Ralph in London

Arvon · 02-16-2007, 05:22 PM

Ralph, age 72, is visiting London for the first time. He decides to skip the afternoon tour and explore the city on his own.

He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.

After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class neighborhood. Big, stately residences ... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all ... no public restrooms.

He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness beers and all that trouble with his prostate.

Ralph finds a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby (policeman), who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies Ralph, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom."

"Ah, yes," said the bobby, "Just follow me."

He leads him to a back delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the bobbie. "Whiz away, anywhere you want."

Ralph enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. There are manicured lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was really decent of you. Is that what you call 'British hospitality'?"

"No sir," replied the bobbie, "that is what we call the French Embassy."

Felix The Assassin · 02-16-2007, 06:02 PM

ROFLMAO!
Hot damnit Man, that has got to be your best ever! [img]graemlins/wink10.gif[/img]

johnny · 02-16-2007, 06:55 PM

I knew it, i knew it. I couldn't find a public restroom either when i was visiting the palace of Versailles in Paris, that's why i took a dump in one of those flowerbeds you see all over the place. Glad i didn't break any laws after all.

Bozos of Bones · 02-17-2007, 06:55 AM

It could have been better, the French didn't surrender. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Mack_Attack · 02-17-2007, 08:22 AM

What is the dig deal about the french they are people too. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Felix The Assassin · 02-17-2007, 02:30 PM

You are so correct! I always selected "France" for my sovereign nation when playing the classics such as "Civ (all) Pirates (all) and the like".

Hell, if it weren't for the French, we might still speak with a peculiar accent!

However, in more modern times, the French can be classified:
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html

Hivetyrant · 02-17-2007, 05:25 PM

lol

02-16-2007, 05:22 PM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Ralph, age 72, is visiting London for the first time. He decides to skip the afternoon tour and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness. After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class neighborhood. Big, stately residences ... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all ... no public restrooms. He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness beers and all that trouble with his prostate. Ralph finds a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem. As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby (policeman), who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know." "I'm very sorry, officer," replies Ralph, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom." "Ah, yes," said the bobby, "Just follow me." He leads him to a back delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the bobbie. "Whiz away, anywhere you want." Ralph enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. There are manicured lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom. Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was really decent of you. Is that what you call 'British hospitality'?" "No sir," replied the bobbie, "that is what we call the French Embassy." __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

02-16-2007, 06:02 PM	#2
Felix The Assassin The Dreadnoks Join Date: September 27, 2001 Location: Orlando, FL Age: 61 Posts: 3,608	ROFLMAO! Hot damnit Man, that has got to be your best ever! [img]graemlins/wink10.gif[/img] __________________ The Lizzie Palmer Tribute Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. John F. Kennedy 35th President of The United States The Last Shot Honor The Fallen Jesus died for our sins, and American Soldiers died for our freedom. If you don't stand behind our Soldiers, please feel free to stand in front of them.

02-16-2007, 06:55 PM	#3
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	I knew it, i knew it. I couldn't find a public restroom either when i was visiting the palace of Versailles in Paris, that's why i took a dump in one of those flowerbeds you see all over the place. Glad i didn't break any laws after all. __________________

02-17-2007, 06:55 AM	#4
Bozos of Bones Apophis Join Date: July 29, 2003 Location: The Underdark cavern of Zagreb Age: 37 Posts: 4,679	It could have been better, the French didn't surrender. [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ MAKE LOVE, NOT SPAM!

02-17-2007, 08:22 AM	#5
Mack_Attack Osiris - Egyptian God of the Underworld Join Date: May 22, 2001 Location: Sherwoodpark,Alberta,Canada Age: 51 Posts: 2,929	What is the dig deal about the french they are people too. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] __________________

02-17-2007, 02:30 PM	#6
Felix The Assassin The Dreadnoks Join Date: September 27, 2001 Location: Orlando, FL Age: 61 Posts: 3,608	You are so correct! I always selected "France" for my sovereign nation when playing the classics such as "Civ (all) Pirates (all) and the like". Hell, if it weren't for the French, we might still speak with a peculiar accent! However, in more modern times, the French can be classified: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html __________________ The Lizzie Palmer Tribute Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. John F. Kennedy 35th President of The United States The Last Shot Honor The Fallen Jesus died for our sins, and American Soldiers died for our freedom. If you don't stand behind our Soldiers, please feel free to stand in front of them.

02-17-2007, 05:25 PM	#7
Hivetyrant Jack Burton Join Date: August 24, 2002 Location: Aussie now in the US of A! Age: 37 Posts: 5,403	lol

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