It's Imponderable Time Again

[Arvon]

Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?
How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
Whats a question with no answer called?
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
Do bald people get dandruff?
Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?

[VulcanRider]

Originally posted by Arvon: Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun? No worse than spending the first 2 years of a kid's life teaching him to walk & talk, & the next 16 telling him to sit down & shut up... Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables? Yes. How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color? You're not using enough Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith? Unless they grounded it to the synagogue next door Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade? I'm more worried about where they get the stuff for a Bloody Mary Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck? So people you hate will see it coming Whats a question with no answer called? Political campaigning How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there? First you place the sign, then you plant the grass. When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them? For the same reason a public bathroom only lets you use 1 stall. The average human ain't that wide. If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb? Neither. Just lick your finger, pick 'em both up, and they'll go back together in yer belly "What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?" Leutenant Hook? Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing? Yes--really! Do bald people get dandruff? Yes, usually off the hairy slob next to them Why doesn't baking soda freeze? It comes to Florida for the winter What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes? He'd slap you silly If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty? Nobody knows. They look so disgusting nobody'll eat one. If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee? Technically it comes out of your estate before the family inherits. But just for giggles you could put a line in your will saying "you left the movie in the Blockbuster box to Cousin Edna". Can a person with no ears wear glasses? Now there's 1002 uses for Duct Tape! Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)? The answer's still "yes" Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too? Sure, but they're easy to avoid. When they sneeze you can hear 'em for miles If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop? I don't think they care How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes? They're not? Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach? Sure, they just gotta shove it in a little further Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David? Neither, they avoid their mothers, just like Jewish non-vampires Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute? It's only cute until somebody gets stabbed by a doll

[Kakero]

Does rhetorical questions need to be answered? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Sir Goulum]

Lol at the last one. That's a good point. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Iron Greasel]

I think Captain Hook's first name is "James", but I'm not sure of the last one.

[Q'alooaith]

Originally posted by Arvon: Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?

Bad parents

Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?

Fruit

How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?

Because it's too thinly spread, which is the idea, you can see where theres too much

Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?

And a burnt down churchs shows how much more faith?

Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?

Yes

Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?

Heads up, meaning look up so you know where to move to avoid the danger

Whats a question with no answer called?

rhetorical

How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?

Because before the sign was put up there was no comand not to walk on the grass

When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?

It let's less heat out

If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?

Two crumbs by definition of a crumb

"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"

Captin hand maybe?

Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?

Not often

Do bald people get dandruff?

Not that I know of

Why doesn't baking soda freeze?

Everything freazes at low enough temperatures, your not getting it cold enough

What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?

You'd be imprissoned in the genie's flask for your greed

If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?

Possibly, would depend on how the milk was chocofiyed

If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?

Yes, though some companys would wave the fee if you died while returning it

Can a person with no ears wear glasses?

Yes

Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?

Occasional

Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?

Most often not

If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?

Depends on how they died, but their bladder would most likey empty after they expiered

How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?

I expect you mean for nuetritional value, well it's because the deep frying starts to break them down so they no longer hold the same nuetrients

Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?

Yes

Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?

Both if weilded with faith and conviction, neither if held by the faithless. They are repelled by the faith drawing the attetion of a divine being onto the symbol, not the symbol itself, kind of like a personal attack allarm, it does diddly if no one hears it, but it might scare off an attacker in a built up area

Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?

Because the personaltys of a child tend not to manifest through the child to the same effect, the child is not seeing anyone but is imagining them, and so can tell them appart from real people.


Simple questions realy.

[VulcanRider]

Originally posted by Q'alooaith: quote: How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?

Because before the sign was put up there was no comand not to walk on the grass [/QUOTE]Ah, but then how does the person who put the sign up leave the area?

[RoSs_bg2_rox]

By helicopter...duh.

[Sir Degrader]

Damn Q'alooaith , you slaughtered them.

[Dragonshadow]

THey could always just lean across the grass, hammer the sign in, then lean back. You don't have to set foot on the grass.
Or you could put the sign next to the grass.