WAAAY Off Topic Poll - All are invited: Best and Worst Pick-up Lines

[Melusine]

OK

Ik SUULYINN haat en ik heb lief
waarom ik dat doe, ik weet het niet
maar ik voel het en word erdoor verscheurd SUULYINN

en verder
Laat ons leven SUULYINN en liefhebben (mijn Rikarda )
geef me duizend zoenen dan honderd
dan weer SUULYINN duizend dan een volgende honderd
dan weer zonder onderbreking duizend en weer honderd

LOL

Bijna blijven zitten GOH hoe zou dat komen misschien iets minder rpg-en en forumen
Suulyinn vreet vast al zijn vingernagels op

[Melusine]

Here are some of the more dodgy pick up lines I found on the Net:
-If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the
answer to this question?
-As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No? Damn!
-Wow! Are those real?
-D'you know the difference between pizza and fellatio? No? In that case, do you wanna come to my place and have some pizza?
-Nice Shoes. Wanna f*ck?
-You have been very naughty! Go to my room!
-Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

And here are some you might feel you could actually use, IdiotRogue!
-Be unique and different, say yes.
-You make me so nervous and flustered, I've completely forgotten my standard pick-up line.
-Hi, my name's ..... Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!

And here are some helpful lines for us ladies:
Rebuttals to Pick-Up Lines
He: I'd really like to get into your pants.
She: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.

He: So, wanna go back to my place?
She: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

He: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
She: It's in the phone book.
He: But I don't know your name.
She: That's in the phone book too.

A guy comes up to a girl and tells her some pick-up line. She grabs his crotch, looks down at it,
looks back at him, and says, "Sorry, I don't see any potential here" and nonchalantly walks off.

After hearing a pick-up line: I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

And here are some Medieval Pickup lines (maybe BK and CB have a use for them in their chivalric love affair)
-I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart.
-Can I hose down your doublet?
-Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your drawbridge and let me cross.
-You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.
-What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?
-Come up and see my scrolls.
-You can scale my battlements any day, madam.
-You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours.
-They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.
-My that's a fine set of chalices you have there.
-Ssh, I don't want everyone to know I'm on a secret holy quest.
-When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched.
-That's a nice chastity belt you're wearing. My blacksmith friends and I can help you out of it.
-Your hovel or mine?
-Looks like my dragon has finally found a nice cave to rest in.
-Why don't we go back to my place and re-enact "The Miller's Tale?
-You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends is on it!!
-Ever see a passion play? Would you like to?

[Melusine]

And for some Johnny Bravo classics
go to http://www.geocities.com/Yosemite/Me...bravowavs.html

Sorry I'll go check HELP on how to make a link right now!

[Melusine]

here

hope this works, never done it before

[Rikard_OHF]

Don't worry Melusine
It worked

oh met dat blijven zitten
ik ben pas vanaf Juli echt beginnen te RPG-en duz dat is vast hersen oefening
he dat ga ik tegen mijn ouders zeggen als een spel nodig heb

nee het ligt aan die 2e fase en vooral aan de bovenbouw
en het laten vallen van Grieks en het alleen maar hoeven lezen van Frans en Deuts

Hm Suul Yinn
want us to translate every single thing we said?

[IdiotRogue]

Hmmm... given the quantity and quality of the majority of suggestions received so far, I am wondering if there is a real lif Adventurer's Mart somewhere. I strongly suspect that I will be needing an AC of about -3,725,560, about 40 "Protection From Outraged Lady/Woman" Scrolls, 100 Potions of Extra Healing and a stout companion to carry my sorry carcass to the nearest temple to be resurrected AND de-castrated... Gee, it will be just like my college/university days... LMAO

Anyhow, my brother suggested I just sit quietly in a bar and lick my eyebrows from time to time...

Back when it was first introduced, a colleague of mine went to bars wearing a laminated badge on his jacket identifying him as a field representative for the manufacturer of Viagra. He claimed a 60% success rate which coincided with the decline in value of the pharmaceutical company's stock price.

Two I had (extremely) limited success with as a callow youth were:

"Do you know the difference between really bad sex and a banana split? No? Would you like to go for ice cream?" Someone had a variation of this above.

"If you got to bed with me, I can guarantee that nothing worse will happen to you the rest of your life."



Another that may have worked but I was too plastered to follow-up on it was the most honest, spontaneous and CORNIEST thing I ever said/did to a complete stranger. Some friends and I were out having a great time and I kept staring at this attractive young lady. My thoroughly intoxicated mind could think of nothing except "Alchohol GOOD! Kick in groin BAD!" Well, through the bar window, I noticed a street vendor. I staggered out and purchased a single white rose, stumbled back in and weaved my way toward her. Even in my inebriated state, I recognized the trepeidation and loathing in her eyes as I approached. I held out the rose (actually, I was probably flogging the air with it) and, to my surprise, she took it (probably in self defense), and said to her, "Such beauty should not go unremarked." I then turned away and tottered back to my friends and we were off. As we left, I looked back and she was staring at me in wonder. I will never know if it was my humble gesture or the fact that I may have had a spicy chicken wing adhered to my cheek (a pox on messy bar food!).

[Hellfire]

hey IR
aye,if ye be needin someone ta carry your stinkin carcass around i'll be your cab if the money be good,on a more serious note how are you seems that the fates be cruel to use "good guys"(cheack out the Valintines day poll/masacre)but you gotta friend here for ya

[Cloudbringer]

Melusine, you kill me! Your hovel or mine....hahaha

Well, you are NOT going to believe this but just now I had a real life one (and I said yes- listen up IR! )- although I don't know if you can strictly call it a 'pickup line' as we are colleagues in the office so we know each other(he's been here about a yr and half now).

He asked me to do some flyers up for series of student presentations that are all taking place on Fridays and was trying to decide whether to only make copies for TA's in one program or all of them as the presentations are in English. I kidded him that it's a Friday afternoon lecture, nobody's gonna come to it anyway.

His response: "I should make you pay for that- How about if someody does come YOU take ME to lunch and if nobody comes I take YOU to lunch?"

We'll see if he makes me pay up

[Cloudbringer]

BUMP!

I guess the only question for you StormCloud is where to go . . . is he cute? Single? Enquiring (and slightly jealous ) minds want to know!

I here a similar one to this last weekend. My buddies were playing pool, and this 22 year old hottie, pool playing "hottie" came to the table. Kicked my buddies A$$. He waived me away from the table (I was next, I didn't care) and said, "Hey, lets make this interesting. One more game. If I win, I get your phone number. If you win, you get my number." nice.

BK