11-02-2001, 05:54 AM | #1 |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
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The Secrets of the Language of Women: Keywords and
their meaning. 1. Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments. 2. Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade. 3. Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine." 4. Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine." 5. Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off. 6. Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing." 7. Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content. 8. Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them. 9. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble. 10. Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay." 11. Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome. 12. Thanks A Lot: This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing." |
11-02-2001, 07:48 AM | #2 |
20th Level Warrior
Join Date: September 6, 2001
Location: The lighter side of life, a.k.a. Newnan, Georgia
Age: 55
Posts: 2,767
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OMG!!!! *guilty blush*
*Breanna sulks off to a corner and says 'Oh, that's okay' while giving 250 "the Look"* ------------------ Alureth...Dragon friend of Breanna, Mage and Advisor in the Court of Lady Lioness Co-Owner/Operator of the Evil Petting Zoo and devout member of the HADB clan. Commander of the Dragon Fleet, IW Peacekeeping Force Sublime Sister of the Illuminati - may the Light shine forever! Second Historian and Scribe of IW. Mother Hen of IW. Mage extraordinair, Pin-Up Girl for the OLD-COOTS Magey-Wagey: performer in the Nekked Dancing Trio of the ORT. Hopeless Romantic *sigh* |
11-02-2001, 07:50 AM | #3 | |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
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Quote:
YAY!!! caught ya!!!! **Stops laughing** ok, ackkk, not funny, nope, not at all |
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11-02-2001, 10:29 AM | #4 |
Emerald Dragon
Join Date: October 8, 2001
Location: Georgia
Age: 54
Posts: 918
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I have some more from my own experience:
1. "Oh, no. Not again." That is when she discovers that you have been dancing with the kitties again, are wearing next to nothing, and have cheetos stuffed in your mouth while singing "I'm just a dwarf who can't say no" from the play called Oklahoma. 2. "You ate what?" That is when she discovers that it's 11:00 PM and all you've had to eat today was a Pop tart and washed it down with some beer. 3. "Are you an idiot?" That is when she catches me trying to dance with her 83 year old grandmother. Teaching her the "rump shaker" has been unsuccessful thus far. 4. "Hi, Honey" That means I did something wrong and nothing short of peeling grapes and rubbing her feet will absolve me from my sin. 5. "Are you really going to wear that?" That means that perhaps navy blue doesn't really go with lavender. I'm not gentically predisposed towards fashion. ------------------ "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." -Robert McCloskey
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11-02-2001, 10:33 AM | #5 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Dearest Hiram
Would that be rubbing her feet with or without the peeled grapes hmmmm? ------------------ ~Garnet FalconDance~
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11-02-2001, 10:36 AM | #6 |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
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LOL, you guys...
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11-02-2001, 10:40 AM | #7 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Two fittee, you seem completely obsessed with women and their troubles lately
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11-02-2001, 10:49 AM | #8 | |
20th Level Warrior
Join Date: September 6, 2001
Location: The lighter side of life, a.k.a. Newnan, Georgia
Age: 55
Posts: 2,767
|
Quote:
------------------ Alureth...Dragon friend of Breanna, Mage and Advisor in the Court of Lady Lioness Co-Owner/Operator of the Evil Petting Zoo and devout member of the HADB clan. Commander of the Dragon Fleet, IW Peacekeeping Force Sublime Sister of the Illuminati - may the Light shine forever! Second Historian and Scribe of IW. Mother Hen of IW. Mage extraordinair, Pin-Up Girl for the OLD-COOTS Magey-Wagey: performer in the Nekked Dancing Trio of the ORT. HopeFUL Romantic *sigh* [This message has been edited by DragonMage (edited 11-02-2001).] |
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11-02-2001, 10:50 AM | #9 | |
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11-02-2001, 10:52 AM | #10 | |
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