Perfectionism, Is it Inspiring or threatening ?

whacky · 10-31-2002, 04:44 AM

Yes i'm damn truthful while saying that i've always been a perfectionist, why i dont know but i intend to find by discussing with you people! Some say perfectionism is good some say it is bad, i cant say, perhaps you could help! It has given me everything i have to be proud on yet taken away everything that would've been comforting to me. It makes be a bit uneasy at times, sometimes proud, sometimes mean, selfish and angry, it has made me a slave to my performance. Sadly, these were the consequences, yet i have the honour of holding the record of acing every class for the previous 8 or so years, but do i get self-satisfaction, perhaps yes perhaps not? I might be the best nerd or the geek in the school, but i fail to understand why people feel uneasy while with me, has it hampered my social skills, i feel perhaps my soul and spirit are dying; i feel the need to feel yet sometimes i cant ... the arguments go on forever, what i need to ask is :
Are you a perfectionist, if so why if not then why not ?
What had it given you and what has it taken away ?
Is it a good thing or really really evil ?
Awaiting a healthy discussion or some good replies [img]smile.gif[/img]
-Whacky

[ 10-31-2002, 06:28 AM: Message edited by: whacky ]

Gammit · 10-31-2002, 08:38 AM

It all depends. I am a bit of a perfectionist, and it helps drive me to do a good job. On the flip side, however, my older brother and father are both BAD perfectionists. They constantly put down others thoughts and works, because it's not "good enough." I think most pefectionism comes from a lack of true self-confidence, and that perfectionists therefore not only hold others to their same "high standards," but they also are more willing to put down others ideas and creations to make themselves feel better. The moral? If you keep your perfectionism to yourself (lots and lots of humility), then it won't danger anybody. Unforunately, I find that few can accomplish this, and therefore most perfectionists come across as rude, impatient, sometimes egotistical, and un-supportive. Needless to say, that's a bad thing.

10-31-2002, 08:44 AM

Being a perfectionist is up to you, some people are some aren't the only time it matters to anyone else if you are, is when you go from being a perfectionist to being critical and judgemental about people who arent.
I have tried to adopt the philosophy that untill Im perfect I have no business trying to tell anyone else their work is sloppy...well except for at work, where it is my job to point out mistakes so that they may be corrected [img]smile.gif[/img]

Redblueflare · 10-31-2002, 08:47 AM

Yes I am a perfectionist but only when it comes to things i'm good at. When I write something I have to fix everything people complain about, otherwise i'll just throw it in the trash. Yes I care to much about what other people think.

Or when there's a fighting game i'm good at I *have* to win. [img]tongue.gif[/img] I don't know why either. Die Kirby die! 22 to 4 victory btw.

At school however I don't waste my time. At my school there were two insane girls (Kristin and Brittany) who *had* to have the highest grade in just about every class. I loved it when I got a higher grade on something than they did, because I would rub it in their faces. Even if it was by a single point. [img]smile.gif[/img] Btw I wanted to strangle them when they said something ridiculous like "I got an 89!" and whine about it all day. [img]graemlins/1pissed.gif[/img]

Is perfectionism an evil thing? I doubt it. Setting your standards so high can really drain the life out of you. Most perfectionists have been that way for so long they're used to it anyway. Nothing wrong with it I suppose, but if you get a B+ on a test and whine about it i'll shoot you.

J/k...

Paladin2000 · 10-31-2002, 08:59 AM

Even being perfectionist is considered good, having too much of it is definately not good. Once you went over the limit, it turned into a curse.

Some people will strive for perfection in certain areas but trying to outdo yourself endlessly is not a blessing and it might drives you a little crazy and irritates the people around you.

I am not a perfectionist but everything that I do, I always give it a 100% effort and leave the rest to fate and luck (and god, if he is paying attention at all).

[ 10-31-2002, 09:00 AM: Message edited by: Paladin2000 ]

Arnabas · 10-31-2002, 09:06 AM

I think there are times when being a perfectionist can be counter-productive. As a writer, I sometimes go back over my work multiple times to "perfect" it, but on occasion I will "perfect" it so much that it no longer resembles what I was originally trying to do.
I think it's great to hold yourself to high standards, but there are times when we must step back and say something is good enough as it is. The only time I really want someone to be a perfectionist is if their work has an impact on others. For example, a surgeon should be a perfectionist, as should an airline mechanic.

Gammit · 10-31-2002, 09:44 AM

Arnabas: I completely agree! I am a songwriter, and my perfectionism can get in the way. Something odd I've learned from sound engineers and producers in the recording studios I've been at: the first take (even with mistakes) is usually the keeper. The more you stare at your work, the more robotic and unemotional it becomes.

Arnabas · 10-31-2002, 09:56 AM

Absolutely. The first draft always contains the true emotion behind the work. I try to limit my editing to the necessary things, such as spelling errors, grammatical errors, etc.

whacky · 10-31-2002, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Arnabas:
Absolutely. The first draft always contains the true emotion behind the work. I try to limit my editing to the necessary things, such as spelling errors, grammatical errors, etc.

One golden rule to remember : Never let perfection get in the way of creativity.
Yeah i'm used to having the life drained out of me, but hey its fun. Though i'm not personally i think its really not that good to criticize someone blatantly [img]smile.gif[/img]
Oh and perfectionism towards others is not what i was talking of, What i meant was seeking perfection in our own selves. Thanks to some thinking i have just learnt a big lesson, how to get satisfaction out of life while maintaining a certain attitude of perfection in my own self. I've also learnt that one must make performance bend to his will rather than the other way round.
Hmm i wonder why only a few have commented on this topic [img]smile.gif[/img]
-Whacky

Calaethis Dragonsbane · 10-31-2002, 12:00 PM

*shrug* it depends what I'm doin, I tend to set "perfectionist" standards for myself on somethings, and constaly fall short, I guess I expect myself to get the impossible, and berate myself when I fall short. heh, I dont expect others to be perfect tho, or even myself; like I said, it depends on what I'm doin... lol, a good example is when I'm playing a game, and I have everything set almost to "perfection"; then teh stupid troops fall short of my standards, that really annoys the hell outa me, take Baldur's gate; its an ambush, and the AI kicks in and everyone rushes to the enemy and gets slaughtered... becoz I reloaded and forgot to turn off the AI... lol, or if I'm painting something or other for some obsure reason and it isnt "just right", that annoys me to. But only if I'm aiming for something. lol.

10-31-2002, 08:38 AM	#2
Gammit Elminster Join Date: October 26, 2001 Location: Sterling Heights, MI, USA Age: 46 Posts: 477	It all depends. I am a bit of a perfectionist, and it helps drive me to do a good job. On the flip side, however, my older brother and father are both BAD perfectionists. They constantly put down others thoughts and works, because it's not "good enough." I think most pefectionism comes from a lack of true self-confidence, and that perfectionists therefore not only hold others to their same "high standards," but they also are more willing to put down others ideas and creations to make themselves feel better. The moral? If you keep your perfectionism to yourself (lots and lots of humility), then it won't danger anybody. Unforunately, I find that few can accomplish this, and therefore most perfectionists come across as rude, impatient, sometimes egotistical, and un-supportive. Needless to say, that's a bad thing. __________________ IW resident science and mathematics teacher<br /><br />\"No, no, you\'re not thinking; you\'re just being logical.\"<br />-Niels Bohr

10-31-2002, 08:47 AM	#4
Redblueflare Galvatron Join Date: May 9, 2001 Location: The backwoods in Georgia sigh Age: 40 Posts: 2,151	Yes I am a perfectionist but only when it comes to things i'm good at. When I write something I have to fix everything people complain about, otherwise i'll just throw it in the trash. Yes I care to much about what other people think. Or when there's a fighting game i'm good at I have to win. [img]tongue.gif[/img] I don't know why either. Die Kirby die! 22 to 4 victory btw. At school however I don't waste my time. At my school there were two insane girls (Kristin and Brittany) who had to have the highest grade in just about every class. I loved it when I got a higher grade on something than they did, because I would rub it in their faces. Even if it was by a single point. [img]smile.gif[/img] Btw I wanted to strangle them when they said something ridiculous like "I got an 89!" and whine about it all day. [img]graemlins/1pissed.gif[/img] Is perfectionism an evil thing? I doubt it. Setting your standards so high can really drain the life out of you. Most perfectionists have been that way for so long they're used to it anyway. Nothing wrong with it I suppose, but if you get a B+ on a test and whine about it i'll shoot you. J/k... __________________ <br /><br />\"If you ever need me just whistle, and i\'ll come running. I promise. <img border=\"0\" title=\"\" alt=\"[Smile]\" src=\"smile.gif\" /> <br />Kupo, Kupo! A man can\'t get a sword if he can\'t dance! <img border=\"0\" title=\"\" alt=\"[Big Grin]\" src=\"biggrin.gif\" />

10-31-2002, 08:59 AM	#5
Paladin2000 Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: February 19, 2002 Location: Your guess is as good as mine. Age: 52 Posts: 1,728	Even being perfectionist is considered good, having too much of it is definately not good. Once you went over the limit, it turned into a curse. Some people will strive for perfection in certain areas but trying to outdo yourself endlessly is not a blessing and it might drives you a little crazy and irritates the people around you. I am not a perfectionist but everything that I do, I always give it a 100% effort and leave the rest to fate and luck (and god, if he is paying attention at all). [ 10-31-2002, 09:00 AM: Message edited by: Paladin2000 ] __________________ (This is an invisible sig.)

10-31-2002, 09:06 AM	#6
Arnabas Baaz Draconian Join Date: October 11, 2001 Location: Montreal,Quebec,Canada Age: 53 Posts: 721	I think there are times when being a perfectionist can be counter-productive. As a writer, I sometimes go back over my work multiple times to "perfect" it, but on occasion I will "perfect" it so much that it no longer resembles what I was originally trying to do. I think it's great to hold yourself to high standards, but there are times when we must step back and say something is good enough as it is. The only time I really want someone to be a perfectionist is if their work has an impact on others. For example, a surgeon should be a perfectionist, as should an airline mechanic. __________________ Est Sularis oth Mithas

10-31-2002, 09:44 AM	#7
Gammit Elminster Join Date: October 26, 2001 Location: Sterling Heights, MI, USA Age: 46 Posts: 477	Arnabas: I completely agree! I am a songwriter, and my perfectionism can get in the way. Something odd I've learned from sound engineers and producers in the recording studios I've been at: the first take (even with mistakes) is usually the keeper. The more you stare at your work, the more robotic and unemotional it becomes. __________________ IW resident science and mathematics teacher<br /><br />\"No, no, you\'re not thinking; you\'re just being logical.\"<br />-Niels Bohr

10-31-2002, 04:44 AM	#1
whacky Emerald Dragon Join Date: July 16, 2002 Location: The Abyss Age: 36 Posts: 904	Yes i'm damn truthful while saying that i've always been a perfectionist, why i dont know but i intend to find by discussing with you people! Some say perfectionism is good some say it is bad, i cant say, perhaps you could help! It has given me everything i have to be proud on yet taken away everything that would've been comforting to me. It makes be a bit uneasy at times, sometimes proud, sometimes mean, selfish and angry, it has made me a slave to my performance. Sadly, these were the consequences, yet i have the honour of holding the record of acing every class for the previous 8 or so years, but do i get self-satisfaction, perhaps yes perhaps not? I might be the best nerd or the geek in the school, but i fail to understand why people feel uneasy while with me, has it hampered my social skills, i feel perhaps my soul and spirit are dying; i feel the need to feel yet sometimes i cant ... the arguments go on forever, what i need to ask is : Are you a perfectionist, if so why if not then why not ? What had it given you and what has it taken away ? Is it a good thing or really really evil ? Awaiting a healthy discussion or some good replies [img]smile.gif[/img] -Whacky [ 10-31-2002, 06:28 AM: Message edited by: whacky ]

10-31-2002, 08:44 AM	#3
MagiK Guest Posts: n/a	Being a perfectionist is up to you, some people are some aren't the only time it matters to anyone else if you are, is when you go from being a perfectionist to being critical and judgemental about people who arent. I have tried to adopt the philosophy that untill Im perfect I have no business trying to tell anyone else their work is sloppy...well except for at work, where it is my job to point out mistakes so that they may be corrected [img]smile.gif[/img]

10-31-2002, 09:56 AM	#8
Arnabas Baaz Draconian Join Date: October 11, 2001 Location: Montreal,Quebec,Canada Age: 53 Posts: 721	Absolutely. The first draft always contains the true emotion behind the work. I try to limit my editing to the necessary things, such as spelling errors, grammatical errors, etc. __________________ Est Sularis oth Mithas

10-31-2002, 12:00 PM	#10
Calaethis Dragonsbane Legion Symbol Join Date: May 29, 2002 Location: Somewhere in between Age: 39 Posts: 7,029	shrug it depends what I'm doin, I tend to set "perfectionist" standards for myself on somethings, and constaly fall short, I guess I expect myself to get the impossible, and berate myself when I fall short. heh, I dont expect others to be perfect tho, or even myself; like I said, it depends on what I'm doin... lol, a good example is when I'm playing a game, and I have everything set almost to "perfection"; then teh stupid troops fall short of my standards, that really annoys the hell outa me, take Baldur's gate; its an ambush, and the AI kicks in and everyone rushes to the enemy and gets slaughtered... becoz I reloaded and forgot to turn off the AI... lol, or if I'm painting something or other for some obsure reason and it isnt "just right", that annoys me to. But only if I'm aiming for something. lol.

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