Grim times ahead on job security

Davros · 10-23-2003, 08:50 AM

I am becoming increasingly concerned this week over my future job prospects at my company. Our Production Manager is driving me insane.

The problem is that he, being a mighty edifice of my company was afforded some corporate hospitality at the rugby game on the weekend (Saffies V The Poms) by one of our chemical suppliers. Are you starting to see a conflict of interest thing emerging here - NO, you're wrong, it's nothing as simple as that. Ever since the game, the silly duffer has been singing the same song over and over and OVER AGAIN. It gets worse - he actually acts out the song is some sort of low swinging, carry me home type pagan ritual. Ye gods - there are actions for every single word in the song - IT'S BIZARRE AND DEEPLY DISTURBING!!!!!

This guy has gone completely round the bend. Coupled with that I have had to spend the last 3 days at work and nights (by mobile phone) in close and constant contact with him during the first rough patch the plant has gone through in over 3 months.

Homicide is illegal I know - but is barmicide or charioticide??? Surely the law in this land still recognises cruel and unusual punishment as a worthy defence

.

Donut · 10-23-2003, 09:01 AM

I'm sometimes up and sometimes down
But still my soul feels heavenly bound

Looks like he's seen the light Davros. You'll have to get used to it because it's going to get worse. Everyone in London is swinging low at the moment. It's a bit like 'it's a small world', once the song gets into your head it won't go away.

Davros · 10-23-2003, 09:05 AM

No - I refuse to get used to it - not happening - NO WAY

Donut · 10-23-2003, 09:05 AM

I have a similar problem with a guy with a strange accent in the pub who is treatening to send me homeward tae think again!

Davros · 10-23-2003, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Donut:
I have a similar problem with a guy with a strange accent in the pub who is treatening to send me homeward tae think again!

Well at least I know the words to that one and can enjoy joining in

dplax · 10-23-2003, 09:09 AM

Yeah, but saying the same words to a guy in a bar, and to your boss isn't exactly the same thing.

Davros · 10-23-2003, 09:13 AM

Thank you - OH THANK YOU DONUT - you have saved me

. For the past 5 minues I have completely had the chariots driven from my mind by yer bonny tune. All together now :

O' flower of Scotland...... [img]smile.gif[/img]

Skunk · 10-23-2003, 09:30 AM

Wait till you hear this one being sung by a drunken Scot:

Jeely Piece song
I'm a skyscraper wean; I live on the nineteenth flair,
But I'm no' gaun oot tae play ony mair,
'Cause since we moved tae Castlemilk, I'm wastin' away
'Cause I'm getting' wan meal less every day:

Oh ye cannae fling pieces oot a twenty story flat,
Seven hundred hungry weans will testify to that.
If it's butter, cheese or jeely, if the breid is plain or pan,
The odds against it reaching earth are ninety-nine tae wan.

On the first day ma maw flung oot a daud o' Hovis broon;
It came skytin' oot the windae and went up insteid o' doon.
Noo every twenty-seven hours it comes back intae sight
'Cause ma piece went intae orbit and became a satellite.

On the second day ma maw flung me a piece oot wance again.
It went and hut the pilot in a fast low-flying plane.
He scraped it aff his goggles, shouting through the intercom,
"The Clydeside Reds huv goat me wi' a breid-an-jeely bomb."

On the third day ma maw thought she would try another throw.
The Salvation Army band was staunin' doon below.
"Onward Christian Soldiers" was the piece they should've played
But the oompahman was playing a piece an' marmalade.

We've wrote away to Oxfam to try an' get some aid,
An a' the weans in Castlemilk have formed a 'piece-brigade'.
We're gonnae march to George's Square demanding civil rights
Like nae mair hooses ower piece-flinging height.

Now *that* is a song that stuck in my head for my entire student days in Aberdeen because my flat-mate wouldn't stop singing it in fresher's week.
A couple of pints of 'heavy' and off he went...

(A jeely piece is a is a slice of bread and jam)

[ 10-23-2003, 09:38 AM: Message edited by: Skunk ]

Davros · 10-23-2003, 09:41 AM

Nice song Skunk - and I ken wa a piece is

- I was readin me Oor Wullie books as a lad

Mouse · 10-23-2003, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Donut:
Everyone in London is swinging low at the moment.

That's because they lack the ability to purchase properly fitting underwear

10-23-2003, 08:50 AM	#1
Davros Takhisis Follower Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Mandurah, West Australia Age: 60 Posts: 5,073	I am becoming increasingly concerned this week over my future job prospects at my company. Our Production Manager is driving me insane. The problem is that he, being a mighty edifice of my company was afforded some corporate hospitality at the rugby game on the weekend (Saffies V The Poms) by one of our chemical suppliers. Are you starting to see a conflict of interest thing emerging here - NO, you're wrong, it's nothing as simple as that. Ever since the game, the silly duffer has been singing the same song over and over and OVER AGAIN. It gets worse - he actually acts out the song is some sort of low swinging, carry me home type pagan ritual. Ye gods - there are actions for every single word in the song - IT'S BIZARRE AND DEEPLY DISTURBING!!!!! This guy has gone completely round the bend. Coupled with that I have had to spend the last 3 days at work and nights (by mobile phone) in close and constant contact with him during the first rough patch the plant has gone through in over 3 months. Homicide is illegal I know - but is barmicide or charioticide??? Surely the law in this land still recognises cruel and unusual punishment as a worthy defence . __________________ Davros was right - just ask JD

10-23-2003, 09:01 AM	#2
Donut Jack Burton Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Airstrip One Age: 40 Posts: 5,571	I'm sometimes up and sometimes down But still my soul feels heavenly bound Looks like he's seen the light Davros. You'll have to get used to it because it's going to get worse. Everyone in London is swinging low at the moment. It's a bit like 'it's a small world', once the song gets into your head it won't go away. __________________ [img]\"http://www.wheatsheaf.freeserve.co.uk/roastspurs.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> <br />Proud member of the Axis of Upheaval<br />Official Titterer of the Laughing Hyenas<br />Josiah Bartlet - the best President the US never had.<br />The 1st D in the D & D Show

10-23-2003, 09:05 AM	#3
Davros Takhisis Follower Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Mandurah, West Australia Age: 60 Posts: 5,073	No - I refuse to get used to it - not happening - NO WAY __________________ Davros was right - just ask JD

10-23-2003, 09:05 AM	#4
Donut Jack Burton Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Airstrip One Age: 40 Posts: 5,571	I have a similar problem with a guy with a strange accent in the pub who is treatening to send me homeward tae think again! __________________ [img]\"http://www.wheatsheaf.freeserve.co.uk/roastspurs.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> <br />Proud member of the Axis of Upheaval<br />Official Titterer of the Laughing Hyenas<br />Josiah Bartlet - the best President the US never had.<br />The 1st D in the D & D Show

10-23-2003, 09:09 AM	#6
dplax Jack Burton Join Date: July 19, 2003 Location: an expat living in France Age: 38 Posts: 5,577	Yeah, but saying the same words to a guy in a bar, and to your boss isn't exactly the same thing. __________________

10-23-2003, 09:13 AM	#7
Davros Takhisis Follower Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Mandurah, West Australia Age: 60 Posts: 5,073	Thank you - OH THANK YOU DONUT - you have saved me . For the past 5 minues I have completely had the chariots driven from my mind by yer bonny tune. All together now : O' flower of Scotland...... [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ Davros was right - just ask JD

10-23-2003, 09:30 AM	#8
Skunk Banned User Join Date: September 3, 2001 Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands Age: 62 Posts: 1,463	Wait till you hear this one being sung by a drunken Scot: Jeely Piece song I'm a skyscraper wean; I live on the nineteenth flair, But I'm no' gaun oot tae play ony mair, 'Cause since we moved tae Castlemilk, I'm wastin' away 'Cause I'm getting' wan meal less every day: Oh ye cannae fling pieces oot a twenty story flat, Seven hundred hungry weans will testify to that. If it's butter, cheese or jeely, if the breid is plain or pan, The odds against it reaching earth are ninety-nine tae wan. On the first day ma maw flung oot a daud o' Hovis broon; It came skytin' oot the windae and went up insteid o' doon. Noo every twenty-seven hours it comes back intae sight 'Cause ma piece went intae orbit and became a satellite. On the second day ma maw flung me a piece oot wance again. It went and hut the pilot in a fast low-flying plane. He scraped it aff his goggles, shouting through the intercom, "The Clydeside Reds huv goat me wi' a breid-an-jeely bomb." On the third day ma maw thought she would try another throw. The Salvation Army band was staunin' doon below. "Onward Christian Soldiers" was the piece they should've played But the oompahman was playing a piece an' marmalade. We've wrote away to Oxfam to try an' get some aid, An a' the weans in Castlemilk have formed a 'piece-brigade'. We're gonnae march to George's Square demanding civil rights Like nae mair hooses ower piece-flinging height. Now that is a song that stuck in my head for my entire student days in Aberdeen because my flat-mate wouldn't stop singing it in fresher's week. A couple of pints of 'heavy' and off he went... (A jeely piece is a is a slice of bread and jam) [ 10-23-2003, 09:38 AM: Message edited by: Skunk ]

10-23-2003, 09:41 AM	#9
Davros Takhisis Follower Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Mandurah, West Australia Age: 60 Posts: 5,073	Nice song Skunk - and I ken wa a piece is - I was readin me Oor Wullie books as a lad __________________ Davros was right - just ask JD

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