Flirting

Ê†ë®Ñï†Ý · 05-26-2002, 02:50 PM

Just wondering what you guys deem as flirting...

eye contact? Being very interested in what the other person is saying? laughing at their jokes? Brushing up against someone? Smiling a lot?

And do you think it's ok to flirt lightly if you're with someone?

Is flirtation useful in getting to know someone else?

I for one don't mean to flirt but apparently I act too interested in what people have to say and smile too much

Larry_OHF · 05-26-2002, 03:08 PM

Flirtation is in perspective of the person judging at the time, and is bad or good, depending on if one is married or in another binding relationship.

For a person to be over-friendly, and seeks to know everyone...to intraverts that could be seen as flirting, but to an extrovert...it is normal. Some people like to keep things to themselves and stay rather quiet. Some people are shy. When another comes along that is opposite of that, it could be deemed as flirtatious. Flirting is harmless as long as it does not get one of the two into trouble. If a girl was being flirtatious, then the man's wife found out...it could be trouble for the man...because there is a question..."was that flirt leading to other more personal matters or was it only conversation?" It is hard to tell. If a girl flirts to a guy that misreads it as "coming onto him", then she may be in trouble, and I hope she can run very fast.

So, flirtation in my opinion is harmless, if it is not trying to lead a husband/wife away from their spouse...and is harmless unless it gets the flirter into trouble when missunderstood to be a "come on".

I will gladly try to rephrase my above opinion if it is not clear in what I am expressing.

[ 05-26-2002, 03:10 PM: Message edited by: Larry_OHF ]

Epona · 05-26-2002, 03:11 PM

Blimey Eternity, what are you supposed to do - look bored and sulky? Interested and smiling is just being good company [img]smile.gif[/img]

Flirting is IMO a bit more than that - being a bit provocative, touching your 'prey' (LOL) while talking to them, adding innuendo to the conversation, that sort of thing. And yes, I am an old flirt. No apology.

EDIT: Larry, just saw your post, very good explanation!

[ 05-26-2002, 03:12 PM: Message edited by: Epona ]

Ê†ë®Ñï†Ý · 05-26-2002, 03:18 PM

That's an extremely well balanced and well thought out explanation Larry [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] Do you think that a guy has a "right" to then try and force a girl given that he thinks she's been leading him on?

Is it not then wrong for someone to flirt with a person. Have that person become infatuated with the flirter then flirt with other people and break said person's heart?

Beaumanoir · 05-26-2002, 03:22 PM

Well I'm Being Very Good And Sticking To The Rules Quite Well Since I Got A Girlfriend And My Flirting Has Cut By 75%. But Before That I Actually Very Nearly Won An Award For The Biggest Flirt At Our Show (Backstage).

Larry_OHF · 05-26-2002, 03:25 PM

Flirting, in it's pure form, is not deserving of the bad reputation it has. The guy that got his heart broken is the one with the problem. He tried to hope that the girl was wanting him...but a girl is not making commitments...that is just her way of conversation and enjoyment. Now, if the girl intentionally tried to make the guy fall in love so taht she could dump him hard,,,that is not right, but for the most part...girls don't waste their time with such silliness.
Again I say, the girl is not at fault if she is thought to be leading a man on. The guy is the one at fault for being so arrogant as to think that.
Guys flirt too. I flirt at work, but everybody knows what level I am at. Everyoine knows my happy family situation and my personality, and no girl has ever been offened. They most likely flirt back or just enjoy the attention at work, where stress levels could use some relief.

Ê†ë®Ñï†Ý · 05-26-2002, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Epona:
Blimey Eternity, what are you supposed to do - look bored and sulky? Interested and smiling is just being good company [img]smile.gif[/img]

Dunno, think this friend's rather paranoid. Her ex used to work in this record store and I went in with her one day. I smiled hello and proceeded to check out the records. After we went outside she said to me, "you were flirting with him weren't you?! I saw it!" and I was like, "what?! I spent the whole time checking out records and smiled ONCE!" she pouted and sulked and mumbled something about my smile being bad enough [img]graemlins/1ponder.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/uhoh2.gif[/img] that said. Her ex was awful anyway! Pinched my butt on her b-day! [img]graemlins/1puke.gif[/img]

Quote:

Originally posted by Epona:

Flirting is IMO a bit more than that - being a bit provocative, touching your 'prey' (LOL) while talking to them, adding innuendo to the conversation, that sort of thing. And yes, I am an old flirt. No apology.

Do you think what we wear is also included in the whole flirting thing? ~chuckles~ well, you seem well versed in this art... maybe you could give me lessons

Attalus · 05-26-2002, 03:33 PM

To me, flirting is not just eye contact and humorous conversation. It should contain at least some suggestion that, if circumstances were otherwise, something might happen, such as touching, innuendo, body language. To me banter and friendly conversation do not constitute flirting. I don't think that I understand the part about:

"Do you think that a guy has a "right" to then try and force a girl given that he thinks she's been leading him on?

Is it not then wrong for someone to flirt with a person. Have that person become infatuated with the flirter then flirt with other people and break said person's heart?"

I don't think any man, and certainly no gentleman, has the "right" to force a woman to do anything. His opinions count for exactly zero. Also, I really don't think that anyone's heart can be broken just by flirting. Men (me included) are quite capable of falling head over heels over a woman on no encouragement at all, I and I do not feel that the woman has any guilt in the matter, unless she had clearly led him on. So, Eternity, I have seen some of your posts and do feel that you are flirtacious, but I have not seen anything you need to feel guilty about. Certainly not to allow any man to 'force"you to do anything that you dont want to do.

Epona · 05-26-2002, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ê†ë®Ñï†Ý:
Do you think what we wear is also included in the whole flirting thing? ~chuckles~ well, you seem well versed in this art... maybe you could give me lessons

Mmmmmm, I don't really do the whole dressing up thing myself, I pretty much always dress casual. I think it's more about how you act really, although of course wearing a skirt that's little more than a wide belt would undoubtedly get you some attention! But flirting isn't about what you wear IMO.

Lessons? Blimey, you make it sound as if I'm a pro. I don't see anything wrong with a little harmless flirting, and it's more or less essential if you're out on the pull

[ 05-26-2002, 03:37 PM: Message edited by: Epona ]

Link · 05-26-2002, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Larry_OHF:
Flirtation is in perspective of the person judging at the time, and is bad or good, depending on if one is married or in another binding relationship.

For a person to be over-friendly, and seeks to know everyone...to intraverts that could be seen as flirting, but to an extrovert...it is normal. Some people like to keep things to themselves and stay rather quiet. Some people are shy. When another comes along that is opposite of that, it could be deemed as flirtatious. Flirting is harmless as long as it does not get one of the two into trouble. If a girl was being flirtatious, then the man's wife found out...it could be trouble for the man...because there is a question..."was that flirt leading to other more personal matters or was it only conversation?" It is hard to tell. If a girl flirts to a guy that misreads it as "coming onto him", then she may be in trouble, and I hope she can run very fast.

So, flirtation in my opinion is harmless, if it is not trying to lead a husband/wife away from their spouse...and is harmless unless it gets the flirter into trouble when missunderstood to be a "come on".

I will gladly try to rephrase my above opinion if it is not clear in what I am expressing.

Well... I'm stunned.. What a psychological answer! I was gonna post: "eye contact".. but this.. this just takes the words right outta my mouth

05-26-2002, 02:50 PM	#1
Ê†ë®Ñï†Ý Zhentarim Guard Join Date: January 7, 2002 Location: Oxford Age: 40 Posts: 307	Just wondering what you guys deem as flirting... eye contact? Being very interested in what the other person is saying? laughing at their jokes? Brushing up against someone? Smiling a lot? And do you think it's ok to flirt lightly if you're with someone? Is flirtation useful in getting to know someone else? I for one don't mean to flirt but apparently I act too interested in what people have to say and smile too much __________________ ~blows kisses around~<br />♥~¤Ê†ë®Ñï†Ý¤~♥<br /><br /><b>vulnerable... yet tempted </b><br />

05-26-2002, 03:08 PM	#2
Larry_OHF Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Midlands, South Carolina Age: 48 Posts: 14,759	Flirtation is in perspective of the person judging at the time, and is bad or good, depending on if one is married or in another binding relationship. For a person to be over-friendly, and seeks to know everyone...to intraverts that could be seen as flirting, but to an extrovert...it is normal. Some people like to keep things to themselves and stay rather quiet. Some people are shy. When another comes along that is opposite of that, it could be deemed as flirtatious. Flirting is harmless as long as it does not get one of the two into trouble. If a girl was being flirtatious, then the man's wife found out...it could be trouble for the man...because there is a question..."was that flirt leading to other more personal matters or was it only conversation?" It is hard to tell. If a girl flirts to a guy that misreads it as "coming onto him", then she may be in trouble, and I hope she can run very fast. So, flirtation in my opinion is harmless, if it is not trying to lead a husband/wife away from their spouse...and is harmless unless it gets the flirter into trouble when missunderstood to be a "come on". I will gladly try to rephrase my above opinion if it is not clear in what I am expressing. [ 05-26-2002, 03:10 PM: Message edited by: Larry_OHF ] __________________

05-26-2002, 03:11 PM	#3
Epona Zartan Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: London, England Age: 53 Posts: 5,164	Blimey Eternity, what are you supposed to do - look bored and sulky? Interested and smiling is just being good company [img]smile.gif[/img] Flirting is IMO a bit more than that - being a bit provocative, touching your 'prey' (LOL) while talking to them, adding innuendo to the conversation, that sort of thing. And yes, I am an old flirt. No apology. EDIT: Larry, just saw your post, very good explanation! [ 05-26-2002, 03:12 PM: Message edited by: Epona ] __________________ [img]\"http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/epona.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

05-26-2002, 03:18 PM	#4
Ê†ë®Ñï†Ý Zhentarim Guard Join Date: January 7, 2002 Location: Oxford Age: 40 Posts: 307	That's an extremely well balanced and well thought out explanation Larry [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] Do you think that a guy has a "right" to then try and force a girl given that he thinks she's been leading him on? Is it not then wrong for someone to flirt with a person. Have that person become infatuated with the flirter then flirt with other people and break said person's heart? __________________ ~blows kisses around~<br />♥~¤Ê†ë®Ñï†Ý¤~♥<br /><br /><b>vulnerable... yet tempted </b><br />

05-26-2002, 03:22 PM	#5
Beaumanoir Iron Throne Cult Join Date: June 3, 2001 Location: There is no IRL, Only AFK. Age: 35 Posts: 4,896	Well I'm Being Very Good And Sticking To The Rules Quite Well Since I Got A Girlfriend And My Flirting Has Cut By 75%. But Before That I Actually Very Nearly Won An Award For The Biggest Flirt At Our Show (Backstage). __________________ My pokemon bring all the boys to the yard, and they're like; you wanna trade cards? Damn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my Charizard.

05-26-2002, 03:25 PM	#6
Larry_OHF Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Midlands, South Carolina Age: 48 Posts: 14,759	Flirting, in it's pure form, is not deserving of the bad reputation it has. The guy that got his heart broken is the one with the problem. He tried to hope that the girl was wanting him...but a girl is not making commitments...that is just her way of conversation and enjoyment. Now, if the girl intentionally tried to make the guy fall in love so taht she could dump him hard,,,that is not right, but for the most part...girls don't waste their time with such silliness. Again I say, the girl is not at fault if she is thought to be leading a man on. The guy is the one at fault for being so arrogant as to think that. Guys flirt too. I flirt at work, but everybody knows what level I am at. Everyoine knows my happy family situation and my personality, and no girl has ever been offened. They most likely flirt back or just enjoy the attention at work, where stress levels could use some relief.

05-26-2002, 03:33 PM	#8
Attalus Symbol of Bane Join Date: November 26, 2001 Location: Texas Age: 75 Posts: 8,167	To me, flirting is not just eye contact and humorous conversation. It should contain at least some suggestion that, if circumstances were otherwise, something might happen, such as touching, innuendo, body language. To me banter and friendly conversation do not constitute flirting. I don't think that I understand the part about: "Do you think that a guy has a "right" to then try and force a girl given that he thinks she's been leading him on? Is it not then wrong for someone to flirt with a person. Have that person become infatuated with the flirter then flirt with other people and break said person's heart?" I don't think any man, and certainly no gentleman, has the "right" to force a woman to do anything. His opinions count for exactly zero. Also, I really don't think that anyone's heart can be broken just by flirting. Men (me included) are quite capable of falling head over heels over a woman on no encouragement at all, I and I do not feel that the woman has any guilt in the matter, unless she had clearly led him on. So, Eternity, I have seen some of your posts and do feel that you are flirtacious, but I have not seen anything you need to feel guilty about. Certainly not to allow any man to 'force"you to do anything that you dont want to do. __________________ Even Heroes sometimes fail...

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