Traveling this summer? Check this out! (Couldn't resist)

[Fast Hands]

Hey all! Now, I know that some of you may not travel through the Midwest of the US but, I hope you find this as amusing as I did anyways.


A heartfelt message from the rural Midwest:

Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop, when Easterners and Californians cross states such as Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, and South Dakota, those states' Tourism Councils have adopted a set of information guidelines. In an effort to help outsiders understand the Midwest, the following list will be handed to each driver entering the state:

1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a gravel road. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I need it...not just to keep up with the neighbors.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped... by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for... bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.

9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef' Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we used two weeks a year.

12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We slow down if it's yellow.

13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive pickups, trucks and tractors -- because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too -- and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstates 70, 80, & 90 go East & West--Interstates 29, 35 & 55 go North & South. Pick one and use it accordingly.

16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazard. It spooks the fish.

19. That Highway Patrol Officer who just pulled you over for driving like an idiot... his name is "Sir"... no matter how old he is.

20. No, the whole state of Nebraska is not flat. In fact, most of it isn't. Tarry from Interstate 80 and see for yourself.

Now please, enjoy your visit.

[spydar]

holy crap, this could totally apply to where I'm from up here in northern alberta.

[Grendal]

Originally posted by spydar: holy crap, this could totally apply to where I'm from up here in northern alberta.

Ive been to Northern Alberta ....hes not lyin! [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Pyrius]

HaHaHaHa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I lived in North Carolina for a few years and that little set of rules really put a lot in perspective. The first day in that town, which had a population of about 400 btw, it freaked me out that everyone was waiving. I thought the town was possesed by happy demons or something. And the "Opener", that was a day in which the school would close....half the teachers and nearly all the students stayed out, and that includes most of the girls and absolutely all the other guys....here I was, a poor "yankee" in a school where all my classmates for the day were female......not a bad thing I admit, but it was embarassing the next day when I couldnt brag about how many points my buck had......

[Fast Hands]

Originally posted by Pyrius: ....here I was, a poor "yankee" in a school where all my classmates for the day were female......not a bad thing I admit, but it was embarassing the next day when I couldnt brag about how many points my buck had......

[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] That's hilarious, Pyrius. So, did you ever end up going hunting while you lived there? I don't hunt much because we get so many city people that like to come out and do that for us.
On a similar note, I did have to shoot a porcupine out of a tree in our yard today. Now I really feel like a country bumpkin. [img]graemlins/uhoh1.gif[/img] Hey--you do what you gotta do I guess!