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-   -   It's Imponderable Time Again (http://www.ironworksforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=93346)

Arvon 04-06-2005 09:35 PM

Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?
How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
Whats a question with no answer called?
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
Do bald people get dandruff?
Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?

VulcanRider 04-07-2005 03:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Arvon:
Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
<font color=green>No worse than spending the first 2 years of a kid's life teaching him to walk & talk, & the next 16 telling him to sit down & shut up...
</font>
Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?
<font color=green> Yes. </font>
How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?
<font color=green>You're not using enough</font>
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
<font color=green>Unless they grounded it to the synagogue next door ;) </font>
Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
<font color=green>I'm more worried about where they get the stuff for a Bloody Mary </font>
Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
<font color=green>So people you hate will see it coming </font>
Whats a question with no answer called?
<font color=green>Political campaigning</font>
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
<font color=green>First you place the sign, then you plant the grass. </font>
When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
<font color=green>For the same reason a public bathroom only lets you use 1 stall. The average human ain't that wide. </font>
If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
<font color=green>Neither. Just lick your finger, pick 'em both up, and they'll go back together in yer belly </font>
"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
<font color=green>Leutenant Hook?</font>
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
<font color=green> Yes--really!</font>
Do bald people get dandruff?
<font color=green>Yes, usually off the hairy slob next to them</font>
Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
<font color=green>It comes to Florida for the winter</font>
What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
<font color=green>He'd slap you silly</font>
If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
<font color=green>Nobody knows. They look so disgusting nobody'll eat one. </font>
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
<font color=green>Technically it comes out of your estate before the family inherits. But just for giggles you could put a line in your will saying "you left the movie in the Blockbuster box to Cousin Edna". </font>
Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
<font color=green>Now there's 1002 uses for Duct Tape!</font>
Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?
<font color=green>The answer's still "yes"</font>
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
<font color=green>Sure, but they're easy to avoid. When they sneeze you can hear 'em for miles</font>
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
<font color=green>I don't think they care</font>
How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
<font color=green>They're not?</font>
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
<font color=green>Sure, they just gotta shove it in a little further</font>
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
<font color=green>Neither, they avoid their mothers, just like Jewish non-vampires</font>
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
<font color=green>It's only cute until somebody gets stabbed by a doll</font>


Kakero 04-07-2005 06:30 AM

Does rhetorical questions need to be answered? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Sir Goulum 04-08-2005 07:42 PM

Lol at the last one. That's a good point. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Iron Greasel 04-09-2005 11:17 AM

I think Captain Hook's first name is "James", but I'm not sure of the last one.

Q'alooaith 04-09-2005 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Arvon:
Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
Bad parents
Quote:

Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?
Fruit
Quote:

How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?
Because it's too thinly spread, which is the idea, you can see where theres too much
Quote:

Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
And a burnt down churchs shows how much more faith?
Quote:

Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
Yes
Quote:

Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
Heads up, meaning look up so you know where to move to avoid the danger
Quote:

Whats a question with no answer called?
rhetorical
Quote:

How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
Because before the sign was put up there was no comand not to walk on the grass
Quote:

When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
It let's less heat out
Quote:

If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
Two crumbs by definition of a crumb
Quote:

"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
Captin hand maybe?
Quote:

Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
Not often
Quote:

Do bald people get dandruff?
Not that I know of
Quote:

Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
Everything freazes at low enough temperatures, your not getting it cold enough
Quote:

What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
You'd be imprissoned in the genie's flask for your greed
Quote:

If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
Possibly, would depend on how the milk was chocofiyed
Quote:

If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
Yes, though some companys would wave the fee if you died while returning it
Quote:

Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
Yes
Quote:

Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?
Occasional
Quote:

Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
Most often not
Quote:

If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
Depends on how they died, but their bladder would most likey empty after they expiered
Quote:

How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
I expect you mean for nuetritional value, well it's because the deep frying starts to break them down so they no longer hold the same nuetrients
Quote:

Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
Yes
Quote:

Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
Both if weilded with faith and conviction, neither if held by the faithless. They are repelled by the faith drawing the attetion of a divine being onto the symbol, not the symbol itself, kind of like a personal attack allarm, it does diddly if no one hears it, but it might scare off an attacker in a built up area
Quote:

Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
Because the personaltys of a child tend not to manifest through the child to the same effect, the child is not seeing anyone but is imagining them, and so can tell them appart from real people.


Simple questions realy.

VulcanRider 04-09-2005 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Q'alooaith:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?

Because before the sign was put up there was no comand not to walk on the grass </font>[/QUOTE]Ah, but then how does the person who put the sign up leave the area?

RoSs_bg2_rox 04-09-2005 02:09 PM

By helicopter...duh. :D

Sir Degrader 04-11-2005 08:43 PM

Damn Q'alooaith , you slaughtered them.

Dragonshadow 04-12-2005 09:53 AM

THey could always just lean across the grass, hammer the sign in, then lean back. You don't have to set foot on the grass.
Or you could put the sign next to the grass.


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