08-23-2001, 01:47 PM | #21 | |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
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you are not along in the world, brother. most children develope more or less kind speech disorder during their years of learning language. I dont know the exact figures, but even adults tend to be stuttering when they are under extreme pressure of course, it is not the same for everyone. as most children adopted a more completed and stronger personality when they walk into adulthood, they could rid of themselves the problem of stuttering. stuttering is not something formed in one day. when a child is young, the often discourage behaviors from parents, especially mother, can cause a damage in the language learning process. because mother is the first teacher that a child contacts, and mother expresses her own idea of the world by constantly talking to her child. if parents are impatience, not-observant to the many common speech problems that a child might have, the child will be fearful of communication around others, etc of course, that is not the only reason why someone stutters. but remember that, most stuters are not pre-linguistically disabled. it is something called Fear that masters your situation, and more than often, stutters know this. knowing doesn't equal to improving until one is determined to face his fear. i will give you some simple tips that you might find useful: first of all, list a series of situations that you might find difficulty stand, from the lowest to the highest, and i will use my case here: 1. talking to a new friend when we are alone 2. talking in front of mroe than two friends 3. talking to a complete stranger (most of the time, professor) 4. talking to a group of unfamiliar people 5. making presentation in class start with the first, and patiently but firmly advance. DO NOT be afraid to talk. if you think you have the potential to talk to certain people, and at the same time, you fear is telling you to get the hell out. DONT, try start some short conversations, then build it longer as you get used to it. just remember, the best way to battle fear is to stand up and face it. of course, you must know your limit and take time in the process. be ready, it is long. second tip is: imagine someone that is confidence, Shalock Homles (sp?), Winston Churchil (sp?), one fo your best friend (maybe?) and always think about how those people do things third tip: constantly encourage yourself. you need a possitve attitude to face your problem, and you must know it will not go away itself until you do something about it. just remember to say those phrases everyday:" I will remain calm and confidence. even if I screw up a conversation, I woudn't care about it." something like that, and of course, you must firmly believe what you say. one last advice, DO NOT EVER SHUT YOURSELF FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD. this is a warning, a suggestion and a painful experience I got from the past. DO NOT EVER!! |
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08-23-2001, 01:48 PM | #22 | |
Zhentarim Guard
Join Date: August 11, 2001
Location: St. George Utah USA
Posts: 331
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08-23-2001, 01:48 PM | #23 | |
Very Mad Bird
Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam)
Age: 52
Posts: 9,246
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Quote:
------------------ I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... A fair dinkum laughing Hyena! [This message has been edited by Yorick (edited 08-23-2001).] |
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08-23-2001, 02:05 PM | #24 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Doing the things I dont want to do and not doing the things I want to do...
------------------ *\Conan/* |
08-23-2001, 02:28 PM | #25 |
Lord Soth
Join Date: March 5, 2001
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,948
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Like Kaz mentioned, I get sucked into arguements too quickly. I could just be walking down the street and I hear two people arguing about something, and I think one of them's wrong, there is a very good chance I will jump in there and donate my 2 cents to the conversation. I am also kinda defensive when someone questions my judgement/actions.
------------------ "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his." -General George Patton (1885-1945) Member of CLAN HADB |
08-23-2001, 02:40 PM | #26 | |
Zhentarim Guard
Join Date: June 23, 2001
Location: Aberystwyth, Wales
Posts: 396
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I know where you're coming from, and have written long poems myself to vent the sheer anguish I have felt from just looking at a woman. If she strikes the right chords in me, I'm right there with you. Can't concentrate, can't think straight, can't even talk. Like I said, a blessing and a curse. Enjoy the zest for life it gives you. But don't loose the important elements that make you you because of it. ------------------ "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." |
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08-23-2001, 02:48 PM | #27 | |
Ironworks Moderator
Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Midlands, South Carolina
Age: 48
Posts: 14,759
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That is an awsome term...passionate. Thank you for that. Maybe I should take up poetry or painting... I am glad to know that I have someone to share all these wonderful angels with... ------------------ Devoted member of the Ironworks Loyal guardian of the OHF Member of the Ancients' club Faith beset in The Rocks (they show the way, you know...) |
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08-23-2001, 02:52 PM | #28 | |
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
Join Date: August 16, 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 2,891
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Quote:
I doubt stuttering will disappear in my case because when it does it almost always does it before the age of twelve or so. After that the problem simply disappearing is EXTREMELY rare. I manage quite well by now, i actually TALK in class and managed a PRESENTATION last year, something i am still very proud of. However, i basically cannot talk in front of strangers and my greatest fear is and remains - the oral test at the end of this year. I believe the only thing I will be able to say there is |
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08-23-2001, 03:48 PM | #29 | |
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
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Quote:
well, alot people are like you, stutter or none-stutter alike the point is, try to engage yourself with other people more here is some typical thoughts when someone is shy "help me, help me please... dont walk away from me, i want to talk to you, i am just too shy and embarassed to talk, please please please talk to me...." or "i will start a conversation with her... wait, what if she thinks i am not cool, what if she laughs at me... or damn, there are so many people around... go away... talk to her, no, not talk to her, no talk to her... " what i found useful is: try to engage a conversation with 3 ppl of different age and gender each day... doesnt have to be long for example, you stand in line to purchase fast food, this is a VERY reasonable and good opportunity to engage conversation with your front or behind person. you should start with short but clear messages, such as: "hello, how are you?" "the line is not moving" "like the food here?" "got milk? (just kidding)" the key is, use this kinda progressive language to FORCE the other person follow the conversation and then, there is another thing i learnt is, never use negative answers |
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08-23-2001, 04:03 PM | #30 |
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
Join Date: August 16, 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 2,891
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Er... i think stutterers have a bit more difficulty with that than normal shy people (even THINKING of doing something like that gets me into a panic. A friend of mine who also stutters was very proud of, even (unconsciously) bragged about answering the phone one day instead of having someone else do it. Heck, whenever I have to make a telephone call i think, word for word, what im going to say. And practice. That should tell you something of us - where normal people think oh god ill say something stupid stutterers think oh god ill stutter and everyone will look at me strangely and think im crazy. If youre nervous you stutter more and worse than when youre not. Still thanks for the suggestion, maybe ill be able to work myself up to do it one day. I never meant to write so much but since other people are revealing embarassing aspects of themselves i guess i will too.
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