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Old 02-09-2003, 10:25 AM   #21
Davros
Takhisis Follower
 

Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Mandurah, West Australia
Age: 60
Posts: 5,073
Quote:
Originally posted by Barry the Sprout:
(Davros - feel free to PM me anytime
[img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] - done
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Old 02-09-2003, 10:31 AM   #22
Memnoch
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: February 28, 2001
Location: Boston/Sydney
Posts: 11,771
Quote:
Originally posted by Barry the Sprout:
As you point out, I'm defending friends from a series of misinterpretations and outright lies. The problem is that I felt I had to post publicly about it as a lot of people were getting the wrong idea. I couldn't simply e-mail the people saying Adam was being manipulative as there was quite a few people saying it! It seems to be a general view here that its ok to be generally quite nasty to banned people, which when you think about it is slightly dodgy as they are the people least able to actually defend themselves against allegations.
OK, you've had your chance to post your rebuttal, which is fair enough, you're entitled to that. You're doing so in a calm manner, anyway. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Quote:

But my problem is not something for the mods to solve I think. I don't want stuff deleted, or people banned. I wanted to publicly dispel some myths. Simply e-mailing you and telling you I wasn't happy probably wouldn't have done the trick. Like it or not this is a fairly public matter and I think it can only be dealt with publicly. If people don't want to look at this kind of stuff then I'm sorry but I'm not entirely sure how this can really ruin someones day - reading some hippy nuts posts defending his mates is hardly going to put you on a downer for the day. Well, I hope not. If it does then I'm sorry, that wasn't the intention.
You are right in that your problem is not for the mods to solve. Ultimately we are here to enforce forum policy, not mediate in spats or personal disagreements between members. If you feel quite strongly about the issue (which is understandable) then I suggest you try and organize all parties together in an MSN chat to nut the whole thing out. MY interest is in making sure that Ironworks forum doesn't get disrupted or used as some kind of neutral negotiating ground or whatever. I'm sure you can understand this. [img]smile.gif[/img]

And I wasn't talking about your post annoying people - it was all that garbage that purre posted last night. I'm actually quite disappointed in her - I thought she had more commonsense than to do that. Oh, well.

And on this note, let's bring the thread back on topic, eh. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 02-09-2003, 10:34 AM: Message edited by: Memnoch ]
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Old 02-09-2003, 10:34 AM   #23
Barry the Sprout
White Dragon
 

Join Date: October 19, 2001
Location: York, UK.
Age: 41
Posts: 1,815
Quote:
Originally posted by Davros:
Quote:
Originally posted by Barry the Sprout:
(Davros - feel free to PM me anytime
[img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] - done[/QUOTE]And when I get a chance I'll reply to it!
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Old 02-09-2003, 10:43 AM   #24
Epona
Zartan
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: London, England
Age: 53
Posts: 5,164
Just also like to give a thumbs up to meeting people you talk to online, whether as friends or more.

It's no different really than meeting people in a bar or any other place - when you first meet anyone, you don't know that much about them, whether it's face to face or not.

I've now met up in person with something in the region of 40 people that I first spoke to online, from IW and another London based site that I visit (about 15 from IW, and the majority from the latter site, as most of the posters are Londoners it's very easy to have get togethers, and parties and pub meet ups take place every couple of weeks, they're a very social bunch!)

I can honestly say that out of those 40 or so people, not a single one has misrepresented themselves online. There's the inevitable 'oh he/she is shorter than I imagined' or 'hello mate, I never imagined you with a beard' that sort of thing, but that's all part of the fun. Everyone I've met up with has just been an ordinary decent person, with ordinary decent motives.

The people from IW that I have met I had talked to for over a year online before ever meeting, and can honestly say that we were all friends in the truest sense before we met in person. Meeting up has, in every case, been like meeting a good mate that you haven't seen for a while. Yes, my mates back home thought it was a bit odd, risky even, especially making 2 trips overseas to meet up with a couple of groups of people, but if they are so suspicious of people who use the internet it is their loss. For me, meeting online friends has been a great experience, and it will continue to be so.

Good luck to all the couples who have met online, especially to my good friends Cloudy and Nacht, they are making it happen, and I wish them every success and happiness. [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 02-09-2003, 11:10 AM   #25
Charlie
Lord Ao
 

Join Date: March 3, 2001
Location: London, England
Age: 30
Posts: 2,021
Sometimes you get to meet the real person on the net, sometimes not. It's a judgement call sometimes. Say you're in a nightclub pissed out of your head, and the girl is pissed out of hers, you talk bollocks she talks bollocks we all talk bollocks. Are these the real people?

It can actually be beneficial imho to talk/meet over the net. You can be brutally honest. Obviously meeting in the flesh adds a new dimension. The relationship wasn't necessarily founded when paralytic drunk (not that all are). People can share and be more open over the net....a bit like alcohol but without the side effects. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 02-09-2003, 11:11 AM: Message edited by: Charlie ]
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Old 02-09-2003, 06:50 PM   #26
Wulfere
Red Wizard of Thay
 

Join Date: March 20, 2001
Location: Lincoln, Nebraska USA
Age: 63
Posts: 893
I am one of those people who met someone over the net. My girlfriend and I just recently were married. You will of course be shocked to hear that her mother, when she first told her that she was meeting me said, and I quote...

"He isn't an Axe Murder is he?" [img]graemlins/saywhat.gif[/img]

Well, since I haven't chopped her up yet her mother has agreed I might be ok. [img]smile.gif[/img]
We have travelled to Castlegar BC Canada, Estevan Sask. Canada, Las Vegas and Dallas/Ft Worth for meetings and even weddings of our online friends. I have only met one person out of all these who was a little dodgy. I say a little. Most are hard working and decent folks who are just looking for someone to talk to.

Unfortunately though there is a perception, mostly driven by the press reports of murders and other such horrors, that many people online are goofballs or wackos. I haven't found this to be true. Until the press starts publishing some good stories about internet relationships this perception will no doubt continue.

Oh well, time to go sharpen my axe...or is that machette?
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Old 02-09-2003, 07:49 PM   #27
Cloudbringer
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Upstate NY USA
Posts: 19,737
One thing I'll say about interent romance/meetings is that I noticed a tendency to be more open and more intense early on in the relationship. This was true for myself and Nacht and I've seen it happen in many other cases. You tell each other more things early on that you might NOT mention for months in a 'dating in person' relationship.

How many people discuss their entire dating past and the good/bad aspects of most 'ex'es before the third month of dating? Nacht and I had exchanged all that and a whole lot more by the second month of talking with one another and by the third we were sure we needed to meet in person to see if it could work out longer term. Now, I think in some ways that is good, but in others it wasn't. For instance he and I didn't have the whole 'dating' thing, where you gradually get used to each others little habits and ways of doing things.

I don't know that it's for everyone, there were good and bad things about starting a romance online. Right now he and I are trying to work on all the things we missed by not 'dating' in person.

As Hunter pointed out, there are a lot of horror stories too. Nacht actually experienced one long before he and I met, so I can vouch for them exisiting.
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Old 02-09-2003, 08:28 PM   #28
Calaethis Dragonsbane
Legion Symbol
 

Join Date: May 29, 2002
Location: Somewhere in between
Age: 39
Posts: 7,029
Quote:
Originally posted by Kaltia:
I recently met my boyfriend, "Calaethis Dragonsbane" in london. It was fantastic! There are internet success stories. I think I'm one of them so nyuh [img]tongue.gif[/img]
LOL, I'm flattered. I certainly hope it was a success We'll have to meet up again sometime soon *winkwinknudgenude*
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Old 02-09-2003, 08:29 PM   #29
Attalus
Symbol of Bane
 

Join Date: November 26, 2001
Location: Texas
Age: 75
Posts: 8,167
Well you should be old boy ... uh, why are you nudging me in the ribs?
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Old 02-10-2003, 03:00 AM   #30
Memnoch
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: February 28, 2001
Location: Boston/Sydney
Posts: 11,771
Quote:
Originally posted by Cloudbringer:

How many people discuss their entire dating past and the good/bad aspects of most 'ex'es before the third month of dating?
Weeeelll...

I did that with Taryn during the first month of dating... [img]redface.gif[/img]

Ahem!
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