Now That the Season is Officially Here

[Arvon]

Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!

Don't we know archaic barrel,
Lullaby Lilla boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolly Molly don't love Harold,
Boola bolla Pensacoola hullabaloo!

Bark us all bow-bow of folly,
Polly wolly cracker n' too-da-loo!
Hunky Dory's pop is gaggin' on the wagon,
Willy, folly go through!

Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloup, 'lop[e with you!
Chollie's collie barksat Barrow, Harum scarum five alarum bung-a-loo!

[Cadfael]

Good King Wenceslas looked out
Of his petty window
Silly b*stard he fell out
On a red hot cinder

Brightly shone his a*se that night
And the pain was cruel
Till a Doctor came in sight
And said 'You Bloody Fooo-uuu-el.

[Iron Greasel]

Come on and bring your shovel, we're out for trouble and fright.
We'll take all we can carry from the old cemetery tonight.
In potter's field we'll disinter one dead person or two.
We need the freshest body we can get; nothing shoddy will do.

With a mind quite refined but defined obsessed: that's young Herbert West.
His studies into death are quite progressed.
He needs flesh that is fresh in a special way, and has no decay.
He can't use a stiff with a whiff: to avoid it he'll even slay!

M.U's most brilliant student is not so prudent at times.
With loads of mad palaver he commits his cadaverous crimes.
As he injects a potion to witness motion anew,
You must admit it's terrific, Herbert's scientific breakthrough

There's a typhoid epidemic stalking Arkham-town.
It has killed Dean Halsey, who's a doctor of renown.
But Herb's chemical-agent swiftly sends his saintly soul to hell,
While his mortal remains live in a padded cell. Well well well!

It will cause the greatest horror this town ever saw,
'Cause the Dean will tear and eat the flesh from bodies raw.
It'll look as grotesque as imagery by artist Sidney Sime.
These terrible things are the things we'll remember all through our time.

From our laboratory in all its glory we've fled.
I still recall in dreams that awful night and the screams of the dead.
In potter's field we opened many graves always groping for breath,
All in the name of science and in outright defiance of death.

Body ripped from a crypt, terror gripped my heart, but I did my part.
I thought that Herbert West was really smart.
And alas not too fast but at last I learned his victims returned.
They came to avenge the syringe and he got the fate that he earned!

The work was slow and sordid in a really morbid domain.
Herb was a workaholic with a cold diabolical brain.
To Herb a human bein' was a mere machine made o' meat.
It only goes to show you that old death is a foe you can't cheat.