Stella Awards

[Mack_Attack]

This in from a co-worker. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Stella Awards
The Stellas are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired
the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in
theUnited States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating
McDonald's, the teens who allege that eating at McDonald's has made them
fat, was filed after the 2004 award voting was closed. This suit will
top the 2004 awards list without question.

THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO:

5th place (Tied).
Kathleen Robertson ofAustin,Texaswas awarded $780,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms.
Robertson's Son.

5th place (Tied). +
19 year old Carl Truman ofLos Angeleswon $74,000 and medical expenses
when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.Truman
apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place (Tied).
Terrence Dickson ofBristol,Pennsylvaniawas leaving a house he had just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage
door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr.
Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a
case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental
anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th place.
Jerry Williams ofLittle Rock,Arkansaswas awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The
award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been
a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the
fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place.
APhiladelphiarestaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
ofLancaster,Pennsylvania$113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and
broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an
argument.

2nd place.
Kara Walton ofClaymont,Delawaresued the owner of a Night Club in a
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and
knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was
trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the
$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place.
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski ofOklahoma
City,Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motorhome.
On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the
freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not
surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mr.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual
that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus
a new Winnebago Motorhome. The company actually changed their manuals on
the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons
buying their recreational vehicles.

[Bozos of Bones]

I am really really sorry to ruin the fun, but Snopes doesn't agree.
Still nice.

[Mack_Attack]

I think snopes is the hoax. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]