Internet friendships... a social taboo? - Page 2

Epona · 03-01-2002, 11:21 AM

I have something to say here -

Meeting people on the internet is NO DIFFERENT than meeting someone in a pub, a shop, or any other place. You don't know whether someone is telling the truth when you speak to them queuing behind you in the supermarket. You don't know if you are giving your details to a stalker when you open an account at the bank. The only difference is that in RL it is more difficult for a 20 year old man to pretend to be an 80 year old woman - but there is still plenty of face to face deception.

The vast majority of violent crime is carried out by someone who was close to the victim, most usually a family member. More people die or are badly injured at work because their jobs are dangerous than because of some stranger attacking them. You have to put it in perspective. If you meet someone from the internet, take the same precautions as you would meeting anyone you didn't know well - and tell people where you are going, when you will be back, and how you can be contacted.

A scary story. The serial killer Dennis Neilsen used to work in the Civil Service. He was active in the union - my union. He used to go to union conferences, the same ones I now go to. OK, I'm too young to have known him personally - but plenty of people that I know remember him and even used to socialise with him at his house which was down the road from where I live. He was eventually caught, but of course none of the people that knew him well enough to go drinking with him, or go have tea at his house, none of these people that I know, ever suspected that he was a violent mass murderer. Face to Face interaction is NO guarantee of safety or honesty!

Azred · 03-01-2002, 12:09 PM

There are positive stories about people meeting via the Internet, I can assure you. I am one.

My girlfriend and I met each other 2 years ago over the Internet. In that time, 4 other relationships around us have dissolved into nothingness while ours remains strong. I suppose that is becuase we met each other while talking and we continue to talk with each other daily (albeit face-to-face, but you don't hear me complaining

)

Anyway, use the same caution you would in the real world and you should keep yourself relatively safe, but there is no reason for the hysterical paranoia you hear on the radio or see on TV about Internet relationships in general.

Nanaki3 · 03-01-2002, 12:52 PM

I totaly agree with you. Why does the media talk about teens that way. Most teens aren't that stupid and wont get to involved. Especialy if they live thousands of miles away. But I wil admit there are some pretty dumb people out there. That's for sure.

Sazerac · 03-01-2002, 01:00 PM

Our own Wyvern, moderator of Wizards & Warriors forum, met her husband (Smylin' Dragon here at IW) 20 years ago on Compuserve. They've been happily married for almost 20 years now.

As I said before, one mustn't believe everything one reads...or hears. P.T. Barnum was an optimist.

[ 03-01-2002: Message edited by: Sazerac ]

Garnet FalconDance · 03-01-2002, 01:19 PM

There is a saying I believe to be pertinent here: Only believe half of what you hear and treat half of that as hearsay and with a grain of salt.

Campino · 03-01-2002, 01:37 PM

My thoughts on this.I know there are people out there who aren't exactly who (what) they say they are,i'm not naive.I've heard stories of people who've been swindled by someone they met on the internet.
I alsoknow friendships were made through this medium.As for myself,i am very choosy over who gets to know me better.I have met someone in RL once who i first contacted through the internet,and i had a wonderful day.Unfortunately,that contact faded away,but i still feel good i judged that person right.I think in all fairness i can say if someone can be trusted or not.So far,i haven't been wrong,and i hope i never will.I have a great contact with someone at the moment

and it feels very good.But like i said,for me starting friendships on the internet are rarities,but possible.

SSJ4Sephiroth · 03-01-2002, 04:36 PM

Cerek, I've noticed that my guild former buddies are awful hypocritical. They never question what's told about any of the members, but all of a sudden when it makes me happy its all wrong...

Larry, it'd depend on if your serious or not... im a reckless teen and will inform, though

.

exactly Epona. Nobody can be certain of the truth in real life either, only of looks and, to a degree, age.

Azred, I was referring to media. Not to take away from your achievement, of course [img]smile.gif[/img] .

Actually Nanaki, I have... errrm... gotten involved in recent times. The bad portrayal of them in the media does enrage me though, and im sure that it does everyone here too.

Garnet, myself and my fellow left-wingers in Sallisaw have a saying like that: Believe half of what you see and nothing that you hear. I use it on the media all the time [img]smile.gif[/img] .

Galadria · 03-01-2002, 05:15 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Larry_OHF:

My wife shares similar thoughts about this, but in a little different way. I can have all the guy friends I want, whether it is RL or Internet, but if I begin to talk to a girl here on IW, and it is more than a response to a question...my wife gets very angry ([i]jealous..

Attalus told me about this one and I tried to get him to respond but he wouldn't. Larry, do you mean that your wife gets jealous of TAO and Garnet and I??? Hmmm. More blackmail opportunity.

Cloudbringer · 03-01-2002, 06:25 PM

Aww... Larry, do tell your wife that most of the ladies you talk to are attached.

Well, for the record, I met Nachtrafe online and we've talked (voice) and met in person and he's moving out here this summer. So, I can vouch for good, honest people being out there. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Cloudy

Foo · 03-01-2002, 06:26 PM

The mass media, especially TV News is all about SCARING you!! You will never find anything positive in the mainstream media!!!

You can watch any evening news program you like, and absolutely every story is designed to make you FEAR!

Of course, the exception to this is about the kangaroo that got loose in residential Melbourne, or the feel-good "Wednesday's Child" that they show here in Chicago about how some sad kid needs a foster parent.....

So, of course, when it comes to the internet and relationships that are found on-line, the only thing that NBC, CNN etc can come up with is some story about predators on-line and how the internet is BAD. Just when I was a kid and there were stories on TV about how playing D&D and listening to heavy metal meant you were somehow a devil worshiper.

My attitude towards anything I see on TV news is 'yeah, whatever... just get on with the sales pitch and let me see the Cubs....'

03-01-2002, 11:21 AM	#11
Epona Zartan Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: London, England Age: 53 Posts: 5,164	I have something to say here - Meeting people on the internet is NO DIFFERENT than meeting someone in a pub, a shop, or any other place. You don't know whether someone is telling the truth when you speak to them queuing behind you in the supermarket. You don't know if you are giving your details to a stalker when you open an account at the bank. The only difference is that in RL it is more difficult for a 20 year old man to pretend to be an 80 year old woman - but there is still plenty of face to face deception. The vast majority of violent crime is carried out by someone who was close to the victim, most usually a family member. More people die or are badly injured at work because their jobs are dangerous than because of some stranger attacking them. You have to put it in perspective. If you meet someone from the internet, take the same precautions as you would meeting anyone you didn't know well - and tell people where you are going, when you will be back, and how you can be contacted. A scary story. The serial killer Dennis Neilsen used to work in the Civil Service. He was active in the union - my union. He used to go to union conferences, the same ones I now go to. OK, I'm too young to have known him personally - but plenty of people that I know remember him and even used to socialise with him at his house which was down the road from where I live. He was eventually caught, but of course none of the people that knew him well enough to go drinking with him, or go have tea at his house, none of these people that I know, ever suspected that he was a violent mass murderer. Face to Face interaction is NO guarantee of safety or honesty! __________________ [img]\"http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/epona.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

03-01-2002, 12:09 PM	#12
Azred Drow Priestess Join Date: March 13, 2001 Location: a hidden sanctorum high above the metroplex Age: 54 Posts: 4,037	There are positive stories about people meeting via the Internet, I can assure you. I am one. My girlfriend and I met each other 2 years ago over the Internet. In that time, 4 other relationships around us have dissolved into nothingness while ours remains strong. I suppose that is becuase we met each other while talking and we continue to talk with each other daily (albeit face-to-face, but you don't hear me complaining ) Anyway, use the same caution you would in the real world and you should keep yourself relatively safe, but there is no reason for the hysterical paranoia you hear on the radio or see on TV about Internet relationships in general. __________________ Everything may be explained by a conspiracy theory. All conspiracy theories are true. No matter how thinly you slice it, it's still bologna.

03-01-2002, 12:52 PM	#13
Nanaki3 The Magister Join Date: February 12, 2002 Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Posts: 124	I totaly agree with you. Why does the media talk about teens that way. Most teens aren't that stupid and wont get to involved. Especialy if they live thousands of miles away. But I wil admit there are some pretty dumb people out there. That's for sure. __________________ <br /><br />[url]\"http://www.geocities.com/carribeanairways\" target=\"_blank\">Click Here To Visit My New Virtual Airline</a>

03-01-2002, 01:00 PM	#14
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 60 Posts: 7,387	Our own Wyvern, moderator of Wizards & Warriors forum, met her husband (Smylin' Dragon here at IW) 20 years ago on Compuserve. They've been happily married for almost 20 years now. As I said before, one mustn't believe everything one reads...or hears. P.T. Barnum was an optimist. [ 03-01-2002: Message edited by: Sazerac ] __________________ "And all my days are trances, and all my nightly dreams, Are where thy grey eye glances, and where thy footstep gleams, In what ethereal dances, by what eternal streams..."

03-01-2002, 01:19 PM	#15
Garnet FalconDance Mephistopheles Join Date: August 30, 2001 Location: deep within the sylvan splendor.... Age: 60 Posts: 1,443	There is a saying I believe to be pertinent here: Only believe half of what you hear and treat half of that as hearsay and with a grain of salt. __________________ "Nature tells every secret once." Ralph Waldo Emerson

03-01-2002, 01:37 PM	#16
Campino Avatar Join Date: November 12, 2001 Location: Netherlands Age: 55 Posts: 522	My thoughts on this.I know there are people out there who aren't exactly who (what) they say they are,i'm not naive.I've heard stories of people who've been swindled by someone they met on the internet. I alsoknow friendships were made through this medium.As for myself,i am very choosy over who gets to know me better.I have met someone in RL once who i first contacted through the internet,and i had a wonderful day.Unfortunately,that contact faded away,but i still feel good i judged that person right.I think in all fairness i can say if someone can be trusted or not.So far,i haven't been wrong,and i hope i never will.I have a great contact with someone at the moment and it feels very good.But like i said,for me starting friendships on the internet are rarities,but possible. __________________

03-01-2002, 04:36 PM	#17
SSJ4Sephiroth Beholder Join Date: May 4, 2001 Location: The Outside Looking In Age: 37 Posts: 4,361	Cerek, I've noticed that my guild former buddies are awful hypocritical. They never question what's told about any of the members, but all of a sudden when it makes me happy its all wrong... Larry, it'd depend on if your serious or not... im a reckless teen and will inform, though . exactly Epona. Nobody can be certain of the truth in real life either, only of looks and, to a degree, age. Azred, I was referring to media. Not to take away from your achievement, of course [img]smile.gif[/img] . Actually Nanaki, I have... errrm... gotten involved in recent times. The bad portrayal of them in the media does enrage me though, and im sure that it does everyone here too. Garnet, myself and my fellow left-wingers in Sallisaw have a saying like that: Believe half of what you see and nothing that you hear. I use it on the media all the time [img]smile.gif[/img] .

03-01-2002, 05:15 PM	#18
Galadria 20th Level Warrior Join Date: November 3, 2001 Location: Texas Age: 54 Posts: 2,830	quote: Originally posted by Larry_OHF: My wife shares similar thoughts about this, but in a little different way. I can have all the guy friends I want, whether it is RL or Internet, but if I begin to talk to a girl here on IW, and it is more than a response to a question...my wife gets very angry ([i]jealous.. Attalus told me about this one and I tried to get him to respond but he wouldn't. Larry, do you mean that your wife gets jealous of TAO and Garnet and I??? Hmmm. More blackmail opportunity. __________________ Lady Galadria,Goddess\' Equal of the O.R.T.; [img]\"http://havak.db-forge.com/portraits/bitmaps/wlf180L.bmp\" alt=\" - \" /><br />\"Romance at short notice was her specialty.\" - Saki <br />Founder of the IW Branch of the Anti-Anomen Society

03-01-2002, 06:25 PM	#19
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	Aww... Larry, do tell your wife that most of the ladies you talk to are attached. Well, for the record, I met Nachtrafe online and we've talked (voice) and met in person and he's moving out here this summer. So, I can vouch for good, honest people being out there. [img]smile.gif[/img] Cloudy __________________ "Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace)

03-01-2002, 06:26 PM	#20
Foo Dungeon Master Join Date: February 11, 2002 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 72	The mass media, especially TV News is all about SCARING you!! You will never find anything positive in the mainstream media!!! You can watch any evening news program you like, and absolutely every story is designed to make you FEAR! Of course, the exception to this is about the kangaroo that got loose in residential Melbourne, or the feel-good "Wednesday's Child" that they show here in Chicago about how some sad kid needs a foster parent..... So, of course, when it comes to the internet and relationships that are found on-line, the only thing that NBC, CNN etc can come up with is some story about predators on-line and how the internet is BAD. Just when I was a kid and there were stories on TV about how playing D&D and listening to heavy metal meant you were somehow a devil worshiper. My attitude towards anything I see on TV news is 'yeah, whatever... just get on with the sales pitch and let me see the Cubs....'

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