Should I get involved with this or...

[Jorath Calar]

Ugh, why can't life just be plain and simple...? Here is the latest batch of worried I have been delivered.
Yesterday I went to see my friend who I had not seen for some time. we talked for a while and had a few beers, and after awhile he asked me if he could confide in me. I said sure, and he told me that he was seeing a woman, who I knew, and not only that but this woman is our mutual friend's girlfriend... in other word, he is having an affair with one of his best (and mine) friends wife but said it was nothing serious. He had no idea what he was suppose to do because he loved her so much. And asked me if I could keep it quiet until he sorts things out... So... what am I to do, they are both my friends, I can either act like I know nothing, and betray one of them (I mean doesn't he deserve to know?), or go tell that one and betray the otherone, who confide in me cause he thinks I'm a good friend...
I could so easily freak out right now... I mean nothing good can possibly come out of this, anyone know of any desert islands that I could move to?

[andrewas]

Without knowing your friends or all the details, all I can say is honesty is usualy the safest way. Whatever you do, dont get caught out in a complicated lie. That way everyone loses. Best to persuade your friends to sort it out themselves, that way theres at least a chance of a happy ending for the majority of the parties.

You have to follow your own concience on this one. However [img]smile.gif[/img] I as usual have my own opinion on whatr I would do in this situation. I would give him a week to sort it out and at the end of that week if he had not done so, I would be forced to talk to the lady and explain to her how wrong it was to do this sort of thing.
In the end, it would depend on how good a friend I was willing to be. But the two people committing the act should be the ones to straighten it out.

[Avatar]

Girlfriend or wife.. not consistent.

[Arnabas]

My personal opinion is that I would tell the friend having the affair that he has to come clean or I would be forced to say something. I try to follow a certain code of conduct, which does not include lying and keeping secrets such as this. You may very well wind up losing a friend, but if that is the case, I'd rather lose the friend who had done wrong than the friend who is innocent.

[RudeDawg]

Jorath Calar,

The fact that this is bothering you says a good deal about you, and very favorable.

The truth sometimes is hard, but usually it is easy to see. The truth of this situation is that one of your friends has a very bad case of low character. He's a betrayer, of another friend, and he has decided to use you to soothe his conscience. Both of these actions are very low.

If he's done this to your friend, he may be tempted to do it to you.

Knowing that, realize this. You're going to lose one of these friends. Which one would you rather keep, the one you can trust, or the one you can't?

Re-read your sig.

"You gotta be one of the good guys, son: 'cause there's way to many of the bad" -John Custer

There ARE too many of the bad. Be one of the good. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Originally posted by RudeDawg: Jorath Calar, The fact that this is bothering you says a good deal about you, and very favorable. The truth sometimes is hard, but usually it is easy to see. The truth of this situation is that one of your friends has a very bad case of low character. He's a betrayer, of another friend, and he has decided to use you to soothe his conscience. Both of these actions are very low. If he's done this to your friend, he may be tempted to do it to you. Knowing that, realize this. You're going to lose one of these friends. Which one would you rather keep, the one you can trust, or the one you can't? Re-read your sig. quote: "You gotta be one of the good guys, son: 'cause there's way to many of the bad" -John Custer

There ARE too many of the bad. Be one of the good. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] [/QUOTE]
Dang Rudy [img]smile.gif[/img] you said what I wanted to say way better than I didn't say it

[johnny]

i don't think your friend (the one with the affair) is a person to be trusted. If he was he wouldn't do that to his friend. I personally would tell my friend he's being cheated. You could also confront the girlfriend first, let her know that you know and that if she won't come out the closet, you do it for her. After all, she's acting like a real bitch here if you ask me.

[Melusine]

I'd tell him to confess to your mutual friend or you'll do it. It's better if he does it, because it's stupid of him to have put you in this situation in the first place - and if you threaten to tell it yourself, he'll probably do it. So definitely try to force him to come clean to this friend. Just my 2c [img]smile.gif[/img]

well why doesn't he discuss it with the girl concerned?

does she want to continue like that?