03-02-2004, 07:41 AM | #1 |
Elminster
Join Date: December 9, 2003
Location: England (Ex-pat Aussie)
Age: 61
Posts: 447
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A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' "
"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?" One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"
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"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." -- William James |
03-02-2004, 08:56 AM | #2 |
Takhisis Follower
Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
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LOL! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] nice one
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Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray |
03-02-2004, 09:37 AM | #3 |
Vampire
Join Date: January 29, 2003
Location: Sweden
Age: 43
Posts: 3,888
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Good one!
[ 03-02-2004, 09:37 AM: Message edited by: Stratos ]
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Nothing is impossible, it's just a matter of probability. |
03-02-2004, 10:35 AM | #4 |
Elminster
Join Date: December 9, 2003
Location: England (Ex-pat Aussie)
Age: 61
Posts: 447
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Elementary, My Dear Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
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"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." -- William James |
03-02-2004, 11:47 AM | #5 |
Jack Burton
Join Date: July 19, 2003
Location: an expat living in France
Age: 38
Posts: 5,577
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ROFLMAO. Both were good.
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03-02-2004, 11:55 AM | #6 |
Harper
Join Date: October 6, 2001
Location: Iceland
Posts: 4,706
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That second one was voted as the best joke ever in a poll that was made... [img]smile.gif[/img]
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03-02-2004, 12:48 PM | #7 |
Zartan
Join Date: May 20, 2003
Location: Near Aberdeen, Scotland
Age: 34
Posts: 5,225
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heard the second before, but both were good!
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[img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/dragonwater2.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> |
03-02-2004, 02:15 PM | #8 |
Apophis
Join Date: July 29, 2003
Location: The Underdark cavern of Zagreb
Age: 37
Posts: 4,679
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Heard them before, but it never hurts to hear great jokes again.
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MAKE LOVE, NOT SPAM! |
03-02-2004, 02:46 PM | #9 |
Apophis
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The second one was most popular in England, yes? I really like it.
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http://cavestory.org PLAY THIS GAME. Seriously. http://xkcd.com/386/ http://www.xkcd.com/406/ My heart is like my coffee. Black, bitter, icy, and with a straw. |
03-02-2004, 03:00 PM | #10 |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
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Skippy, are you a teacher?! I heard that first joke so many times from different teachers of mine. Oh well, the second was funny, though.
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