Things you say to your boss & vice versa :D

[Vaskez]

Boss says to his employee who arrives late:
- This is the 4th time this week that you are late! What conclusions can we draw from this...?
- That it's thursday!


- Smith, why are you so late?
- Cos yesterday you told me to read the paper at home and not here!


One employer says to another:
- Your employees are always on time, how do you do it?
- Simple trick: 30 employees, 20 parking spaces.


- Don't think of me as your boss, think of me as a good friend who is always right.


- As long as my boss acts like he is paying me a lot, I'm gonna act like I am working a lot.


- We can't offer you a job, we have no work for you to do!
- In theory, that doesn't bother me!


The boss is mad at his secretary:
- Who told you that you could just laze around because I kissed you a few times?!
- My lawyer.


- Why isn't Johnson doing anything this week?
- He's standing in for the boss.

- We're looking for someone who does all their work on time and is never sick.
- Hire me, I'll help you look!


Interviewer:
- Ok you can start work on monday, pay is based on performance!
Applicant:
- I can't live on that!


- Jones, I know your salary isn't enough to get married on. But believe me, one day you'll thank me for that!


- Hey boss, can I go 2 hours early today? My wife wants me to go shopping with her.
- Not a chance!
- Thanks boss, I knew I could count on you!


Employer says to his boss:
- You promised that you would give me a payrise if you were satisfied with my work.
- Of course, but how can I be satisfied when you want more money?

[Faceman]

Boss: So what is your idea of your salary
applicant: writes down a number
Boss: how would you like a company corvette, a 20y old secretary and 6 weeks paid vacation?
applicant: Are you kidding? [img]smile.gif[/img]
Boss: You started it

[Vaskez]

Did I ask for a bloody appendix?

[Faceman]

No you did not but if you insist.
[img]graemlins/gore.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/gore.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/gore.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/gore.gif[/img]
Now that's what I call bloody.

[Vaskez]

I'm the smartass around here, go and pick another job you imposter!

[WillowIX]

Originally posted by Vaskez: Did I ask for a bloody appendix?

LOL! That comment alone is more funny than your jokes above. [img]tongue.gif[/img] OK maybe not but I had to comment your grouchyness. All this from such a sweet, nice, young man. [img]graemlins/kissy2.gif[/img] *runs out of thread before Vaskez start to throw things at her*

[Vaskez]

Originally posted by WillowIX: quote: Originally posted by Vaskez: Did I ask for a bloody appendix?

LOL! That comment alone is more funny than your jokes above.
[/QUOTE]Damn it was supposed to be grouchy...

[img]tongue.gif[/img] OK maybe not

Oh!

but I had to comment your grouchyness. All this from such a sweet, nice, young man. [img]graemlins/kissy2.gif[/img] *runs out of thread before Vaskez start to throw things at her*

Of course I'm a sweet, nice, young man...I only put on my best side for you

BTW Willow, I always wondered 2 things:
1) Are you the 9th Willow in your family? If so, your family needs to go and learn some new names.
2) Why do you always say LLAO instead of LMAO? You laughing someone else's ass off instead of your own? If so, that's not very considerate of you!

[ 09-10-2003, 05:24 PM: Message edited by: Vaskez ]

[WillowIX]

Originally posted by Vaskez: BTW Willow, I always wondered 2 things: 1) Are you the 9th Willow in your family? If so, your family needs to go and learn some new names. 2) Why do you always say LLAO instead of LMAO? You laughing someone else's ass off instead of your own? If so, that's not very considerate of you!

1) No the numeric values comes from my cRPGs. I started using willow and then I added roman numbers afterwards as I progressed to new games. AFAIK I'm the only Willow in my family, my older sis is the only Dawn and my younger sis is the only Rose. One nature name for every las one of us.
2) I'm laughing Larry's behind off. It was in one of those threads after the ping pong disaster. Calthy posted something and Larry responded in a way that led to LLAO.

[Stormymystic]

lol, sorry I missed that one , but my bosses always loved me, I did everyones work, plus my own