Whats your point of view?

[shadowhound]

A lot of people (and I mean a lot) have told me that I am selfish, to which my reply is usually, "I am just looking out for number one."

What I want to know is if point of view is shared by a majority or am I just odd?

[Stratos]

Originally posted by shadowhound: "I am just looking out for number one."

Thanks for looking out for me.

[Stratos]

On a more serious note, I always figured your 'selfishness' was just an image thing. No offense meant, but I've gotten the impression it's just something you've slapped on to appear darker and cooler.

As for helping others, people are more inclined to help you if you're willing to do the same for them. The lonely wolf image is a fairly strange one if you think about it; for most of mankinds history, people have survived by cooperating and not going alone. A lone person would be very vurnerable, but I suppose our individualistic society have turned it upside down, where a loner is regarded as strong when he (because it's always a he) can survive on his own.

[ 10-12-2004, 09:56 AM: Message edited by: Stratos ]

[Arledrian]

Personally, I think you're just fine in being that way. I'm the same way, I'm introvert and as a result, have grown up to be pretty self-absorbed because I've only ever had myself to worry about, which others interpret as selfishness. You absolutely do have to sort yourself out above all else though, because at the end of the day, you're all you've got, and being too nice and giving in life can very often shaft you up the rear end. So I don't think there's anything wrong with you being the way you are, Shadowhound. Others may not always like it, but at least you know you're self-reliant and can manage just fine with or without them.

[Jaradu]

Whoa, I couldn't agree more with every single word you just said, Arledrian. [img]smile.gif[/img]

I would probably be willing to risk something of mine every now and again to help the greater good. After all, I strive for justice and righteousness . For example, I would crawl into a battlefield in an attempt to drag back a fallen comrade. However, I'm also an introvert and don't really involve myself with many other people, so there isn't really a lot of opportunity to help.

[aleph_null1]

Originally posted by Arledrian: Personally, I think you're just fine in being that way. I'm the same way, I'm introvert and as a result, have grown up to be pretty self-absorbed because I've only ever had myself to worry about, which others interpret as selfishness. You absolutely do have to sort yourself out above all else though, because at the end of the day, you're all you've got, and being too nice and giving in life can very often shaft you up the rear end. So I don't think there's anything wrong with you being the way you are, Shadowhound. Others may not always like it, but at least you know you're self-reliant and can manage just fine with or without them.

Wow... you've just depressed the living < f-bomb > out of me.

How's life in any way worth living in this way? I mean, I'm a pretty solidly introverted guy myself, but from what do you derive pleasure in this life if not other people? How do you ever maintain a real, lasting relationship with this attitude?

[Arledrian]

How is my post depressing, Aleph?

I generally don't derive happiness from other people, that's all. I can amuse myself perfectly well for the most part. I find it wholly unhealthy to have to depend on others to feel loved or appreciated. When you ask people what's bothering them most in life, rarely will you hear "my job" or "my school" - it's nearly always "my girlfriend" or "my best friend" or what have you - personal relationships. If you're basically only concerned with your own life, you save yourself a load of headaches and other completely unwanted rubbish that others invariably dump onto you. At one point, I had a load of friends, and it always seemed like they would come to me and say "Alex can I borrow twenty bucks?" or "Alex man, my girlfriend's just dumped me, I gotta talk to you" - whereas I would deal with all my own problems myself. So I got a bummy deal a lot of the time and from that point on decided to lead what others might call a "selfish" life. I never want children, either. Some may see me as a weirdo, but I just see myself as a strong individual.

I do have a laugh with my family and a few close friends, as well as the girl I'm seeing, and appreciate having all of them in my life. I will still keep my own best interests at number one, though. It's quite possible to maintain healthy relationships while looking out for yourself, you just have to know when to draw the line and not give too much. Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean it's not a perfectly okay way to live.

[Melusine]

Many people go through a phase like that at some point in their youth, I think. It's silly to deny the part that other people play in your own wellbeing. The EXTENT to which they make or break your happiness is what's important - I fully agree that relying too much on others gets you hurt a lot of the times. But I also think most people living according to your philosophy do so out of fear or denial or I don't know what. Saying you don't derive happiness from other people sounds stupid as well as unrealistic to me, and I'm not saying that because I "don't understand it", I say it because I do understand it. Every serious relationship that you have in your life and that gives you happiness, automatically entails a risk of losing that happiness. And that is really frightening. But it's something you can accept as a fact of life, and be brave enough to throw yourself into it and see where it will take you. It might lead to you getting hurt very badly at some point, but it also enables you to enjoy the good parts fully and thoroughly.
That's my opinion, BTW, not an attack on you personally, as I hope you knew. [img]smile.gif[/img]
I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself for long periods of time, too, (GET that mind out of the gutter!) and I don't absolutely need to be around people all the time to get the recognition and feedback I need to be happy. I like being on my own, and I prefer having a few close friends that I have a real bond with over a large group of semi-friends... but still I think I do rely on other people as well as on myself when it comes to being happy, and would find it silly if I were to deny that. There is no way for most people to be totally self-sufficient, emotionally speaking. Otherwise they wouldn't mind being made hermits and recluses in the least.

[ 10-12-2004, 02:49 PM: Message edited by: Melusine ]

[Arledrian]

Well, I did say that I get something out of the personal relationships with the people I mentioned, I'm not totally naiive. It's not some mark of youth either, since I'm hardly a geeky, suicidal teenage recluse. It's not a crime to prefer your own company and be somewhat withdrawn as a result of experiences in the past and your own personality as a whole. I just honestly don't rely on others as much as most people do, that's all. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Melusine]

I didn't say it was a crime, did I? Neither did I call you a geeky suicidal recluse and I don't think your philosophy is necessarily indicative of that personality type.
And I already mentioned I like being alone from time to time and am not really a large group person. I just disagree that other people aren't important, or that it's always best to put yourself first in every situation.

[ 10-12-2004, 03:16 PM: Message edited by: Melusine ]