Tee Hee

Staralfur · 02-25-2002, 07:18 PM

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.

He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realises that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.

Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.

Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about," says the caretaker.

"He's just decomposing"

and another....

A group of legionnaires strode through the scorching desert. They hadn't had water for three days and hadn't eaten for a week but they did not crack, they kept marching solidly on.

Suddenly one of them froze, " Psssst " said he. His companions halted, and strained their eyes to where the first legionnaire was pointing.

" Le voila ", said he, " Regardez, mes amis, isn't zat a bacon tree on ze 'orizon "?.

And sure enough, there it stood, proudly and defiant in the middle of the dessert, a true bacon tree. Slowly they crept forward towards the mystery object far off. Inch by inch, centimetre by centimetre, until they were within a stone's throw of the bacon tree.

Ever nearer they crept, and suddenly, a shot rang out, dropping one of the legionnaires in his tracks. The other legionnaires hit the ground as bullets thudded into the sand around them. The other two returned fire, and gave first aid to their wounded companion.

Even as they bandaged him, and poured water over his face, they could hear his faint voice: " Zat was no bacon tree, " he gasped, " Zat was an 'am bush."

[ 02-26-2002: Message edited by: Staralfur ]

Scholarcs · 02-25-2002, 10:50 PM

hey pretty cool jokes Staralfur, but the fond colour is a bit hard to read!

Lioness · 02-27-2002, 07:59 AM

LMAO!!! "biglaugh:

02-25-2002, 07:18 PM	#1
Staralfur Baaz Draconian Join Date: April 8, 2001 Location: Nottingham, UK Age: 44 Posts: 786	A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realises that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Oh, it's nothing to worry about," says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing" and another.... A group of legionnaires strode through the scorching desert. They hadn't had water for three days and hadn't eaten for a week but they did not crack, they kept marching solidly on. Suddenly one of them froze, " Psssst " said he. His companions halted, and strained their eyes to where the first legionnaire was pointing. " Le voila ", said he, " Regardez, mes amis, isn't zat a bacon tree on ze 'orizon "?. And sure enough, there it stood, proudly and defiant in the middle of the dessert, a true bacon tree. Slowly they crept forward towards the mystery object far off. Inch by inch, centimetre by centimetre, until they were within a stone's throw of the bacon tree. Ever nearer they crept, and suddenly, a shot rang out, dropping one of the legionnaires in his tracks. The other legionnaires hit the ground as bullets thudded into the sand around them. The other two returned fire, and gave first aid to their wounded companion. Even as they bandaged him, and poured water over his face, they could hear his faint voice: " Zat was no bacon tree, " he gasped, " Zat was an 'am bush." [ 02-26-2002: Message edited by: Staralfur ] __________________ We\'ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.\"<br />Robert Wilensky <br /><br />\"Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?\" <br />Screaming Lord Sutch<br /><br />If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

02-25-2002, 10:50 PM	#2
Scholarcs Red Dragon Join Date: December 5, 2001 Location: Auckland, New Zealand Age: 38 Posts: 1,557	hey pretty cool jokes Staralfur, but the fond colour is a bit hard to read! __________________ <br />\"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five\" - Groucho Marx<br />Member of the ORT Clan. <br />\"Some birds are not meant to be caged because their feathers are too bright\"<br />Ma bouche sera la bouche des malheurs qui n\'ont point de bouche, ma voix, la liberté de celles qui s\'affaissent au cachot du désespoir. - Aimé Césaire<br />La plus perdue de toutes les journées est celle où l\'on n\'a pas ri. - Sébastien Roch Nicolas

02-27-2002, 07:59 AM	#3
Lioness Jack Burton Join Date: June 3, 2001 Location: Among the Stars Age: 36 Posts: 5,837	LMAO!!! "biglaugh: __________________ [img]\"ubb/noncgi/smiles/lioness1.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /> <br /><br />Premier Waitress/Smacker of Cloudy\'s Cafe<br /><br />\"the only people for me are the mad ones...\"

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