Software & Hardware issues

[Zidane]

A friend is having trouble with his system. Last year he upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which he'd used for years without trouble. However, apparently there are conflicts between these two systems, the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

But to make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as; Lads Night Out 3.1, Golf 2.0 and Playboy 6.0.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better, Girlfriend 3.0 has many bugs and left a virus in his system, forcing him to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually he tried installing Girlfriend 2.1 as well as Girlfriend 1.0 only to discover when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all his hardware.

Sensing a way out, he upgraded to Fiancé 1.0 only to discover to his dismay that this system requires rapid upgrading to Wife 1.0. However, whilst Wife 1.0 uses up all available resources it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse 2000.

But imagine my friend's disappointment though on discovering Wife 1.0 can be unstable and costly to maintain, any mistakes he makes are automatically stored in Wife 1.0 Hardrive and can not be deleted - they then re-surface months later. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic InterDiary Explorer and E-mailPornFilter. Wife 1.0 also automatically runs PhotoSTROP and WINGEzip and no option on the Help menu seems to work, leaving him to try and GUESS the fault himself.

The system footprint needs updating regularly requiring Shoeshop Browser Pro for new attachments - Hairstyle Express needs to be reinstalled every week. It also refused some of the new Games and attachments he wanted to try, stating they are an illegal operation.

When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to Lotus Car 1.0 it often crashes or runs the system dry.

Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-law, which can't be turned off. Recently he's been tempted to try Mistress 2000 add-on, but there could be problems. If Wife 1.0 detects the presence of mistress 2000, it will delete all MS Money files before un-installing itself.

Howzat?

Lady Zidane

This was sent to be by a male friend of mine, even though I am a gal I was highly amused.

[ 05-10-2002, 02:46 PM: Message edited by: Zidane ]

[Talthyr Malkaviel]

LOL, that ones been around a while know, but I still laugh at that one.

[Beltazar]

Yea, thats been around for a long time, And I think rudy posted it last november? Am I right rudy? (nov 2001)

[Zidane]

Yeah but I only joined in January 2002.

Geez, yer gotta be psychic now?

Lady Zidane

Anyway as soon as one of me mates sends me an email I cut and paste it and send it on, I don't know if these things have whiskers on or not.

LZ

[Zidane]

I suppose you have heard this one as well!!!!

A Police officer pulls over a speeding car on the Freeway.

The officer says, " I clocked you at 130 kph. sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 100, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her magazine the wife says sweetly, "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did"

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glares at his wife and says through clenched teeth,

Dammit woman, can't you keep your trap shut."

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $100 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now dear you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

As the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE F*#K UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Oh heavens no, officer" she replied "only when he's pissed."

Lady Zidane

[ 05-10-2002, 02:48 PM: Message edited by: Zidane ]

[Talthyr Malkaviel]

LOL, I hadn't heard that one yet [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]