For the guys - guide to understanding women

J'aran · 03-01-2002, 09:56 AM

Words women use:

FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.

NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don’t care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT’S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That’s Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That’s Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a "That’s Okay".

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say "you’re welcome".

THANKS A LOT
This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

Black Dragon · 03-01-2002, 10:49 AM

Now it all makes sense to me!!

Glorfindel · 03-01-2002, 06:20 PM

[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] I liked that alot.... and the funniest thing is that most of them can be true [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

Galadria · 03-01-2002, 06:28 PM

Hmmmph. My hubby solved it long ago. He just says "Yes, dear," a lot.

khazadman · 03-01-2002, 08:49 PM

they all apply to my ex-wife except #2.she was the only woman i knew who would be ready in five minutes if she said thats how long she needed.

[ 03-01-2002: Message edited by: khazadman ]

Azred · 03-01-2002, 09:28 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Galadria:
Hmmmph. My hubby solved it long ago. He just says "Yes, dear," a lot.

I must have gone to the university that he did, because I learned the same lesson. [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

Azred looks around just to make sure his girlfriend isn't in the room.... [img]graemlins/petard.gif[/img]

03-01-2002, 06:28 PM	#4
Galadria 20th Level Warrior Join Date: November 3, 2001 Location: Texas Age: 54 Posts: 2,830	Hmmmph. My hubby solved it long ago. He just says "Yes, dear," a lot. __________________ Lady Galadria,Goddess\' Equal of the O.R.T.; [img]\"http://havak.db-forge.com/portraits/bitmaps/wlf180L.bmp\" alt=\" - \" /><br />\"Romance at short notice was her specialty.\" - Saki <br />Founder of the IW Branch of the Anti-Anomen Society

03-01-2002, 09:28 PM	#6
Azred Drow Priestess Join Date: March 13, 2001 Location: a hidden sanctorum high above the metroplex Age: 54 Posts: 4,037	quote: Originally posted by Galadria: Hmmmph. My hubby solved it long ago. He just says "Yes, dear," a lot. I must have gone to the university that he did, because I learned the same lesson. [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] Azred looks around just to make sure his girlfriend isn't in the room.... [img]graemlins/petard.gif[/img] __________________ Everything may be explained by a conspiracy theory. All conspiracy theories are true. No matter how thinly you slice it, it's still bologna.

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03-01-2002, 09:56 AM	#1
J'aran Mephistopheles Join Date: December 12, 2001 Location: Fryslân, The Netherlands Age: 44 Posts: 1,493	Words women use: FINE This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments. FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade. NOTHING This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine". GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine". GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don’t care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off. LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing". SOFT SIGH Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content. THAT’S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That’s Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That’s Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble. PLEASE DO This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a "That’s Okay". THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say "you’re welcome". THANKS A LOT This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

03-01-2002, 10:49 AM	#2
Black Dragon Zhentarim Guard Join Date: November 11, 2001 Location: Virginia Age: 37 Posts: 352	Now it all makes sense to me!! __________________ Black owns!<br />Dragons rule!!<br /> [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/blackdragonpic.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br /> <b>If the media decided that breathing wasn\'t \"cool\" anymore, half the teenage population would be gone.</b> --Someguy

03-01-2002, 06:20 PM	#3
Glorfindel Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: January 9, 2002 Location: Mt. Gambier, Australia Age: 36 Posts: 3,337	[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] I liked that alot.... and the funniest thing is that most of them can be true [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

03-01-2002, 08:49 PM	#5
khazadman User suspended until [Feb13] Join Date: December 6, 2001 Location: the south side of ol virginny Age: 62 Posts: 1,172	they all apply to my ex-wife except #2.she was the only woman i knew who would be ready in five minutes if she said thats how long she needed. [ 03-01-2002: Message edited by: khazadman ]

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