Things you learn from movies

[ZFR]

These are things which you would never have learned were it not for the movies:

- All telephone numbers in America beginn with the digits 555.

- The ventilation system of any buildingg is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

- A man will show no pain while taking tthe most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

- Kitchens don't have light switches. Whhen entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

- Cars that crash will almost always burrst into flames.

- Wearing a vest or stripping to the waiist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.

- If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.

- Any person waking from a nightmare willl sit bolt upright and pant.

- A cough is usually the sign of a termiinal illness.

- All bombs are fitted with electronic ttiming devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

- When in love, it is customary to burst into song.

- When confronted by an evil internationnal terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.

- One man shooting at 20 men has a betteer chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.

- Creepy music coming from a cemetery shhould always be investigated more closely.

- If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.

- Most laptop computers are powerful enoough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

- Freelance helicopter pilots are alwayss eager to accept bookings from international terrorist organizations - even though the job will require them to shoot total strangers and will end in their own certain death as the helicopter explodes in a ball of flames.

- Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.

- All computer disks will work in all coomputers, regardless of software.

- Police Departments give their officerss personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

- Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by their actions.

- You can always find a chain saw when yyou need one.

- Any lock can be picked by a credit carrd or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

- You can tell if somebody is British beecause they will be wearing a bow tie.

- When driving a car it is normal to loook not at the road but at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey.

- An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.

- Having a job of any kind will make father's forget their son's eighth birthday.

- Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

- If you are blonde and pretty, it is poossible to become a world expert in Nuclear Fission at age 22.

- The more a man and a woman hate each oother, the more likely they will fall in love.

[Lord]

hahaha those were hilarious. This was my favorite one:

"A man will show no pain while taking tthe most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. "

[DrowArchmage]

That reminds me of one time at band camp..........

[Kakero]

And " Ancient prophecies always come true "

[Iron Greasel]

Also there's air in space. And pretty dense air, judging by the size of those laser beams. Also also, sound travels faster than light. Also also also, light travels faster than light.

[Sigmar]

"GO, RUN, GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!"

True words of wisdom.

[Sir Goulum]

Originally posted by ZFR: - One man shooting at 20 men has a betteer chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.

Hehe... it's so true. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[burnzey boi]

hehe iron, love your pic. best game to come out lol. ZFR, those movies, are they directed at american ones?

[Q'alooaith]

The evil horrible twisted mutant that used to be your best friend who got brainwashed and now fights for the bad guys, will suddenly remember who are are and save the day.

[DrowArchmage]

Originally posted by Sir Goulum: quote: Originally posted by ZFR: - One man shooting at 20 men has a betteer chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.

Hehe... it's so true. [img]tongue.gif[/img] [/QUOTE]especially about cops! some of them could be standing right in front of you and miss!