I need some help with a decision.

[Neb]

Right, let's say that I've found someone that I'm SURE is my perfect match, I like her, she seems to like me, problem, she also seems to like someone else, and I know that HE also considers her his perfect match, so I can't decide whether I should tell her about my feelings for her or let my friend do his best to woo her? I don't want to ruin our friendship because of my love for her, but I think I'd go around being bitter towards my friend if he managed to woo her, I just can't decide, please, help me.

[Mirac Honorguard]

Neb, this is all gonna depend on the girl. From my own experience

Go for it!!!

If you don't shoot, you've never shot at all, it could even improve your friendship. If she likes you, then I personally would go for it
Hope this helps

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Lady Menqel, Protector of IW's, smiter of evil

http://www.angelfire.com/rpg2/mirac
- Dualled Swashbuckler/Fighter
- Fellow Table Dancer of the Jerome's Table dancer group
- Spell formulater of the IW peace-keeping force
- Thanks to Sazerac for the great sig picture

[DragonMage]

Originally posted by Neb: Right, let's say that I've found someone that I'm SURE is my perfect match, I like her, she seems to like me, problem, she also seems to like someone else, and I know that HE also considers her his perfect match, so I can't decide whether I should tell her about my feelings for her or let my friend do his best to woo her? I don't want to ruin our friendship because of my love for her, but I think I'd go around being bitter towards my friend if he managed to woo her, I just can't decide, please, help me.

That is one of the ugliest situations ever, imho. You need to determine for yourself how much your friend's friendship means to you. Because, if YOU woo and win her, how will HE feel? I take it the both of you know of the attractions you each have - does she know this?

Also keep in mind that, most of the time, the attractions we have when we are young do not last. Do NOT ruin a friendship for a relationship that will probably not last.

Hard to suggest what to do as I'm not there, but from a female's PoV, I would suggest, perhaps, that you both tell her of your attraction to her and let her decide. She may surprise you both and not be interested in EITHER of you. This is not a blow to your manly egos, just that she may only like you for friendship. Not EVERYone wants a relationship in their teens. I've known several people who didn't even want to date (at least beyond dinner and a movie kind of dates) until AFTER school. Just don't be in a big rush to get all 'serious'. Have friends and hang out together, but don't be in a hurry to find that 'perfect' someone.

Hope this is helpful.

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Alureth...Dragon friend of Breanna, Mage and Advisor in the Court of Lady Lioness

Co-Owner/Operator of the Evil Petting Zoo and devout member of the HADB clan.
Commander of the Dragon Fleet, IW Peacekeeping Force
Sublime Sister of the Illuminati - may the Light shine forever!
Second Historian and Scribe of IW. Mother Hen of IW.
Mage extraordinair, Pin-Up Girl for the OLD-COOTS
Magey-Wagey: performer in the Nekked Dancing Trio of the ORT.

Hopeless Romantic *sigh*

[Epona]

It is really the girl's decision which one of you she wants to go out with, don't try to make that decision for her by backing down in favour of your friend.

Why not speak to your friend, tell him that you want to ask this girl out. Then ask the girl. Then if she chooses him and not you, you will have less reason to be bitter with your friend. Just be open and honest with everyone.

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Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Epona of The Laughing Hyenas
Proud winner of the 'Most Useless Post 250 Has Ever Seen' Award 2001. "I'd just like to thank my friends and family, without whom none of this would have been possible..."

[Ronn_Bman]

If you "go for it" and your friend gets mad, that's a bad situation, and if you don't go for it, whether they "hook up" or not, you'll always wonder "what if".

To quote Tennyson, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

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"Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins."

[This message has been edited by Ronn_Bman (edited 10-24-2001).]

[SSJ4Sephiroth]

hmm... wll this is probably going to sound like its coming out of my ass, and this probably isnt the best course of action cause its never worked for me, but id probably tell her... waiting something like that out could be nasty, and if it doesnt end and you end up waiting forever you'll just feel terrible at yourself

[Aelia Jusa]

Originally posted by Epona: It is really the girl's decision which one of you she wants to go out with, don't try to make that decision for her by backing down in favour of your friend.

Oh great point, Epona. I was going to say this exact thing. There's nothing worse than having someone ask you out only to find someone you liked better stood aside in favour of the other guy. Of course, you don't want to ruin your friendship with the guy, this girl may not turn out to be your perfect match after all, so I'd talk it over with him before you do anything.

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Goddess of Undress
Co-owner of the Evil Petting Zoo and Sorceress of the HADB
OLD COOTS eye candy and Disrobed Division of the ORT
And her sidekick Pink

Now listen to an old man for once, youngun

Women appreciate it if you tell them precisely how you feel. If you open your heart to her, tell her exactly what you feel for her, chances are she'll like you a whole lot more for being open and honest. She'll realise that you really care about her that way. Make sure you're the first to tell her though, and don't wait for this other guy to butt in. Be open, romantic, and express yourself as best you can. It might seem a really hard thing to do, but it truly works. And don't forget, if you don't try it, you'll never know if she's the right girl for you. I don't want to sound degrading or anything but I've been in your shoes and had this exact same advice given to me. And it worked for me. It'll work for you too. Give it a go, and trust your elders once in a while

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Formidable Flirty Fishy Sorcerer of the HADB

[250]

Originally posted by Sorcerer Alex: Now listen to an old man for once, youngun Women appreciate it if you tell them precisely how you feel. If you open your heart to her, tell her exactly what you feel for her, chances are she'll like you a whole lot more for being open and honest. She'll realise that you really care about her that way. Make sure you're the first to tell her though, and don't wait for this other guy to butt in. Be open, romantic, and express yourself as best you can. It might seem a really hard thing to do, but it truly works. And don't forget, if you don't try it, you'll never know if she's the right girl for you. I don't want to sound degrading or anything but I've been in your shoes and had this exact same advice given to me. And it worked for me. It'll work for you too. Give it a go, and trust your elders once in a while

thats right, and
don't scare her control, my friend

[Silver Cheetah]

Originally posted by Neb: Right, let's say that I've found someone that I'm SURE is my perfect match, I like her, she seems to like me, problem, she also seems to like someone else, and I know that HE also considers her his perfect match, so I can't decide whether I should tell her about my feelings for her or let my friend do his best to woo her? I don't want to ruin our friendship because of my love for her, but I think I'd go around being bitter towards my friend if he managed to woo her, I just can't decide, please, help me.

Tell her! As soon as possible!! Otherwise you risk losing everything. Potential opportunities don't usually hang around for too long....



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Most Ecstatic and Exotic Mistress of the Illuminati Not to Mention Sensuality Incarnate (if Somewhat Flea-bitten Right Now..)