03-04-2001, 10:00 PM | #1 |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
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Author: high
Date: 3/3/01 2:01:00 PM Subject: elminster v raistlin i thought this was pretty funny. and why not break up the monotony of talking about the game Hello there folks, I'm Nick Diamond." "And I'm Johny Gomez, and this is" C E L E B R I T Y D E A T H M A T C H Nick: We have an interesting card tonight.. Johnny That we do Nick. Two of the most famous, popular and powerful wizards from the world's of D&D have come to settle once and for all who's the baddest of the bad in the spell flinging world. Nick That's right Johnny. Man I can't wait to see this one. Fans of Dragonlance and the Forgotten Realms have been chomping at the bit for years to see who would come out on top in this one, and they've come out in force... [Camera cuts to the audience, a bunch of FR fans are chanting Elminster... On the opposite side, a bunch of DL fans root for Raistlin] Johnny Man, they sure are pumped. Now lets go to Stacey Cornfed down in the Locker Room with Elminster [Stacey is at the door of Elminster's Locker room. She knocks.] Voice: Go away, Elminster is not here Stacey: I was told he would be.. Can I come in Voice: No! Stacey Please? Lhaeo opens the door, adjust his glasses I said no. He can't be bothered right now. Stacey Ooh.. It's Elminster's famous scribe, Lhaeo. Tell us, Mr Lhaeo, if you could, about Elminster's training regimen for this evening. Lhaeo slams the door in her face Stacey Well, I never! [Back to Nick Diamond and Johnny Gomez] Nick That Elminster was never known for suffering guests. Johnny That's true, but he just set a new record for rudeness to our favorite color journalist, Stacey. [Lights go down on the ring.] Johnny Ah, and now the moment you've been waiting for.. In this corner, from parts unknown of the world of Krynn.. The hourglassed eyed wonder-elf of the ages, Raistlin Majere [Raistlin is sitting on a chair reading a book, with no apparent concern for the situation] Nick Never seen anyone that calm.. He cold freeze the ring with his cool. Johnny And in this corner, The infamous powerhouse of Toril, Mystra's chosen and all around do-gooder, Elminster. [Elminster appears using his worldwalk spell. Seems a bit more pugnacious and ready to rumble than Raistlin.] Nick Boy, I really wouldn't want to be on his badside.. Johnny And now for our special guest referee.. [Masked figure in robes steps into the center spotlight. There is a hush. The mask is taken off, and it is.. Nick Why, It's Gandalf! Johnny That it is Nick! Elminster stomps to the center of the ring That's it.. Now I've me chance, I am sick and tired and fed up with always bein' compared witht the likes of you!! [Gandalf looks at him funny. Raistlin ignores both of them and continues reading a book in the corner] Gandalf Raistlin, it's time to start. [Raistlin yawns. While Gandalf's back is turned to him, Elminster clobbers him with a huge lightning bolt from behind, vaporizing him. Raistlin eyeballs the spectacle] Elminster Yes! YES! I always knew I was the most powerful, I MUST ALWAYS BE most powerful.. Mwa ha hah ha!! Raistlin Whatever [Elminster shoots off another bolt, Raistlin sidesteps it and replies.. Ensuing melee has misses that take out vast swathes of audience.] Nick Boy what a show Johnny Yes sir. Have you ever seen any two wizards cast as many spells in as little time. Nick No Johnny.. Reminds me of Paris on the New Years spectacle a couple of months ago.. Johnny Yeah, it's a regular 4th of July down there [One of Raistlin's missed bolts passes into the audience and blows Volo's head clean off. Elminster pauses] Elminster Thanks man. I've wanted to do that for quite a while, but never had the heart. Raistlin Don't [kicks him in the groin] mention it. Nick Now they must be running low on spells.. Taking to the old rough and tumble Johnny Yes they are [Suddenly, from out of the lights, a beam lashes out and vaporizes Raistlin... Elminster looks up, then gets vaporized by another beam.] Nick & Johnny What the?? [A figure floats down to the center of the audience.] Johnny Who the? Nick Why, it's Merlin. Old Merlin.. I was wondering when he'd finally wake up and do something after all these years. Merlin looks around, sneers... Pretenders. Nick Well, it looks like we have a winner Johnny That we do Nick... The original himself, and still champion wizard of all time, Merlin. Nick That's all we have tonight folks.. Stay tuned next week when we pit the Balrog against the Tarrasque Johnny But for now this is Celebrity Deathmatch Nick I'm Nick Diamond Johnny And I'm Johnny Gomez saying Good Fight, Good Night... |
03-04-2001, 10:13 PM | #2 |
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Delaware OH USA
Age: 47
Posts: 3,168
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Hey, 250, if you are looking to break up the monotony, try the general discussion forum. Lots of fun . . . and this part is really for BGII gaming questions. Trust me, it is a lot easier this way, and keeps everyone happy.
BK ________ Clr Last edited by Black Knight; 03-21-2011 at 05:04 AM. |
03-05-2001, 04:03 AM | #3 | |
Ironworks Moderator
Join Date: February 28, 2001
Location: Boston/Sydney
Posts: 11,771
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Quote:
------------------ Memnoch - Custodian of the Holy Flame |
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