10-20-2002, 11:08 AM | #1 |
Unicorn
Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
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Classroom Quotes
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. STUDENT: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: George!! TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have 10 years ago. WILLY: Me!! SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum? STUDENT: No, I'm Billy Anderson. TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? STUDENT: I get up early. TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave? STUDENT: Yes, Sir. TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't? STUDENT: Yes Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours. TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? STUDENT: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do? TEACHER: Of course not. HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework. TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? STUDENT: The one that says, "School Ahead, Slow Children crossing." TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper. JOHN: I hope you didn't either. GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test. TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you. MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test? JUNIOR: Because of absence. MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test? JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was. SYLVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? SYLVIA: Your name on this report card. TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son. FATHER: What's that? TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake. SAMMY: You can't fool me, teacher....snakes don't have feet! TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is.... TEACHER: No, Ellen, Always say "I am." ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet". TEACHER: Max, use "defeat", "defense", and "detail" in a sentence. MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail. MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you? JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money. TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get? SASHA: A new bike. TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? VINCENT: One dollar. TEACHER: (sadly) You don't know your arithmetic. VINCENT: (sadly) You don't know my father. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!! BOY: Isn't the principal a dummy! GIRL: Say, do you know who I am? BOY: No. GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter. BOY: And do you know who I am? GIRL: No. BOY: Thank Goodness!!
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10-20-2002, 11:58 AM | #2 |
Zartan
Join Date: May 2, 2001
Location: Ulpia Noviomagus Batavorum
Age: 43
Posts: 5,281
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Nice to read them again, been a while. [img]smile.gif[/img]
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10-20-2002, 05:19 PM | #3 | |
Unicorn
Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
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Quote:
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10-20-2002, 05:26 PM | #4 |
John Locke
Join Date: February 7, 2002
Location: Edmonton, Canada
Age: 35
Posts: 8,985
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LOL! Well, I haven't seen it! I love the 'Slow Children Walking' one!
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10-21-2002, 07:25 PM | #5 |
Hathor
Join Date: October 11, 2001
Location: At My Computer
Age: 43
Posts: 2,217
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good ones arvon
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Now the swinging bridge<br />Is quieted with creepers. . . <br />Like our tendrilled life. -Basho |
10-21-2002, 08:43 PM | #6 |
Gold Dragon
Join Date: June 18, 2002
Location: Wolfville, NS / Calgary, AB
Age: 36
Posts: 2,563
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Heehee, it's like a trip down memory lane!
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10-21-2002, 09:08 PM | #7 |
Fzoul Chembryl
Join Date: June 14, 2001
Location: Vermont
Age: 32
Posts: 1,752
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ROTFLMAO! Thanks Arvon, good laughing material there.... never seen it before! [img]graemlins/evillaughter1.gif[/img] The "I didn't do my homework" one was the best! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
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10-21-2002, 10:58 PM | #8 | |
Symbol of Cyric
Join Date: August 18, 2002
Location: Where Eagles Dare
Age: 36
Posts: 1,391
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Quote:
That one is halrious.
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<br />[url]\"http://www.bratgirlcentral.com/cgi-bin/ouapforum/ikonboard/ikonboard.cgi\" target=\"_blank\">Once Upon A Paper</a><br />Living on a razors edge<br />Balancing on ledge<br />Living on a razors edge |
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10-22-2002, 12:56 AM | #9 |
Dracolisk
Join Date: January 5, 2002
Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Age: 38
Posts: 6,043
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*sigh* those bring back memories ^_^
This one is 100% true: Teacher: "Don't run with sicors sticking out like that!" Me: "But If I don't Then I'LL be the one who get's stabbed when someone runs into me!"
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