The Adventures of Jerr Quickfoot, Halfling Thief and Swordsman (BGTutu Version)

[Jerr Conner]

So, let's start with the stats. Keep in mind this is my game in the Conversion Mod BGTutu, which converts BGI onto the BGII Game Engine. This also isn't a solo game...

WARNING: My halfling has a crush on a guard...

Jerr Quickfoot
Neutral Good
Male Halfling
Fighter/Thief

Str: 12
Dex: 19
Con: 10
Int: 13
Wis: 10
Cha: 16

Weapon Proficiencies:

Short Sword: **
Two Weapon Style: **

Chapter One: The Torture Begins

So here I am, waiting for Gorion in front of Winthrop's Inn, when all of a sudden I get this message that I have to meet him in front of the library.

"Awwww! He's mad about those over-due books!" I exclaim as I enter Winthrop's Inn. Last time he got mad at me, he had cast a Summon Monster Level I spell and I hadn't been prepared for that battle. Winthrop joked about his prices, as usual, so I bought two short swords and leather armor. While in the inn, Firebeard Elvenhair asks me to get a Scroll of Identify from his friend, Tethoril. He'd been trying to identify a particular object he found in the grass for nigh a week. I didn't quite have the heart to tell him it was a piece of cow dung, so I agreed to get the scroll for him. After all, he has saved me from Gorion's stray lightining bolts on occassion!

I decided to head to the library real quick.

On my way, Phlydia, a female mage, asks me if I could fetch her book. I decide I should look into it, considering she might put in a good word for me to Gorion so he won't be as mad.

"Where'd ye last leave it, ma'am?"

"Leave what Laddie?"

"The book ye mentioned."

"What book?"

"The one ye lost," I proclaim in exasperation.

"Oh, that 'un! In the hay stack by Bessie!"

As I walk that way, I notice that the door to the priests' quarters are open. I decide to take a peak inside, they may be hiding some good pipeweed in there and gold! Unfortunately, when I walk in, there's someone already there.

"Ye be Jerr, right?" he asks.

"Yes, why?"

"Oh! Oh! Oh! I found 'im first! I get's t' kill ye first!"

"Honestly, I meant to turn in the books on friday!" I exclaim as he draws his dagger.

He lunges at me...then trips over a firelog on the floor and impales himself on one of my short swords!

"Damn ye! I just bought this leather armor!" I curse as I push his body off of mine and examine the blood stains.

That's when it dawns on me I just killed someone. I immediately panic, and run out of the building. As I ran out, a priest confronted me. I quickly explained that someone had attacked me, for overdue library books, and he tells me to go see Gorion at once.

As he opens the door, I hear him scream, "ARRGGHHH! How the bloody hell am I going to explain these blood stains to me ma when she gets here for her visit!?"

As I pass Dreppin, he tells me Phyldia left another of her books in the haystack. I grab the book, and he asks me to go and get a potion from his friend Hull, to heal Bessie of her sickness. I agree, as I don't want to hear about the time he found a gibberling wearing Golden Pantaloons in his closet! Who wears Golden Pantaloons!?

When I turn around to head back to Phlydia, I notice the cover of the book she was reading, "Mountains of Passion". I look left, then right, and laugh mischeviously as I open the book and read a passage! I didn't know the old lady wasn't as much of a prude as she made herself out to be...

I close the book, and run back in her direction. Out of gratitude for the book, all I got was a rock.

I walk to the southeastern part of Candlekeep to find Hull. Unfortunately, I'm accosted by a man who wants to train me in fighting. He tells me to take out my staff, and hit him with it.

He charges at me with his staff, and gets shot in the arse by the archer from behind him!

"Why'd ye shoot 'im in the arse fer!?" I exclaim as I try to pull the arrow out.

"I did nae mean to shoot 'im in the arse! I meant to scares ye likes he tell me too, and I aimed wrong!"

I sigh as I pull the arrow out. Didn't help any that the guy blamed me for the incident...

As I watch the man get hauled off, a dwarf named Reevos informs me that if I don't clear the storehouse of the rats, he'll kick my hide from Candlekeep to Icewind Dale! I throw out my arms and sigh, am I everyone's errand boy all of a sudden!?

The rats were easy to kill. Turns out Reevos is planning on making rat stew for supper, as he's the Keep's cook. Glad me and Gorion are supposedly leaving the keep.

I find Hull and he informs me that he forgot his longsword from the Barracks. As I walk to the barracks, I decide to enter the bunkhouse and grab my first edition of, "Elminster, The Man behind the Hat".

Unfortunately, someone else recognizes me and attacks me just like the first guy! I dodge his lunge, and watch as he bumps his head on the door. He turns around and lunges at me again, only to find that my sword is now sticking out of his gut.

I let out a cry of dismay as I notice that my sword is sticking out of the first edition I had bought earlier that week! Apparently he had decided to loot the place before killing me.

Another priest confronts me outside. After our short conversation, I head to the barracks where Hull's sword is at. I open the chest, and I grab the items. However, as I'm about to leave, I notice that Fuller is there. Immediately I start blushing, and he asks me why I'm there.

"Just seein' if ye want me to run some errands," I reply with my hands behind my head.

"Well, I could use some crossbow bolts," he says.

I just can't say no to a chubby guy, so I run out and walk back to the Inn. As soon as I get to the Inn, I remember Tethoril is in the Inner Grounds, and I catch up to him real quick. He gives me the scroll, commenting on how he too doesn't have the heart to tell Firebead that his 'magical object' is hardened cow dung. We're counting on the old mage to miscast it anyway and identify the dung as a bullet +1.

I enter the Inn and buy some bolts for Fuller. Wow, it turns out that rock Phyldia gave me was worth something! I give Firebeard the scroll, and brace myself as he casts a spell on me. Looks like the old mage can at least cast a Protection from Evil spell well.

Finally, I give Dreppin the antidote, then get chewed out by Hull for slacking off! In response, I quickly pick his pocket and give Fuller the bolts, mentioning there was no need to pay me back.

On my way to see Gorion at last, and hopefully not get polymorphed into a hamster for overdue library books, I encounter Imoen. She mentions she'd like to come along, except for the fact that if she leaves Candlekeep she'll miss her favorite soap opera that a illusionist shows every night. I shrug and find Gorion.

Turns out he doesn't even know about the overdue books! Why on Faerun would he pick the library as the meeting place? Shouldn't he pick the gates?

Later that night, as we're travelling the road, some big lout in badly-designed armor accosts us, with blah blah blah, hand over your ward, blah blah blah, feel my blade! He immediately notices the annoyed look on my face and mentions something about how he'll steal my toys later for this insult. Who does he think he is, my brother or something!?

Gorion tells me to run, and when Gorion says run you run! I miss Gorion, alas no time to grieve.

Imoen shows up and explains that she followed us since her soap opera had been cancelled when the Illusionist was executed for stealing some eggs. She ups and joins my group, how am I supposed to attract guys when they think I have a girlfriend!? I decide it's better if she stays, after all two thieves are better than one, especially when one can test out the traps first! They'll probably end up thinking she's my sister anyway...we decide to go and bury Gorion. When we find him, we read the letter and wonder who this 'E' is. We're to meet a Jaheira and Khalid at the Friendly Arms Inn.

On our way to the Friendly Arms Inn, we encounter a couple, a Halfling and a Wizard. They keep denying they're a couple, but my senses say otherwise...

Besides, it's obvious this Montaron and Xzar are a couple cause of their constant bickering! They sound like they're married! They join us, and our party of four travel to the Friendly Arms Inn to meet Gorion's friends. Hopefully, they're cooler than dad, and will loan me some money to pay for the overdue books, as it'll be a long time until I get back to Candlekeep.

On the way, some old guy stops us on the road.

"Where ye be heading, lad?" he asks.

"Sorry, I'm not into old guys."

"What?"

"Listen, I'm sure ye are quite the catch but I'm not into old guys. Besides, me father just died."

He gives us directions to the Friendly Arms Inn, with an odd expression on his face. Cheerful chap really.

When we arrive at the Inn, some stupid wizard tries to kill us! Hath he no brain? There are four of us, and one of him.

After dispatching the wizard (And watching Monty make a necklace out of his teeth, a belated anniversary gift for Xzar?), we headed in and found Jaheira and Khalid. Turns out they're married too.

"Who is this couple you're travelling with?" Jaheira asked again as she and Khalid looked at Montaron and Xzar.

"For the last time, ye durned elf wench, the blasted wizard be not me lover!" he screamed.

"D-d-definitely in denial," Khalid whispered to Jaheira as they joined us. We decided it'd be best to head to Nashkel right away.

[ 03-05-2004, 10:12 PM: Message edited by: Jerr Conner ]

[Jerr Conner]

UPDATE

Chapter Two: Xzar and Montaron's Honeymoon

We snagged the following quests:

Kill the Ogre Belt-Fetishist
Clear a house of Spiders
Find Mirrianne's Husband (Or proof he's alive and well)
Get the emeralds from Prism
Clear the mines

We got the emeralds, surprisingly Greywolf was easier to kill this time around. We cleared out the mines with ease, the whole time Monty kept wondering what Kobold Meat taste like with a side of Chicken. Xzar kept commenting on how fat Monty was getting.

On the way back, we returned Joseph's ring to his wife, returened the emeralds Prism stole, killed an annoying bard in front of the Nashkel Inn, got a reward for saving the mines, got a ring for delivering a message to Mirrianne, and got a reward for the belts and clearing out the spiders in a house. All in all, a good day.

Monty and Xzar left the group to have a honeymoon. I replaced them with a depressing fellow onamed Xan. Obviously going through the Goth Phase...

[ 03-05-2004, 10:14 PM: Message edited by: Jerr Conner ]

[Jerr Conner]

Chapter Three: Xan, Misunderstood Player?

Right now, I'm a level 3 Fighter and a Level 3 Thief. After Monty and Xzar went on their honeymoon, we picked up Xan into the group.

It's quite interesting to watch the Depressed Elf talk to Imoen.

"Life is so hollow. We should just lay down and die. Do I make you horny, Immy?"

"Don't call me Immy!"

After a short conference with Jaheira and Khalid, we agreed to pick up that Lyrically-Challenged Bard called Garrick, in Beregost. Now we have him hitting on Imoen! She told me if I don't get rid of one of them soon, both of them and I will wake up women in the morning!

I promised her as soon as I find a new shortsword, preferably one with a +2 enchantment and a cool name, we'd drop Garrick and find somebody new.

We've heard that there's a Stone Maiden at the Nashkel Carnival, or a Ranger at High Hedge. I may end up picking up both.

Before leaving Beregost, I talked to two halfling fellows in two seperate bars. Both Zhurlong and Purdue seemed a bit uncomfortable with my leers. Didn't help that Imoen kept plying me with ale...now I find that Zhurlong has stolen money from me, and Purdue is missing a short sword! We found some orcs holding Zhurlong's boots in the south. They complained about getting Athlete's Foot or something.

Then some gnolls gladly gave up Purdue's sword, they were done picking their teeth with it. Both were thankful, but obviously not thankful enough to indulge me with dinner and a play! However, Zhurlong did give me 115 gold.

Before leaving to search for a new sword, I bought the Shadow Thief Armor. Next, we went south of High Hedge. It took some convincing to keep Garrick from defeathering and cooking that talking chicken. He's still mad at us, but Imoen is happy as he hasn't the mood to hit on her. We returned Melicamp to his master, and his master cast an Antichickenator spell. Melicamp quickly thanked us.

Back to the south, the party ran into Bassilus. I quickly hid in shadows and positioned myself behind him, then Imoen had a conversation with him. Apparently he thought Xan was his dad, and he killed all of his undead. A backstab and two hits later, he was dead.

After collecting the reward, we went in search of a new short sword. Supid, STUPID, bandits indeed!

[ 03-05-2004, 10:16 PM: Message edited by: Jerr Conner ]

[Sythe]

I like these tales please continue.

[Jerr Conner]

Coool thanks.

Update:

Chapter Four: Imoen Performs a Sex Change

I finally found the Whistling Sword. Unfortunately, Garrick pushed things a little too far the night before, and while he was asleep Imoen did something to him...

Suffice to say, in the morning he woke up and found he was wearing a belt and he had breasts. Garrick was not pleased.

Thank Brandobaris they only made one Girdle of Gender Bending...

We told Garrick he can stay in the party until we find a suitable female to replace him.

[ 03-05-2004, 10:18 PM: Message edited by: Jerr Conner ]

[Odruith]

Nice work, Jerr

[Jerr Conner]

Thanks, planning on adding another chapter hopefully. (We didn't let Garrick know that the belt can be removed by a priest )

[Xen]

Nice story.

[Jerr Conner]

Thanks.

Update:

Chapter Five: Xan, Really a Player

"Sorry, 'Garrickina', we're dropping you for Branwen," I told the Bard.

"B-B-But, she's a cleric! I'm a bard, I can identify stuff for you!"

"So can Xan, besides it seems he's taking a liking to Branwen which pleases Imoen immensely."

"Life is so hollow. Another hopeless day in Faerun! Do I make you horny, Bran?" Xan asked the priestess.

Branwen grabbed Xan by the collar, her eyes glaring into his as she vowed, "Ask me that one more time and the hammer Aisheeda will find it's way into an orifice of your's we rarely see!"

So I saved it, then we went to Lena to save Samuel, southeast of the Carnival. I took a Potion of Frost Giant Potion, and carried the man all the way to the Friendly Arms Inn. Then I took a Potion of Fire Giant Strength, ran to the Temple...and the game crashed! Looks like I found another bug in BGTutu...

So I'll reload and head to Gullykin. First, off to FWSforums to report the bug.

[ 03-05-2004, 10:19 PM: Message edited by: Jerr Conner ]

[Jerr Conner]

Chapter Six: The Advantages of Hairy Feet

So we headed to Gullykin. I'd never visited Gullykin before, but apparently, Gorion said that I had been born there.

On our way, we encountered a ghoul who wanted to be our friend, and a crazy wizard who commands Bailisks! Funny, though, apparently he didn't have any Basilisks behind him when he approached us.

"What's that ye say? Ye commande basilisks?" I asked.

"Yes! Attack my pets!"

"Er...attack!" he screams as I'm tapping my foot.

"Well, it appears that I don't need them to deal with ye!"

Needless to say, Xan has himself a new Robe of Adventurers. I decided it'd be best to scout out the area first, so I went behind a tree and hid in shadows. The crazy mage was right, there were two Basilisks, but they didn't follow him.

So I asked Korax if he'd be willing to draw off their magical attacks while Imoen and I backstab them. Korax agreed, but if only he got to eat their brains.

Unfortunately, on our way to kill the three Basilisks to the southeast, Korax turned on us. He cited our yummy brains as a reason why. He will be missed...

We found another maiden turned to stone, so we set her free. Unfortunately, all she did was thank us and leave. How the bloody hell are we supposed to eat without cash!?

We managed to kill off those Basilisks with two Potions of Exploding, and some pure luck on our side! The potions only injured them. Luckily, they're more than big enough to backstab with two people.

Imoen and I backstabbed the Greater Basilisk first. He went down fast, then we ran out of there like we were being chased by randy Gibberilings!

I did get a gaze shot at me, but somehow I held out. The next one we backstabbed was the uninjured one. After he died, the near death basilisk was easy to kill.

After that, some group picked a fight with us and now I have the fashionable Golden Girdle.

Everyone agreed it was time to get to Gullykin. As soon as we arrived, we were greeted by one Gandolar Luckyfoot! This chubby little halfling had my heart a'pounding and I'm sure he felt the same. He did keep leering at me, and making innuendo!

"Wow, you sure do have some hairy feet!" I observed.

"Well, you know what they say about hairy feet," Gandolar replied with a wink.

"I'm sure the same thing about Elven ears," Khalid added.

Unluckily, Jaheira kept pressing me to go outside the village because we heard of a few bandits terrorizing the region, so I didn't have time to get his address! Dejected, I scouted out the area with Imoen and we found some bandits.

Turns out they were more than just bandits, they were sent to kill me! Honestly, this fella who thinks he's my brother holds grudges over non-existant toys too easily!

After dispatching them, Khalid now has a new suit of Chain Mail +2, Mail of the Dead. I also leveled up, now I'm a Level 4 Fighter, and a Level 5 Thief.

We set up camp that night, but everyone kept complaining about me practicing with my sword. Apparently, it kept making too much noise whenever I'd pull it out. I can't help that the wizard enchanted the Whistling Blade to whistle whenever I pull it out!!!

[ 03-05-2004, 10:21 PM: Message edited by: Jerr Conner ]