02-16-2004, 02:46 PM | #1 |
Elite Waterdeep Guard
Join Date: February 8, 2004
Location: Home
Age: 34
Posts: 9
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WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
>To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. > >Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!" > >"Don't what?" Adam replied. > >"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. > >"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!" > >"No Way!" > >"Yes way!" > >"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. > >"Why" > >"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! > >"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked. > >"Uh huh," Adam replied. > >"Then why did you?" said the Father. > >"I don't know," said Eve. > >"She started it!" Adam said > >"Did not!" > >"Did too!" > >"DID NOT!" > >Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. > >BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! > >If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? > >THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! > >1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. > >2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. > >3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. > >4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. > >5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. > >6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. > >ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day. > >AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: > >"TAK E TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN" > >Quick, send this on to 10 people within the next 5 minutes. > >Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, 10 people will be laughing!! > > >
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Ray-ryu |
02-16-2004, 02:49 PM | #2 |
Elite Waterdeep Guard
Join Date: February 8, 2004
Location: Home
Age: 34
Posts: 9
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Warning don't drink cofe or other hot drinks while reding
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Ray-ryu |
02-16-2004, 02:53 PM | #3 |
Symbol of Moradin
Join Date: June 5, 2002
Location: Slovenia,Ljubljana
Age: 36
Posts: 8,554
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LOL! Funny as hell!
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02-16-2004, 03:06 PM | #4 |
Quth-Maren
Join Date: February 17, 2003
Location: Portsmouth
Age: 34
Posts: 4,145
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*laughs**falls off cahir*
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02-16-2004, 03:09 PM | #5 |
40th Level Warrior
Join Date: October 29, 2001
Location: Western Wilds of Michigan
Posts: 11,752
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Great stuff! Bill Cosby, late 1960's, on the album (not CD!) To Russell, My Brother Whom I Slept With
Amazingly good [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
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*B* Save Early, Save Often Save Before, Save After Two-Star General, Spelling Soldiers -+-+-+ Give 'em a hug one more time. It might be the last. |
02-16-2004, 03:25 PM | #6 |
Ra
Join Date: May 19, 2002
Location: The US of A
Age: 35
Posts: 2,365
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Makes me smile.
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Slythe is back! Back again! Haha! <br /><br />[url]\"http://imageshack.us\" target=\"_blank\"> [img]\"http://img472.imageshack.us/img472/9928/130blood4ts.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /></a> |
02-16-2004, 03:28 PM | #7 |
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
Join Date: June 3, 2003
Location: New York
Age: 39
Posts: 3,302
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lol.
"1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. " That was a really good one [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
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"You're a thief and a liar." "No, I only lied about being a thief." |
02-16-2004, 06:25 PM | #8 |
Symbol of Cyric
Join Date: November 12, 2002
Location: Banstead, Southeast England
Age: 37
Posts: 1,162
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Loved them...hilarious...great stuff!
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02-16-2004, 07:05 PM | #9 |
The Dreadnoks
Join Date: September 27, 2001
Location: Orlando, FL
Age: 61
Posts: 3,608
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True that!
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The Lizzie Palmer Tribute Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. John F. Kennedy 35th President of The United States The Last Shot Honor The Fallen Jesus died for our sins, and American Soldiers died for our freedom. If you don't stand behind our Soldiers, please feel free to stand in front of them. |
02-16-2004, 10:28 PM | #10 |
40th Level Warrior
Join Date: March 24, 2002
Posts: 10,215
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nice story. LOL
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