Sad Poems

[Charlie]

This is my work. I posted one before. Please don't read too much into the poetry. It's true that I write mainly when blue but it's just poetry (I think). They are both essentially first draughts.

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Depression

Depression
My mental obsession,
with all that's wrong,
because it isn't and wasn't,
and I used to but can not,
move forward...just backwards
and the rant
goes

on and on

Downtrodden and heavily laden,
a psychological back that's breaking,
my thirst for doom, my airtight cocoon,
there's no longer room........... for intelligent thought,
I'm deep deep down, I'm well caught,
I've got the wounds now where's the salt,
lemme rub it into myself...
and the rant
goes

on and on

My heart was big, my mind was bright,
both are sunk, there's no daylight,
off the handle at the slightest slight,
all my days now turn to nights,
can't seem to see nothing right,
only my own personal blight,
pushed my good side outta sight,
and the rant
goes

on and on

Used to be flesh and bone,
now listen to my chest . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. . .. .
that's a heart of stone,
it doesn't beat, it murmurs, whines,
pounding for the happier times,
before I was a victim of this poxy crime,
that turned its will to bend my mind,
my skull bound prison with no outside,
no clear windows, no open blinds,
can't seem to find my vital signs,
the happy stuff I left behind,
the good stuff is now defiled,
I get so angry, so ■■■■■■■ riled,
at nothing....
because I see nothing....
I only know nothing...
I only want nothing...
won't be happy till I have nothing,
I now have nothing...

nothing
nothing
down
down
d
o
w
n
.
and the rant goes...

on and on

I can't be helped you know,
nope, this is my own show,
my hammerblow
to my own head,
upon the terrible thoughts I've fed,
my fears and worries, my personal dreads,
and all the nice things that left my head....

(Aahhh but they didn't....you just can't see them today...they are there...wake up.....wake up.....grow.....grow....remember...)

Huh, a voice in the wilderness..... I need to remember this,
because somewhere inside there are happier times,
the lines on my face will go without trace,
and maybe a smile will grace my face...

Just not today...

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Suicide

Today I took my life away,
what did I do..what can I say.
Wish I could have found another way,
To be here tomorrow, not yesterday.

I couldn't run with the flow,
I had to flee, I had to go,
I wasn't mainstream....If you see what I mean,
It may seem that I'm mean...
But I'm not.

Just lost in a world of forget me nots,
peaks and troughs, I can only see what I've lost,
never what I've gained,
I remember my pains, and the dormant thoughts,
I look at myself and I see the warts...
and all...

Now I hear the call....


I took my own life.
.
.
.
.
.
.
YOU FOOL YOU FOOL!!!....
come the words to my ears,
of my peers...

And they were right.

I've blamed everyone, been so uptight,
I thought I had the God given right,
to torture you all, now it's all my fault,
and upon my own web I'm now caught...
.
.
I'm stuck, I'm stranded...I'm going...
.
.
Going
.
.
I have been such a fool,
I didn't know how to make the call,
I walked crouched instead of tall,
my minds jester has had a ball,
.
.
.
the jester plays his final hand,
a poor one....
and so departs this land.
.
.
.

It's not the way,
I see that now,
I've been a pig, a proper sow,
nothing else can hurt me now....

....

Idiot I am...

....

But too late...

....

I'm dead

....

and gone

....

and buried

....

Wish I had a tomorrow,
but now only yesterdays are mine,
Oh man life was so sublime,
but it's now lost,
and what a cost,
and so somehow,
I'm gone,
no warmth,
.
.
see the worry upon my brow...
.
.

I am fading now...
.....
....
...
..
.
into..
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.memory...
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please....
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.try.....
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to......
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remember me.......


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Sometimes I think my work is shit and my words don't deserve to grace a page, poetic or otherwise. I'm not fishing for compliments, just saying don't get upset if I have a mad one and delete it as I seem to do lately.

[Horatio]

Your work is very good. Have you considered publishing on a poetry site?

[Stormymystic]

Charlie, the same goes for you that everone says about me( I do not belive them though) you are a great poet and should not delet any of them, if i did that, i would never had made Please tell my kids so make them post them,and be glad you share them, you never know who you might touch with it, and you may save a life

[ 04-23-2003, 07:58 PM: Message edited by: Stormymystic ]