Transportation in Heaven

[Hivetyrant]

Transportation in Heaven

Three men die and go to heaven. At the gate St. Peter tells them,
"Before you go into heaven, we are going to give you each a
vehicle with which to get around. The way we determine what type
of vehicle you will get is by how faithful you were to your
wives. Now," he says, turning to the first man, "were you true to
your wife?"

"Yes, I was, St. Peter," says the first man. "I never strayed.
From the day I married her to the day I died, I slept with no
woman other than my wife. I loved her very deeply."

"As reward for your complete fidelity," says St. Peter, "I now
give you these keys to a beautiful Roll-Royce."

The man happily accepts the keys, and St. Peter turns to the
second man. "Sir," he says, "were you faithful to you wife?"

Well, St. Peter," says the second man a little shyly, "I must
admit that when I was much younger, I did stray once or twice.
But I did love my wife very much, and after those minor
indiscretions, I was completely faithful until my dying day."

St. Peter looks down at the man and says, "As a reward for good
marital conduct, I am giving you these keys to a Pontiac."

As the man takes the keys from his St. Peter turns to the third
man. "Sir," he says, "were you faithful to you wife?"

"St. Peter," says the man, "I screwed everything I could, every
chance I got. There wasn't a week of my marriage that I didn't
sleep with someone other than, wife. But I must admit to you, St.
Peter, that it was a problem I had, because I really did love my
wife very much."

"Well," says St. Peter, "we do know that you did love your wife
and that does count for something, so this is what you get."
With that he rolls out a ten-speed bicycle and gives it to the
man. The gates of heaven open, and the three men enter

Sometime later the man on the bicycle is riding along, when he
sees that the man with the Rolls Royce has pulled over and is
sitting on the bumper of his car. He is sobbing uncontrollably.
The man pulls his bicycle up next to the man and says, "Hey, pal,
what's the matter? What could possibility be wrong? You have a
beautiful Rolls Royce to drive arround in?"

"I know," say the man through his sobs, "but I just saw my wife
on roller skates!"


Another...


A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach
about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want
you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the
minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many
had read Mark 17. Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I
will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

[ 12-15-2003, 08:04 PM: Message edited by: Hivetyrant ]

[LordKathen]

Very funny stuff. That last one made my day. I am off to drive drunks around all night, see ya. [img]graemlins/happywave.gif[/img]