Funniest Gaming Events (feel free to add to it)

[norompanlasolas]

ok, a few ones...

. vampire, the masquerade.
a friend of mine played a malkavian (crazy vamps) who had been a demolition expert in the army. one time he was "interrogating" a fellow vampire in his apartment in a shady hotel 8th floor and the rest of us were in the lobby, when we heard police sirens. so the malkavian asks the dm how much explosive he must plant in the door so that only the cops die when they get in the place. he rolls... big fumble. 3 kilos, says the dm wickedly. whilst the rest of us head for the terrace, he plants 10 kgs of C4 in the door while he escapes to the sewers. the result, the building completely destroyed with us buried under tons of bricks.

so we were buried, still alive but badly bruised. he then cleverly thinks that he better gets us out of there before they clean the place up during the day and we all die because of the sun. what does he do? asks the dm how much explosive he must plant so that he takes out the rubble without injuring us... he rolls again... and guess what. another big fat fumble. 30kgs says the dm... he goes to his car to fetch some, and just to make himself sure he wont go short (and thinking we are vamps and can take it) he strategically (he got THAT roll) plants 120kgs (all he had left) of C4 in the rubble. the explosion took out the entire block, killing pretty much everybody in a 1000 mt radius. we managed to survive, but after that we didnt let him get near anything with a fuse any more.


. rolemaster (merp).
one day we were exploring a lichs dungeon, when we came upon a long set of stairs that stretched down into the darkness. assuming they were trapped (evil dm), we spent a few minutes discussing what to do, since our trusty thief had been severely injured in a previous encounter. so, our ugly and deformed mage comes up with a genius idea while looking at the dwarf... we then talked him into it (wasnt so difficult) and proceeded to put him a SECOND chain mail on top of his, an extra pair of boots, a blanket sorrounding his body, a shield in each arm, one more on his back, and finally a helmet (which he usually didnt wear because the head was always a secondary organ for him).

-mage- "now big tough dwarf, you will go running down these stairs, stepping in ALL steps, and youll be just fine and dandy"
-dwarf- "will i get any experience"
-dm- "eeeehrrmm... well, i guess"

so the nimble dwarf starts walking down the stairs, and of course, he trips... steps on his blanket and goes tumbling down the stairs like a ton of bricks, banging his head in all the steps. when we finally got down and saw that... thing, in the ground, unable to move, stinking, bleeding and threatening us, all we could say was... "funny, there werent any traps after all".

edit: damn memory. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 03-11-2002: Message edited by: norompanlasolas ]

[Attalus]

Well, I know that this isn't roleplaying, but we were having a naval wargame once, and the referees had designed a WWII raider hunting game, with a whole bunch of Nazi surface raiders versus us allies trying to catch them before they sank too much shipping. We had a huge gamut of ships to search with, from battleships to little corvettes and minesweepers. Now one of the players on the German side would never cheat, but he always schemed for any advantage that he could get. We would call out the hexes that we were searching, and the refs would say whenever there was a ship, unidentified, in it. I called out one, and the ref got cute and said, "You see a freighter that is being bombed by an Arado (german) floatplane." So, I said,"We fire anti-aircraft at it."
The ref says, "It flies away to the east."
I say,"We fire across the freighter's bows, hailing her to halt."
The opponent explodes, "What do you mean? It was getting bombed. Aren't you going to chase the plane?"
I replied, "Mike, you can't chase airplanes with ships. We'll go search over there when we've identified this ship."
At this moment, a strange little duck, who had been playing with my ship models, returned one of them, a "Flower" Class Corvette, very small. My opponent breaks into triumphant laughter. "Is this what you caught me with?" he cried,indicating the little ship.
The ref reaches into my ship case and pulls out the (huge) French battleship Strasbourg. and says, "No, Mike, he caught you with this." Tou should have seen the look on his face! Priceless!

[Cerek the Barbaric]

These are some experiences from other members in my group. JL was the person who taught me how to play AD&D and Felix is one of the best roleplayers you will ever meet. ALL of his characters were very tough, and he played them strictly by alignment. Everybody from this "veterans" group had characters that had reached 35+levels of experience.

JL - His very first AD&D character was a straight fighter named James. James was originally Chaotic Good, but changed alignments when he recieved the Sword of Kas from a dungeon. He became an extremely powerful character.
In one dungeon, James and a paladin were leading the party through a high-level dungeon when they came to a corridor that "glowed with magical traps". The DM expected the corridor slow the characters down for a long time while they tried to Identify and Disarm all the traps. James had a different idea. He grabbed a Wand of Healing in one hand and the back of the paladins neck in the other. He then used the paladin as a human shield..shoving him down the hallway ahead of him and setting off all the traps. Whenever he felt the paladin "slump" from the damage he was taking, James would ZAP him with the wand and restore him to full hit points. They cleared the corridor in about 5 minutes.

Felix - One of his most feared characters was a NE female mage. Everybody in the group agreed that she was probably THE most evil character they had ever seen. In one particular dungeon she was in, the party encountered some type of horrendously powerful monster that was trapped in a 50' deep pit. I can't remember the specifics, but - for some reason - the party HAD to kill this monster. Since it was in the pit, the party couldn't use any spells (except for Magic Missile) without hitting a party member. So the fighters grabbed their weapons and leaped fearlessly into the pit. One of the clerics also jumped in to keep healing the fighters as needed. One of the fighters took an extreme beating and was reduced to 1-2 hit points. The cleric was busy with one of his comrades and the fighter knew he would be killed if he got hit again...so he decided to "bug out" and climb back up out of the pit.
After 2 rounds of strenuous climbing, he crawls over the lip of the pit...right at the feet of the mage.
She takes one look at him and says "Ohhh, you poor dear. You need the cleric. He's down THERE!"...she then kicks the fighter in the face, sending him head-over-heels back down into the pit.

[AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe]

just bumping this up. a great thread like this deserves to be read

[/)eathKiller]

The Fighter
Skills - OverEstimation
Proffecient in - Annoyance
Is prone to: Act without questioning his actions

What can I say, the fighter on our D&D team is one of many things... he reminds me alot of mikey... yes you know, THE mikey. The one from all those life cerial commercials "im not gonna try it! " "im not gonna try it!" "I know Mikey will try it!" "yeah he'll try everything!"

Well our fighters is like that in SO many ways it is scarry...

DM: You're in a bar, a Barbarian walks in and asks you to buy drinks for everyone, he looks real mean, drunk, and strong, will you do as he says?

Me: I don't know him...

His brother the preist: Let's get outa' here...

Fighter: I CHOOSE TO DO A 1-4 ROLLIN' FIST FIGHT!

DM: Will you assist the fighter?

Us: UM we don't know him *go whistling out of the bar*

DM: *rolls on floor laughing* OK!

--------------------

DM: You see a tortch...

Me: Well um maybe someone should touch it..

Preist: Yeah pull on it...

Me: You can go ahead...

Preist: Oh no really you should!

Fighter: ILL DO IT!

Me; Ok you pull the tortch and we'll just stand... about ... 50 yards back here yeah... GO ON BUDDY THATS IT PULL AWAY!

DM: the fighter had fallen down a pit and landed in some... waste deep water...

Fighter: Im dead?

DM: Ok it's deep water...

Fighter: I drowned with my armor on?

DM: ITS KNECK-DEEP!

Me and Preist: Well tough luck, see ya buddy!

DM: You're not going down there with him:?

Us: And get wet and trapped?

DM: Ok but you'll have to fight your way through the Necromancers returning army which now wants revenge from their masters demise...

Priest: You know what...

Me: Lets jump down the pit!

Priest: YEAH lets DO IT!

*jumps*

---------------

Fighter: I choose to use... TWIN SKIMITARS!

Us: Will he ever get tired of those?

Fighter: no!

---------------

Fighter: My baldur's gate character could whoop yours!

DM: Prove it then...

*it takes 3 of his "best" characters to take down one of the DM's weakest*

----------------

Fighter: Hey Ranger, I should go to your place and play some X box and get to see your level 200 character and you can show off his WHOLE inventory one weapon at a time...

Me; I tried making a video tape of that and i ran out of tape by the end of the Handguns alone...

Fighter: Well we got more time than on a videotape!

Me: ugggh...

-----------------

As of yet he hasn't seen my place... >_> let's keep it that way shall we...

But seriously, one of these days Im going to Photograph every weapon and barrier and armor and accesory that i have in that game and ill make a PSO rare item index greater than that of Omega hour!

--------------------

[Cerek the Barbaric]

Originally posted by /)eathKiller: What can I say, the fighter on our D&D team is one of many things... he reminds me alot of mikey... yes you know, THE mikey. The one from all those life cerial commercials "im not gonna try it! " "im not gonna try it!" "I know Mikey will try it!" "yeah he'll try everything!" [/QB]

Quick Sidebar - The Mikey Life commercial HAS to be THE MOST misquoted commercial in advertising history. In the original commercial, the two brothers gave the cereal to Mikey because they thought he WOULDN'T eat it ("Yeah, he won't eat it...he hates EVERYTHING.")

Just a quibble....now onto more PnP stories...

I wasn't involved in this game, but the players came up with one of the best "game-winning" moves I ever heard of.

The party was traveling through Middle Earth (but it wasn't in M.E.R.P.S. - go figure) and they had to enter Shelob's lair.

They dispatched the orcs and other randomly encountered creatures and then met the Big Lady herself. They were a strong party, but much to their dismay, they discovered that she was surrounded by an Anti-Magic Shell. This meant that NO spells worked on her and the fighters couldn't utilize any magical effects from their weapons (a +12 Hackmaster just becomes an ordinary metal sword). The party knew they would never be able to beat Shelob with just regular weapons, but they were unable to Dispel the Shell.

Then, one of the mages had an idea and began casting.
"What are you doing?" asked the DM.
"I'm casting Rock to Mud" said the player.
"Ok, where are you directing the spell?"
"To the roof of the cavern, directly over Shelob!"

The spell "melts" the ceiling, which flows down on top of Shelob - then it hits the Anti-Magic Shell and turns back to SOLID ROCK!!! Shelob was CRUSHED!!

[AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe]

That was pretty efficient. I love it when it turns out that way. One time a party I was roleplaying with shot a dragon with a crossbow quarrel, which normally would do anything, except on a role of 100. sure enough the double zeros showed up. Lucky for us, we were all wounded and a pretty low level party. Anyways the quarrel ended up hitting the dragon in the eye, which was good since it only had one eye left, the other was replaced with a gem of great power when the dragon lost it in a battle with some sort of evil lich or something(i dont remember the whole story, but it was common knowledge and legend in some town my group was travelling through, so of course we had to have it) A blind dragon is still quite a foe to face, but we managed to overcome it, and get the jewel.

[Sazerac]

Bumping for Charean, RudeDawg, and others who may have missed it...

-Sazerac

(P.S. DANG I'm good! I couldn't get the "Search" function to work, so I opened up the list to show all topics from the past 100 days and took a stab somewhere in the middle...and HIT the very page that this thread was on! I'm going to be insufferably pleased with myself for the rest of the day. )

"S"

[ 05-13-2002, 02:38 PM: Message edited by: Sazerac ]

[andrewas]

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away

Me, a rodian called vanoran and two others in my command crew were sitting in the Mos Eisley cantina bar (Of A New Hope fame). Also with us were 6 junior crew members. (The command crew were veterans of previous campaigns, while the juniors were newbies).

The Ultimate DM of evil asks us all to make perception checks. One of the juniors passes and comes out with "Isnt that that donovan bloke over there". Now, the veteran instantly recognised the name Donovan and, after the coughing fits and displays of shock (and double checking it was actualy him), we began checking our weapons and making sure we could get the hell out of the bar in a hurry. The command crew huddles together and we come to the conlcusion that theres no way that the DM is going to spring another legion of clone troopers etcetera on us so soon, but that it woudnt hurt to get the hell out of the outer rim ASAP. We continue on mission, taking rather more care than normal.

Donovan appears in several locations, and begins to beckon us over one at a time. Now even im beginning to get worried now, and I had a "borrowed" ISD at my command(There was an SSD docked at the station we got it, but Vader can be a pain to get rid of). Finaly I get called over, and after maiking sure that my exec has the targeting designator for the ship (Cool device that. Shoot something with it and 2 second later the ship hits it with starship-class weapons, and were talking a top-of-the-line imperial destroyer with experimental enhancements here), I go over.

It was a device to get the veterans to freak out the juniors. No secret plot, no imperial battlefleet, no nothing. Not that we told the juniors, we had them double checking dark alleys for weeks.

[SomeGuy]

Oh these are great stories,in fact I have one story.It's a good one [img]smile.gif[/img]

1)Me and my cousin were playing the d&d game with my uncle.He was a kensia and i was a fighter/theif.We had just found a young girl dead with an arrow in the neck.We walked further up the path we were on and I got hit with an arrow in the arm.We went further up the trail and came across a large stump.We further exaimed it and found a small hole for us to crawl through.It was pitch black here and seeing as i was our elf I had to lead the way.So further down the trail I see little red eyes and eye tell my fellow player.He asks where they were and I shout out "OVER THERE AND OVER THERE AND OVER THERE!" and the eyes disapeared.We went further down the hole and I knee myself in KOBOLD CRAP!It stank so bad that my cousin pukes on my boots!Later after that we get attacked by some kobolds and get captured and put in this jai cell inn this very large cavern.After a long talk with a kobold king the kobold home gets attcked by gnomes and we are released.All of our stuff was taken away and my cousin sees a small pool and jumps in and it turns out to be a pool of ACID!It does'nt kill 'em but it burns off all of his clothes and hair.After about 10 min of laughing my butt off we continue.So we venture further down the cavern and find a door.It's locked.I try to lock pick it and I fail and i try about 30 more times and still fail.So i'm all like agh screw it!Then my cousin trys to bust the door down and he roles a 100!(my uncle don't use the dice he uses some thingmon his computer to role.)So the door flys off the hinges and we hear a loud crash.We look behind the door and see a pefect set of full plate armor!(we later find out that it is +5 full plate armor)The armor had this huge dent in it! So basicly my uncle likes to torment me and my cousin.

2)my cousin goes around "training" by hitting trees with his hammer and awaks a tree monster.(what do ya exspect he got a intelligence of 6.....well i got one of 4 )