Question - Page 2

Shadowstrider · 06-19-2001, 11:44 AM

yes, ofcourse time...time is good...I must make time.

------------------
I am YOUR omega.
Strider's Chambers - My website about roleplaying. Under HEAVY development.
The Shadow Network - My fairly well developed roleplaying community. Roleplaying open to everyone.

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

AzureWolf · 06-19-2001, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shadowstrider:
yes, ofcourse time...time is good...I must make time.

Time is in the eye of the beholder...or is that beauty?
Well i sure as hell aint callin you beautiful

------------------

"I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..."

"I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go. For all this theres only one thing you should know....."

Shadowstrider · 06-19-2001, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AzureWolf:
Time is in the eye of the beholder...or is that beauty?
Well i sure as hell aint callin you beautiful

AWWWWWWWWW...how thoughtful. I'll be sure and give you a flower later on.

Epona · 06-19-2001, 04:00 PM

Sorry, I didn't read your story as I haven't had time - I've only been popping in here for a little while and can't even do every day at the moment.
If I get a spare moment I will have a look - please believe me, it's not that I am not interested!
I am also not a very good critic, so don't expect me to say anything intelligent - oh well, I never do anyway...

------------------

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Epona of The Laughing Hyenas

Wulfere · 06-20-2001, 07:41 AM

I like the story Shadowstrider,but. There's always a but it seems. As Fljotsdale said you need to work on it just a tad. She gave you some good advice and I can only add this...
When I write, I ask myself these questions.
Does the story flow properly?
Can the reader visualize the landscape easily with what I have written?
Does the atmosphere convey itself to them properly?
Does the Dialog fit and is it clear to the reader?
Often I will put a story down for awhile and come back to it later. That is usually when I see the "problems" with it and you will find that you are your own worst critic in the end.
Please DO NOT stop writing. I did enjoy the story.
When you finish revising it let me know and I would love to read it again.

------------------

Shadowstrider · 06-20-2001, 12:32 PM

1) it's FAR from over

2) Even if you told me i was the worst writer on the planet I would keep writing.
C)I have added some more.
Q)BUMP.

Moridin · 06-20-2001, 12:42 PM

Shadowstrider--

I read your story and posted a reply on your other thread. Did you read it there?

Like others have said, it is not good and it is not bad

It does need some 'clean-up', and could use more description to draw the reader into the world you are trying to create.

I like you attitude about writing! The more you write the better you will get!!!

------------------

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

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06-19-2001, 11:44 AM	#11
Shadowstrider Manshoon Join Date: May 1, 2001 Location: Demiplane of Shadow Posts: 248	yes, ofcourse time...time is good...I must make time. ------------------ I am YOUR omega. Strider's Chambers - My website about roleplaying. Under HEAVY development. The Shadow Network - My fairly well developed roleplaying community. Roleplaying open to everyone. NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our four...no... Amongst our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

06-19-2001, 04:00 PM	#14
Epona Zartan Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: London, England Age: 53 Posts: 5,164	Sorry, I didn't read your story as I haven't had time - I've only been popping in here for a little while and can't even do every day at the moment. If I get a spare moment I will have a look - please believe me, it's not that I am not interested! I am also not a very good critic, so don't expect me to say anything intelligent - oh well, I never do anyway... ------------------ Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. Epona of The Laughing Hyenas

06-20-2001, 07:41 AM	#15
Wulfere Red Wizard of Thay Join Date: March 20, 2001 Location: Lincoln, Nebraska USA Age: 63 Posts: 893	I like the story Shadowstrider,but. There's always a but it seems. As Fljotsdale said you need to work on it just a tad. She gave you some good advice and I can only add this... When I write, I ask myself these questions. Does the story flow properly? Can the reader visualize the landscape easily with what I have written? Does the atmosphere convey itself to them properly? Does the Dialog fit and is it clear to the reader? Often I will put a story down for awhile and come back to it later. That is usually when I see the "problems" with it and you will find that you are your own worst critic in the end. Please DO NOT stop writing. I did enjoy the story. When you finish revising it let me know and I would love to read it again. ------------------

06-20-2001, 12:32 PM	#16
Shadowstrider Manshoon Join Date: May 1, 2001 Location: Demiplane of Shadow Posts: 248	1) it's FAR from over 2) Even if you told me i was the worst writer on the planet I would keep writing. C)I have added some more. Q)BUMP.

06-20-2001, 12:42 PM	#17
Moridin Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 1,735	Shadowstrider-- I read your story and posted a reply on your other thread. Did you read it there? Like others have said, it is not good and it is not bad It does need some 'clean-up', and could use more description to draw the reader into the world you are trying to create. I like you attitude about writing! The more you write the better you will get!!! ------------------ Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

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