09-10-2003, 01:20 PM | #1 |
Takhisis Follower
Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
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Boss says to his employee who arrives late:
- This is the 4th time this week that you are late! What conclusions can we draw from this...? - That it's thursday! - Smith, why are you so late? - Cos yesterday you told me to read the paper at home and not here! One employer says to another: - Your employees are always on time, how do you do it? - Simple trick: 30 employees, 20 parking spaces. - Don't think of me as your boss, think of me as a good friend who is always right. - As long as my boss acts like he is paying me a lot, I'm gonna act like I am working a lot. - We can't offer you a job, we have no work for you to do! - In theory, that doesn't bother me! The boss is mad at his secretary: - Who told you that you could just laze around because I kissed you a few times?! - My lawyer. - Why isn't Johnson doing anything this week? - He's standing in for the boss. - We're looking for someone who does all their work on time and is never sick. - Hire me, I'll help you look! Interviewer: - Ok you can start work on monday, pay is based on performance! Applicant: - I can't live on that! - Jones, I know your salary isn't enough to get married on. But believe me, one day you'll thank me for that! - Hey boss, can I go 2 hours early today? My wife wants me to go shopping with her. - Not a chance! - Thanks boss, I knew I could count on you! Employer says to his boss: - You promised that you would give me a payrise if you were satisfied with my work. - Of course, but how can I be satisfied when you want more money?
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Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray |
09-10-2003, 01:45 PM | #2 |
Hathor
Join Date: February 18, 2002
Location: Vienna
Age: 42
Posts: 2,248
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Boss: So what is your idea of your salary
applicant: writes down a number Boss: how would you like a company corvette, a 20y old secretary and 6 weeks paid vacation? applicant: Are you kidding? [img]smile.gif[/img] Boss: You started it
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\"I am forever spellbound by the frailty of life\"<br /><br /> Faceman |
09-10-2003, 02:11 PM | #3 |
Takhisis Follower
Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
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Did I ask for a bloody appendix?
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Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray |
09-10-2003, 02:18 PM | #4 |
Hathor
Join Date: February 18, 2002
Location: Vienna
Age: 42
Posts: 2,248
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No you did not but if you insist.
[img]graemlins/gore.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/gore.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/gore.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/gore.gif[/img] Now that's what I call bloody.
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\"I am forever spellbound by the frailty of life\"<br /><br /> Faceman |
09-10-2003, 02:23 PM | #5 |
Takhisis Follower
Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
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I'm the smartass around here, go and pick another job you imposter!
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09-10-2003, 02:33 PM | #6 | |
Apophis
Join Date: July 10, 2001
Location: By a big blue lake, Canada
Age: 50
Posts: 4,628
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Quote:
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Confuzzled by nature. |
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09-10-2003, 05:20 PM | #7 | |||
Takhisis Follower
Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
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Quote:
[/QUOTE]Damn it was supposed to be grouchy... Quote:
Quote:
BTW Willow, I always wondered 2 things: 1) Are you the 9th Willow in your family? If so, your family needs to go and learn some new names. 2) Why do you always say LLAO instead of LMAO? You laughing someone else's ass off instead of your own? If so, that's not very considerate of you! [ 09-10-2003, 05:24 PM: Message edited by: Vaskez ]
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Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray |
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09-10-2003, 05:29 PM | #8 | |
Apophis
Join Date: July 10, 2001
Location: By a big blue lake, Canada
Age: 50
Posts: 4,628
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Quote:
2) I'm laughing Larry's behind off. It was in one of those threads after the ping pong disaster. Calthy posted something and Larry responded in a way that led to LLAO.
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Confuzzled by nature. |
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09-10-2003, 06:41 PM | #9 |
Knight of the Rose
Join Date: April 8, 2003
Location: Arkansas
Age: 48
Posts: 4,442
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lol, sorry I missed that one , but my bosses always loved me, I did everyones work, plus my own
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