05-17-2002, 11:20 PM | #1 |
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the following group joint together in the chase of Jon Irenicus in the DM's house: girlfriend (always the first), little sister, whinnie and munchikin
DM: ok, so Jon Irenicus, the treachrous evil wizard, stole your essence. You are trapped in his vampire sister's dungeon. what do you do now? Whinnie: ok, are we gonna die? little sister: what is vampire? DM: oh, it is a creature that sucks your blood. little sister: cooool, can I be a vampire? DM: no munchikin: can I? little sister: pretty pleeeease? whinne: is it just me or I got a feeling that we are gonna die?! DM: no, you are not gonna die little sister: so I can be a vampire now? thanks Johnnie, *smooch* munchkin: thank you! *sm... DM: get away from me, you CANNOT be a vampire. little sister: why not? *sad face* MOM! Johnnie called me a dickhead! MOM: JOHN?! don't call you sister that! DM: gosh, MOM, I DID NOT! DAD sticks his head in: don't talk back! hey, what you guys doing? did I say no gamble here? whinnie: ok, are we gonna die? girlfriend got restless: come john, just let your sister have her way and get moving! DM: ok, sure. now you are a vampire, sis. Munchkin: what about me? DM: f--- you Munchkin: fine, I jump in my SUV and start chasing Irenicus DM: you don't have a SUV Munchkin: yes I do DM: no you don't Munchkin: sure I do DM: sure you don't Munchkin: do too! DM: do not! Munchkin: why not? DM: this is freaking forgotten realm, you DO NOT have a god damn SUV here, alright? you have a horse Munchkin: ok, we all got on the horse, arrive at a bar. I throw the key to the waiter boy and said "park my SUV" girlfriend: a bar? woo--hoooo, we go in and have a good time DM: $%^& you don't have a SUV! Munchkin: sure I do, I just parked it DM: no you don't! Munchkin: I just parked it! DM: you know what, you suck. a bolt of lighting struck down from sky, and burnt your SUV. like that? Munchkin: .... (turn to little sister) he just destroyed my SUV little sister: (with a new sudden respect to DM's power, said fearfully) I know... (whisper) he is a meanie DM: hey, I heard that! whinnie: how come I think we are going to die? (later, in battle) Munchkin: I threw a 20, and hits the orc-fighter's head, my two handed sword of never miss penatrate his helmet, and cracked his skull. DM: no, you just threw a 5, and with yout pathetically practiced aim (aka, thac0), you missed, left yourself wide open. (roll) you take 15 dmg whinnie: (look up in horror) oh my god, you are gonna die! little sister: whats thac0? DM (explains thac0) little sister: the lower the better? DM: yes little sister: can I have -20 thac0? Munchkin: what? I cannot miss! my sword is called sword of never miss (which can be wielded in one hand, by the way, cool huh?) how can I miss? thats why it is called NEVER MISS DM: well, you just missed. I guess it needs to change its name now Munchkin: this sucks, whats my thac0? DM: 21 Munchkin: huh? it is NOT DM: yes it is, you haven't rested for two days, and you are fatigued from the encounter with Jon Irenicus. your thac0 is 21 little sister: you just said from 0 to 20! you liar! DM (inhale) girlfriend: ahhh, that orc archer hits me DM (roll, and check secret table): his arrow stuck in your face, heh, that gonna leave a scar. you faint from the pain girlfriend (looks up dangerously): do you want to do it tonight? DM: ... ok, a holy bolt drop on you, all your wounds are healed, you stand up with refreshed energy and two new levels everyone else: nooo, thats not fair! whinnie: this game sucks DM: no it doesn't Munchkin: yes, I do have a SUV DM: oh shut up. Munchkin: I want my suv, I want my suv, I want my suv! DM grab munchkin's character sheet and tear it up & threw it in the trash can: there, still want your SUV? (silence) little sister: it is mine DM: what? little sister: it is mine, the character sheet... DM: oh gosh, I am sorry Munchkin: no, it is mine DM: what the ■■■■, whose is it? let me see Munchkin: no, the trash can is mine DM: no it is mine. Munchkin: sure is mine, its got my character in it DM: your character is DEAD! plus, it was my little sis' character Munchkin: still it is mine DM: shut the ■■■■ up whinnie: ok, we are all gonna die now. [ 05-17-2002, 11:20 PM: Message edited by: TheThing ] |
05-17-2002, 11:28 PM | #2 |
Dracolisk
Join Date: January 5, 2002
Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Age: 39
Posts: 6,043
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ROTFLMAO! *falls out of chair*
HAHHA that's a good one! I can't wait to get back to playing D&D after this stupid broadway performance is over and done with! This practice time has made me miss far too many games and way too many movies! it's not fair anymore!
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05-18-2002, 05:39 PM | #3 |
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Join Date: March 17, 2002
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okay... no one else thinks this is funny?
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05-18-2002, 05:42 PM | #4 |
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
Join Date: August 31, 2001
Location: Land of the Britons
Age: 38
Posts: 3,224
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Yup, I just couldn't be bothered to click the reply buttomn, I'd havre had to move my hand a little.
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05-18-2002, 07:57 PM | #5 |
Harper
Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Lancs, England
Age: 39
Posts: 4,729
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Yeah, that was ace!!!
Lol, sorry I didn't reply quicker, but I've only just read it!!! hehe. I luv ur likkle sis, this line made me nearly piss my pants: little sister: why not? *sad face* MOM! Johnnie called me a dickhead! Quality!!
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05-18-2002, 08:26 PM | #6 |
Quintesson
Join Date: January 21, 2002
Location: Thessaloniki,Hellas
Age: 43
Posts: 1,050
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Terrific!
The best thing is that it can actually HAPPEN in a way!!!!
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05-18-2002, 08:43 PM | #7 |
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
Join Date: January 9, 2002
Location: Mt. Gambier, Australia
Age: 37
Posts: 3,337
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ROTFLMFAO!!! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] I love It!!!!
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05-18-2002, 10:22 PM | #8 |
Symbol of Cyric
Join Date: January 24, 2002
Location: England
Age: 41
Posts: 1,203
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lmao It sounds worse than my recent attempt at DM'ing, reading yours doesn't make me feel quite as bad lol, nice of you too share it with us [img]smile.gif[/img]
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05-19-2002, 03:36 AM | #9 |
Drizzt Do'Urden
Join Date: April 3, 2002
Location: West Palm Beach
Age: 43
Posts: 612
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ah couldn't you have just let her be a vamp. You meanie
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05-19-2002, 05:33 AM | #10 |
Beholder
Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: Het Hertogdom Gelre!!!!!
Age: 39
Posts: 4,364
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Reminds me of playing DnD with 250 [img]smile.gif[/img]
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