Something Of Great Importance To share

[Kinslayer]

As I'm starting to feel fairly at home on this forum now I thought I'd share something with you. The following are expressions of emotion which I've had for about years now and I've recently sent them to some publishers who are interested in using some of them(the ones with "*" in the Title). Just thought I'd let you guy's eyeball them first and offer any constructive criticism. Also, I know one "My Sister" sounds very much like an R. Kelly song. That's on purpose as he was my sister's favourite singer.

INTRODUCTION
These are the feelings I cannot voice.
All of the thoughts too painful to share.
This book is my soul laid open and bare.
The key to my heart so, please, treat with care.

I LOVE YOU*
I wish that I could hold you every night,
But, these feelings I have fill me with fright
What do I say and what should I do?
For I dare not risk losing you.
I wonder if you feel for me as I for you.
I wonder when, I wonder where,
When will I have the courage to say I care.
No matter what we go through,
No matter what you may do,
My love for you will always be true.
And I can't wait to simply say “I love you”.

ALONE AGAIN*
Here I am alone again
All by myself without a friend
From me to you I do confide
All these feelings I have locked up inside
it hurt's so much I must admit
To be this alone does not fit
All this love I have to share
I'd give to you without a care
All my heart need's is you
Not just anyone will do
I need you there by my side
To lose those feelings that I hide
It's getting late I feel alone
As I lay by myself in an empty home
Is there someone there for me
I need someone to love you see
I'm like a puppet on a shelf
Feeling sorry for myself
It's not my fault I'm all alone
It didn't work out I should have known
So here I am alone again
All by myself without a friend
From me to you I do confide
All these feelings I have locked up inside
Here I am alone again
Here I am...alone...again

A FRIENDS SMILE*
Everything's gone wrong today.
No one reacts to anything you say.
No matter how much you scream and cry,
The world just seems to pass you by.
No one seems to notice or care,
That you're trying to be heard over your despair.
But on one face a smile shines through,
A smile that knows and cares about you.
A smile with love to lend
On a face you recognise as a friend


DEPRESSION*
Depression's like a bomb,
Waiting to go off.
The feeling's all consuming,
And it's hard to shake off.
You feel you're just existing,
You feel numb and so annoyed.
You don't know how to feel,
All you know becomes a void.
The only light you ever see,
Is when you think of death.
The only reason for this thought,
To lay your pains to rest.
You cannot put it in a sling,
A wheelchair or in plaster.
But once it takes you over,
See the dominoes falling faster.
And it's often far too hard to talk,
Or join in with the rest.
'Cos every single little thing,
Becomes one great big test.
You smoke and drink your life away,
As if there's no tomorrow.
The reason is to mask the face,
Of all your trials and sorrow.
The only truth is in your eyes,
So bloodshot dark and heavy.
And all to often people miss,
The silent and the ready.

PAIN*
I lock away my fears
And brush aside my tears.
My hate is chained in pain,
My mind with thoughts insane.
I try so hard to be strong,
Hoping that if I hold on,
That one day this pain will be gone.

MEMORIES OF LIFE*
In my 21 years all I recall is pain,
Vague memories of happiness now don't seem the same,
Still I feel that it is all my blame.
In this life I feel so alone,
I feel misunderstood if only I had known.
Things might be different if I had changed my ways,
Laughing and not crying in long ago days.
If I could find someone who understood what I meant,
That really would be a gift heaven sent.
It doesn't matter if there’s sun, wind or rain
In my so called life all I know is my pain.

SUICIDE*
I’ve stood before,
on the precipice.
Hoping to escape,
into the Abyss.
Held by the thought,
of a hug, a kiss.
Something to make life,
too good to miss.
But, in the dark of night,
As I want to die.
I simply ask myself why?
Cowardice or hope,
Which keeps me alive?
As I stare at the void,
Unable to dive.

FOUNDATIONS*
Throughout this life,
Destiny is not your own.
But, friends you choose,
Are yours alone.
Upon these foundations,
Build your throne.
To hold you through time,
As eternal as stone.

CONTENTMENT
Contentment? A fantasy,
Trying to be what you’re expected to be.
I always swore, never me.
Yet, here I float, adrift at sea
Asking, wondering, who is me?

CHILDHOOD LOST
2 years of life spent alone,
Living in places never to be home.
Sisters looking to me,
Unable to comprehend,
The sadness of a boy,
Destined never to end.
A mother unable to see,
Beyond drug induced misery.
As, strung out on narcotic highs,
Her offspring are beaten before her eye’s.

DEFIANCE AND DOUBT
Expected failure drives me on,
Defying my past, still moves me along.
Yet, every day I question my sanity,
As dark thoughts and emotions try to consume me.

MOURNING
2 sides of a coin,
1 raised in pain,
The other escaping to a life of gain,
Blood running through veins the same.
1 buried in a dark hole,
The other dead in soul.
Left with a life to live,
And a heart with nothing to give.
1 life extinguished before it’s dawn,
the other existing with a soul forever torn.
Wishing against hope that his sister could live
And ruing the day he was ever born.


UNREQUITED
I wake each day all alone,
Living in a place I can’t call home.
Feelings of love, buried, suppressed.
From a girl I love more with every breath.
A voice that brightens my waking day,
Yet, betrays my head in every way.
With dreams of her, each night I lay,
And to visions of beauty I rise each day.
Emotions lie buried within my core,
As I yearn for the courage to ask for more.

FAITH
Faith? Excuse of the weak,
No answer to the questions I seek.
Belief in a myth, a being so mighty,
Who steals lives I love, purely to spite me.
Lord knows, I’ve done things so bad,
Living with regrets I should never have had.
If a greater force should punish me,
Why not do it and leave my sister be?
Is “HE” a coward to cause others pain?
Or, is this anguish my source of blame?

MY SISTER
Sister, are you in a better place?
Or, even now, do tears stain your face?
As you gaze down on me,
Are you pleased at what you see?
For, despite my own eternal sorrow,
I’m glad you don’t fear another tomorrow.
Still ever day I think of you,
Regretting the things I didn’t do,
As each and every day I miss you.

TREASURE*
Friendship is a gift to treasure,
With those who care, to share every pleasure.
These people who know my inner being
And help me fight away all bad feeling.
Whenever I feel fear,
it’s these I want near.
A word of comfort, a smile, a frown,
To pick me up when I am down.
The joy of life seems so clear,
When surrounded by those I hold so dear.

THE INVISIBLE BOY
I am a child, in darkness wrought,
With kicks and punches is how I was taught.
Trying to hide, existing in silence,
Invisibility, my escape from violence.
Lying in bed, engulfed in tears,
These are my memories of childhood years.
Screams from mum as she’s beaten in bed,
To sleep I drift with these sounds in my head.
The helplessness that built within,
Seeks a release that’s yet to begin.
A decade on it becomes something more,
A white hot fury, devouring my core.
How could this anger replace my fear?
And, will it harm those I hold near?

PASSIONS END
I have had passion burning my heart,
But, the fires dimming is quick to start.
This is when love is truly found,
As desire fades but you need someone around.
The secret of love, if the truth be told,
Is finding that someone with whom to grow old.
Lust is little more than a chemical reaction,
The baring of souls is loves true attraction.

VENGEANCE
You abused me like I’d never known,
Tried to break me in each way then leave me alone,
As I dreamt of a revenge all of my own.
Left to weep and cry,
I dreamt of seeing you die.
As I closed my eye’s,
and felt the fury rise.
What you’ve done to me,
A despised memory.
Someday, I’ll make you pay,
for the childhood dreams that you stole away.
When life comes full circle,
As it always will,
I’ll be there waiting,
To savour the kill.
Ending the hurt you cause,
My only desire.
Waiting for the day,
You burn in hell’s fire.

[Qrt]

This will take some time to read and think about to start evaluating/discussing. I surely will get back to you as most seems good.

[Wulfere]

wow
I hope they do publish them Kinslayer.

------------------

The line between good and evil is a razor sharp thing. Be careful of misteps,
as you may find yourself spitted upon your own blade.

[Kinslayer]

Just thought I'd bump this as I could really do with some input before I submit my final draft to the publishers.

[Ladyzekke]

Kinslayer - Your expressions are very well written, very easy to read as well

I LOVE YOU - You express yourself very well, wherein readers can easily see what the writer is thinking, very relatable one too
ALONE AGAIN - Liked this one, actually, I accidentally read it together with I LOVE YOU. You know, the two could easily be combined into one.
A FRIEND'S SMILE - Very relatable, and I really like your last two sentences
DEPRESSION - Very deep, and again, those last two sentences are especially good
PAIN - It's OK
MEMORIES OF LIFE - It's OK
SUICIDE - It's OK
FOUNDATIONS - I liked this one, short, but very relatable
CONTENTMENT - I like the way it is written, but cannot relate, a bit confused, I think I view the word "contentment" in a different way than you mayhap
CHILDHOOD LOST - I imagine this was written to be heart wrenching, and it was successful
DEFIANCE AND DOUBT - Very short one, but has an impact
MOURNING - Another heart wrencher - I sure hope that you wrote this out of hand, and this is not truly fact
UNREQUITED - Really liked this one, well written, and again those last two sentences (you seem to be very good at closing sentences that seem to carry on in the reader's mind)
FAITH - Very controversial topic, yet relatable to many
MY SISTER - Left heart wrencher, onto tear jerker now. Again, Kinslayer, if these words you wrote are true as to your real life, I, well, don't know what to say, I am so sorry, just know that you have friends here that will be there for you whenever you need us, that is a fact...
TREASURE - Good one! And again those last two sentences
THE INVISIBLE BOY - A return to the tear jerker, very expressive
PASSIONS END - Excellent, once again those two sentences
VENGEANCE - Last, but definitely not least, another relatable one, and I noticed you used it as your last expression, again, you have a talent for ending structure

Kinslayer, you should definitely continue writing, as you are obviously very good at it

[sageridder]

quite a few of these would make really good song lyrics.I hope you don't feel this belittles your intent,it's just that when reading a couple of them I could almost hear them as song.

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Trust is indeed a shiny jewel,set in the stone of friendship.And much like any other stone can be use to crush the skulls of those unsuspecting.To clear the path for me to claim my rightfull place as master of all I survey.

..........O,_
......_.L.=\_:
~~(_)==(_)


[This message has been edited by sageridder (edited 07-11-2001).]

[Kinslayer]

Originally posted by ladyzekke: Kinslayer - Your expressions are very well written, very easy to read as well I LOVE YOU - You express yourself very well, wherein readers can easily see what the writer is thinking, very relatable one too ALONE AGAIN - Liked this one, actually, I accidentally read it together with I LOVE YOU. You know, the two could easily be combined into one. A FRIEND'S SMILE - Very relatable, and I really like your last two sentences DEPRESSION - Very deep, and again, those last two sentences are especially good PAIN - It's OK MEMORIES OF LIFE - It's OK SUICIDE - It's OK FOUNDATIONS - I liked this one, short, but very relatable CONTENTMENT - I like the way it is written, but cannot relate, a bit confused, I think I view the word "contentment" in a different way than you mayhap CHILDHOOD LOST - I imagine this was written to be heart wrenching, and it was successful DEFIANCE AND DOUBT - Very short one, but has an impact MOURNING - Another heart wrencher - I sure hope that you wrote this out of hand, and this is not truly fact UNREQUITED - Really liked this one, well written, and again those last two sentences (you seem to be very good at closing sentences that seem to carry on in the reader's mind) FAITH - Very controversial topic, yet relatable to many MY SISTER - Left heart wrencher, onto tear jerker now. Again, Kinslayer, if these words you wrote are true as to your real life, I, well, don't know what to say, I am so sorry, just know that you have friends here that will be there for you whenever you need us, that is a fact... TREASURE - Good one! And again those last two sentences THE INVISIBLE BOY - A return to the tear jerker, very expressive PASSIONS END - Excellent, once again those two sentences VENGEANCE - Last, but definitely not least, another relatable one, and I noticed you used it as your last expression, again, you have a talent for ending structure Kinslayer, you should definitely continue writing, as you are obviously very good at it

Cheers Ladyzekke, your comments were very helpful. I see what you mean about "Contentment" it makes perfect sense to me but will be almost impossible for others to understand so I'll try to re-write that one. Unfortunately I'm not a good enough actor to just make this stuff up and it does all draw on personal experience. Don't stress though as I've come through it all very well and though I miss my sister and came to the verge of a nervous breakdown at one point(quite heavy for a 24 year old), I've overcome it all and it's made me a stronger person. I actually live my life by the motto "If it Doesn't kill you it makes you stronger". I've also learnt that self pity should have no place in anyones life as there are plenty of people out there who will always know worse suffering.

Originally posted by Kinslayer: As I'm starting to feel fairly at home on this forum now I thought I'd share something with you. The following are expressions of emotion which I've had for about years now and I've recently sent them to some publishers who are interested in using some of them(the ones with "*" in the Title). Just thought I'd let you guy's eyeball them first and offer any constructive criticism. Also, I know one "My Sister" sounds very much like an R. Kelly song. That's on purpose as he was my sister's favourite singer.

I read the entire piece. very touching, sad, and revealing. You have a rare talent at poetry, I hope the Publisher sees this as I do. I personally cannot create a piece as deep or as well written as yours, I envy you!

Your sister is in my thoughts.

Dan

[Wah]

This piece of poetry is more like a dancing through the head - through, pain, strife, guilt, fear and all other things of quality and emotion.

I love it!! Wonderful - even though it does not express happiness.

------------------

[Kinslayer]

Originally posted by Wah: This piece of poetry is more like a dancing through the head - through, pain, strife, guilt, fear and all other things of quality and emotion. I love it!! Wonderful - even though it does not express happiness.

Trust me Wah, I've tried happiness but it just always seems so damn cheesy and stomach churningly cute.