Sealing Iraq's Two Wounds

Iraq's First Problem:

Recently, an arrest warrent was put on a Cleric (Muqtada al-Sadr) in Najaf for inciting violence against US soldiers. This Cleric will NOT give himself up easily. But I think it can be solved without a single bullet flying. Here's how:
-------Operation "Frightened Rabid Kitten"-----------
Step 1: Promise that the Cleric will not be hurt, killed, tortured, incriminated, etc.
Step 2: Prove above said statement (Photo Evidence, etc.)
Step 3: Arrest Cleric
Step 4: Americans Get the HELL out of Najaf!: It's a holy city and I doubt that there is one muslim amongst the US ranks. THAT is why Muqtada al-Sadr is inciting the violence agsint Americans.
Step 5: Convince Pakistan or Saudi Arabia to Occupy City: Put an all-muslim army in an all-muslim city and everything is just fine.

---------Operation "Living Dead"----------
Basically, turn the Militia into a Police Force that protects the town.
---------Operation "Tha Truth"----------
Show Muqtada al-Sadr the horrors of what he's supporting -- Have former Torturees tell him of their experience, show him photos of Torture Chambers, and tell him about the Regime's crimes against humanity. If THAT doesn't make him stop, he's one of those sick bastards!
----------Operation "Godfather"------------
Offer this trade:
Three Whole Years Supply of Food, Booze, Cigs, and other goods
For Muqtada al-Sadr
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The Second Problem:
Izzat Ibrahim Al-Duri: Vice Chairman of the Revolution Command Council. I *hate* this guy! I don't care HOW much he looks like my uncle, he's just as villianous as Saddam Himself! No negotions, No Quarter, and most of all: No Mercy! Here, I will go over my theories on how to shed his blood and the blood of his followers! (sorry, I just hate the guy)
Basic Means of Getting Him:
-> Offer $100,000,000 to whoever brings him in dead, alive, or borderline!
-> Expose him to the people for who he really is and who he really supports!
-> Taunt the HELL out of him!
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Where he could be: Sewers in Any City
How to Get him: Seal off all means of Escape: Put soldiers at entrances/exits, Park Tanks (or put some other heavy object) right over manholes, do not allow people down there without escorts.
Why I believe he could be in the Sewers: In WW2, the French Revolution used the Paris Sewer System and completly bypassed the Nazi Patrols.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Where he could be: Mountainous Regions near Erbil (which is near Kirkuk)
How to get him: In the same manner that you would try to bag Osama Bin Laden
Why I believe he could be in the mountains: Osama Bin Laden hides in the mountains, and yet they have failed to find him.
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Where he could be: Somewhere in Najaf [img]graemlins/doh.gif[/img]
How to get him: Offer $200,000,000 to who ever brings in Izzat Ibrahim (anyone who resists that is either a brain-dead fanatic or not human!) send in Muslim Assassins (Assassins who are muslims) expose Izzat for who he is.
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What to do with him when (if) he is caught:
-> Beat him up for Every US Soldier his goons hurt.
-> Lock him up and throw the key into a fire!
-> Barbeque his sorry ass! (Electric Chair)
-> Jam the Needle in his ass! (Lethal Injection)
-> Give him a taste of his own medicine (gas chamber)

[Skunk]

Originally posted by The Whackmiester: Iraq's First Problem: Recently, an arrest warrent was put on a Cleric (Muqtada al-Sadr) in Najaf for inciting violence against US soldiers. This Cleric will NOT give himself up easily. But I think it can be solved without a single bullet flying. Here's how: -------Operation "Frightened Rabid Kitten"----------- Step 1: Promise that the Cleric will not be hurt, killed, tortured, incriminated, etc. Step 2: Prove above said statement (Photo Evidence, etc.) Step 3: Arrest Cleric Step 4: Americans Get the HELL out of Najaf!: It's a holy city and I doubt that there is one muslim amongst the US ranks. THAT is why Muqtada al-Sadr is inciting the violence agsint Americans. Step 5: Convince Pakistan or Saudi Arabia to Occupy City: Put an all-muslim army in an all-muslim city and everything is just fine. ---------Operation "Living Dead"---------- Basically, turn the Militia into a Police Force that protects the town. ---------Operation "Tha Truth"---------- Show Muqtada al-Sadr the horrors of what he's supporting -- Have former Torturees tell him of their experience, show him photos of Torture Chambers, and tell him about the Regime's crimes against humanity. If THAT doesn't make him stop, he's one of those sick bastards! ----------Operation "Godfather"------------ Offer this trade: Three Whole Years Supply of Food, Booze, Cigs, and other goods For Muqtada al-Sadr ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Second Problem: Izzat Ibrahim Al-Duri: Vice Chairman of the Revolution Command Council. I *hate* this guy! I don't care HOW much he looks like my uncle, he's just as villianous as Saddam Himself! No negotions, No Quarter, and most of all: No Mercy! Here, I will go over my theories on how to shed his blood and the blood of his followers! (sorry, I just hate the guy) Basic Means of Getting Him: -> Offer $100,000,000 to whoever brings him in dead, alive, or borderline! -> Expose him to the people for who he really is and who he really supports! -> Taunt the HELL out of him! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Where he could be: Sewers in Any City How to Get him: Seal off all means of Escape: Put soldiers at entrances/exits, Park Tanks (or put some other heavy object) right over manholes, do not allow people down there without escorts. Why I believe he could be in the Sewers: In WW2, the French Revolution used the Paris Sewer System and completly bypassed the Nazi Patrols. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Where he could be: Mountainous Regions near Erbil (which is near Kirkuk) How to get him: In the same manner that you would try to bag Osama Bin Laden Why I believe he could be in the mountains: Osama Bin Laden hides in the mountains, and yet they have failed to find him. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Where he could be: Somewhere in Najaf [img]graemlins/doh.gif[/img] How to get him: Offer $200,000,000 to who ever brings in Izzat Ibrahim (anyone who resists that is either a brain-dead fanatic or not human!) send in Muslim Assassins (Assassins who are muslims) expose Izzat for who he is. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- What to do with him when (if) he is caught: -> Beat him up for Every US Soldier his goons hurt. -> Lock him up and throw the key into a fire! -> Barbeque his sorry ass! (Electric Chair) -> Jam the Needle in his ass! (Lethal Injection) -> Give him a taste of his own medicine (gas chamber)

Interesting proposals, but a few comments:
"Frightened Rabid Kitten"
Pakistan is viewed with suspicion in Iraq - in part because Pakistan is a dictatorship and partly because they are US allies. Ditto for Saudia arabia.
Syrian troops or UN troops would be better.

Operation "Living Dead"
The militia are already protecting the town from those that they believe to be the aggressors.

Operation "Tha Truth"
Sadr was against Saddam's regime and actively fought against it. His father was murdered by Saddam. Sadr want's Iraqis to govern Iraq - not the US and he doesn't want a constitution installed that gives Shi'ites a say in government that doesn't reflect the percentage of the population that they occupy (ie the 'agreed' constitution).

Operation "Godfather"
I don't think many people will sell their country and forget dead loved ones for a few cigs.

As for Izzat Ibrahim Al-Duri, there's already a $10 million dollar bounty on his head - it's more than enough to convince anyone who would want to betray to do so.

[Timber Loftis]

Yeah, if you put Syrian troops in, it would be more efficient -- they could just bring all the insurgents' black market weapons along with them in the same truck! Talk about a fox guarding a henhouse.

Skunk's got a point though -- being either non-muslim or a US ally will put you in the crosshairs. Look at the policemen.

[Sir Degrader]

Or they could do what the french did in Algeria, it worked until the papers got ahold of it.