Euro English (really funny joke!!)

ZFR · 10-30-2003, 04:01 PM

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU rather than
German which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year
phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c"
will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up
konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be
growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double
letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the
language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year,
ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and
similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer
vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to
understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil
tak over ze vorld!

RoSs_bg2_rox · 10-30-2003, 04:25 PM

ROFLMAO

10-30-2003, 04:28 PM

hahahhahhahahahah! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] okay I was doing fine reading your English post until it started looking more German. Ich nein sprechen si Deutsch herr ZFR. [img]tongue.gif[/img] The board is rocking today with laugher.

Stratos · 10-30-2003, 05:54 PM

That doesn't look anything like German.

10-30-2003, 06:14 PM

In the first paragraph it mentions that the other offical EU language possibility is German. I just joked that in the end it would be German. Yes I know that's not German.

Faceman · 10-30-2003, 06:15 PM

reminded me of esperanto a bit

just kidding
it's not like German but funny to read

johnny · 10-30-2003, 06:40 PM

Well, it's English the way "Herr Flick of ze Gestapo" would speak it in "Allo Allo".

Hivetyrant · 10-30-2003, 07:39 PM

That was exellent, although i think i have heard something similar here before.
Or mabye not.
Anyway, good joke

J.J. · 10-31-2003, 03:43 AM

Ich bin ROTFLMAO, den ganzen tag. [img]smile.gif[/img]

10-30-2003, 04:01 PM	#1
ZFR Legion Symbol Join Date: February 14, 2002 Location: Ireland Age: 39 Posts: 7,367	The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld! __________________ ZFR

10-30-2003, 04:25 PM	#2
RoSs_bg2_rox Zartan Join Date: May 20, 2003 Location: Near Aberdeen, Scotland Age: 34 Posts: 5,225	ROFLMAO __________________ [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/dragonwater2.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

10-30-2003, 05:54 PM	#4
Stratos Vampire Join Date: January 29, 2003 Location: Sweden Age: 43 Posts: 3,888	That doesn't look anything like German. __________________ Nothing is impossible, it's just a matter of probability.

10-30-2003, 06:15 PM	#6
Faceman Hathor Join Date: February 18, 2002 Location: Vienna Age: 42 Posts: 2,248	reminded me of esperanto a bit just kidding it's not like German but funny to read __________________ \"I am forever spellbound by the frailty of life\"<br /><br /> Faceman

10-30-2003, 06:40 PM	#7
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	Well, it's English the way "Herr Flick of ze Gestapo" would speak it in "Allo Allo". __________________

10-30-2003, 04:28 PM	#3
GForce Guest Posts: n/a	hahahhahhahahahah! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] okay I was doing fine reading your English post until it started looking more German. Ich nein sprechen si Deutsch herr ZFR. [img]tongue.gif[/img] The board is rocking today with laugher.

10-30-2003, 06:14 PM	#5
GForce Guest Posts: n/a	In the first paragraph it mentions that the other offical EU language possibility is German. I just joked that in the end it would be German. Yes I know that's not German.

10-30-2003, 07:39 PM	#8
Hivetyrant Jack Burton Join Date: August 24, 2002 Location: Aussie now in the US of A! Age: 37 Posts: 5,403	That was exellent, although i think i have heard something similar here before. Or mabye not. Anyway, good joke

10-31-2003, 03:43 AM	#9
J.J. Symbol of Cyric Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Montana, USA Age: 60 Posts: 1,217	Ich bin ROTFLMAO, den ganzen tag. [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ Amanda, Kyleia, and Kathleen\'s Dad-Best Damn Job, Period. Official procrastinator of the O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. Clan unOfficial Homeopathic Quacktitioner of the IW Realm

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