Friends x (help!)

[RevRuby]

kind of off topic- some friends of mine and i had a real big kinda funny situation. my best friend in highschool (male, named dan) was dating another friend of mine. this other friend of mine (female, named anne) wanted anythign i had. so when i experimented with girls, she wanted me! so she broke up with him for me, and discovered that altho she had me, she stillw anted him! so she went back to him. years later i wanted a guy named terry, so anne wanted him. she got him. then when she was preggo with his kid she broke up with him and went for a guy named john. so when i was free of a relationship terry and i hung out a lot! now terry and anne are together again and he won;t tell her that anything went on between us because he doesn't want her mad. i don;t see how she could be since she was the one who left him and started doing another guy...silly ppl!

[ 02-27-2003, 09:45 AM: Message edited by: RevRuby ]

[LordKathen]

Originally posted by Bungleau: And LK, it sounds like your friend is no real friend at all. If your ex had to tell you they were going out, it smells to me like he was either afraid of telling you, ashamed of telling you, or just didn't care what you thought. Hopefully, the answer lies in your friend's immaturity and inability to see how his actions would direct the future. Okay, I hope this ol' flame suit is up to it

It happened real fast. Like all in one day. She got to me first. He showed up that night to tell me they kissed, and talk to me about it. He is quite respectfull to my feelings. Like I said, we are still best friends.
By the way. Memnoch has a good point. I would not have stoped them getting together ultimatly if they were happy. I am a big boy and would have gotten over it. That is why I told him it was cool to begin with. The only lie, was my feelings about it. I told him it was ok in anapathetic way. I was probly lying to myself more than him. If sylent is mature enough to get over to, and his friend and x are happy together, than by all means, let nature take its course.

[LordKathen]

Originally posted by RevRuby: kind of off topic- some friends of mine and i had a real big kinda funny situation. my best friend in highschool (male, named dan) was dating another friend of mine. this other friend of mine (female, named anne) wanted anythign i had. so when i experimented with girls, she wanted me! so she broke up with him for me, and discovered that altho she had me, she stillw anted him! so she went back to him. years later i wanted a guy named terry, so anne wanted him. she got him. then when she was preggo with his kid she broke up with him and went for a guy named john. so when i was free of a relationship terry and i hung out a lot! now terry and anne are together again and he won;t tell her that anything went on between us because he doesn't want her mad. i don;t see how she could be since she was the one who left him and started doing another guy...silly ppl!

[img]graemlins/saywhat.gif[/img] WOW.....*walks away scratching his head*

[Bungleau]

And I'll back down off my high horse for a while. Sometimes I wonder who the guy is at the other end of the keyboard. [img]smile.gif[/img]

There are always three sides to a story -- his, hers, and the truth. Honesty and integrity are the only real ways to handle situations and move forward, so if they're there, life will be good. If they're not, life will be a challenge, to say the least.

Any offense taken is hereby returned or discarded, and any handed out will be gladly taken back.

[LordKathen]

OK, I am calling back my gibbies. j/k...All is good. You had a good point, just wrong situation.

BTW, you can see who I am. Just clik the link at bottom.

[ 02-27-2003, 10:37 AM: Message edited by: LordKathen ]

[Timber Loftis]

Very good posts. If it's one of my *best* friends, it's off limits. Any girl they've been serious about = no way. Now, we've shared girls that were just "fun girls" if you know what I mean. Sex and actual emotional attachment are two related but separate issues.

In case it wasn't otherwise answered, "snogging" is what is sometimes called "flinging." It comes between kissing and shagging. Second and Third base in Meatloaf terminology.

[Talthyr Malkaviel]

Originally posted by Timber Loftis: Very good posts. If it's one of my *best* friends, it's off limits. Any girl they've been serious about = no way. Now, we've shared girls that were just "fun girls" if you know what I mean. Sex and actual emotional attachment are two related but separate issues. In case it wasn't otherwise answered, "snogging" is what is sometimes called "flinging." It comes between kissing and shagging. Second and Third base in Meatloaf terminology.

Well, at least the part I come from Snogging means merely kissing, usually that of the French variety.

[Timber Loftis]

Oh, sorry. Must be that the cute little Londoner who taught me these terms was a bit of a "bad girl."

[Gammit]

This happened to me once, when my friend went after my ex. It bummed me out a bit that he did so, but I harbored no ill feelings for one main reason: he asked me how I felt about it before doing anything. After that, I never really got upset, as I had my chance to tell him no.

[sylent]

Thanks everyone for your responses [img]smile.gif[/img]
When I posted this, I had already told *her* that I needed some space to sort out some issues, and that I really needed to sort out what was going on with my other mate. She understood, and said she felt that might have been a problem for me. The thing was, another girl was trying to set us up, so things moved along a lot faster than we were expecting all of a sudden.
It wasn't fun telling her this, and perhaps I should have spoken to my mate about it before I spilled the beans, but I try to be a loyal friend and I would hate to jeopardise a good friendship. I guess this sort of thing just makes you wonder where your priorities lie, and where they should lie. What LK said is pretty much what I was thinkning my friend would be faced with. While honesty is a great thing it can often be hurtful, and a white lie is probably a much easier option than confrontation. I understand this, and keeping this in mind I don't know if I'd be able to take my friends word. I'd be looking to double check.
But... It sure would be a shame, I know I was pretty upset about having to end things before they started, and I know I wasn't the only one. I think I have to speak to my friend about it, if nothing else so he hears it from me first and not by word of mouth (gossip). My friends are all pretty close, and if a rift started to open, things could turn from bad to worse in no time at all.

Its all pretty confusing and I guess if I have to make decisions based on what I feel at the time and what feels right to me.

I also thought about what Bungleau said, about games being played. I'd really hope it wasn't that, but I have unfortunately seen it happen before. There's some seriously wierd circles occuring - the girl who tried to set us up is also my friends ex girlfriend and she went out with another of my friends to make him jealous. (if that makes sense)
All this makes me think I should just stay out of it!
Sorry about not using names, some of my friends have been known to frequent these forums, and I don't want to stir up more trouble than its worth.

Anyway, I'm done ranting [img]smile.gif[/img]
Thanks so much everyone for replying, it really means a lot to me to hear peoples experiences and ideas. I think I know what I'm going to do now, and the thoughts aired in this thread have helped me to shape my own feelings about the situation.

Thanks a bunch

[ 02-27-2003, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: sylent ]