A Story for Fun

[Ladyzekke]

Ah it was cold as a witch's teat it was. Hello, my name is Ladyzekke, and I'm just an observer to this story adventure. I found myself on this island, very close to where the legendary Atlantis fell into the ocean. Tis a great island, the dragons that live on it apparently feel fondness for other smaller species. I was allowed to reside in a very nice cave on this Unnamed Island, although the voices of all the ghost sometimes keeps me from sleeping properly. It is a seemingly vast land void of much life, but that of course is just a misconception. The trails of yellow snow tells some story, but alas I do not know what. I hear a strange noise, a repetitive noise, although it varies from time to time. I run and hide back into my cave haven, and run up into the top level fissure, and look out a hole, seeing from high above all around me. And I spy, yes I spy with my little eye, and what is it I see?

[Charlie]

He followed the yellow snow trail, desperate to eat. The wind bit through the leather jerkin as if it didn't exist. The crystal moon rose chill and high, casting crisp and cold shadows, each crunching upon the ground with every silent step. He sought out his friend, mighty adventurer and ocassional lover "Lil Harbour". Lilly Harbour, Paladin and drunken wench par excellence. Could kill a man, forgive herself and then turn the murdered mans bones off out of it to boot...what a gal. She had a great assortment.

This was a dangerous place for a liaison. Obviously flagons of finest ale had played a part in this meeting.

The hard frost bit through the soft skin of his boots. "Ahh these boots, these boots" he thought, his mind drifted. He was happy to have them. This mornings run in with knobbler the gnome had left him dizzy for a good time. Knobbler had tried to knobble him.

Gnomes can be wicked and today he had been tricked into paying his hard earned G.P for a pair of boots of speed that weren't. He started with a right boot of speed and a left boot of stop. He walked in rapid circles on the spot for nearly twenty minutes trying to target the hysterical gnome until by pure good fortune he collapsed through exhaustion and the boot of speed flew off hitting Knobbler square in the mouth....

His mind returned from his drifting but his face still smiled at the thought of Knobbler chewing rapidly on a boot of speed....no teeth...it was a steel toe capped hobnailed boot of speed.

Secretly he was gutted that he couldn't get a pair of boots of speed but one would have to do. Knobbler gave him a boot of stealth and a *MAGIC WAND* for his troubles.

Now, as he limped his unevenly boot balanced way towards creepy castle.... all stealthy like in his boot of stealth, and all noisy like in his hobnailed boot of speed..

ker....lunkkk....ker....lunkkk....ker....lunkkk

The wind bit deeper now, he quickened his pace...

ker..lunkk..ker..lunkk..ker..lunkk

Noises now?.....In the distance?........"Harken" shouts his adventurers mind. He quickens his pace...

kerlunkk..kerlunkk..kerlunkk

The nights grog now sloshed from side to side within his head. He had hoped to meet Lil Harbour near the Drain of Atlantis, the fabled but unfound entrance to Creepy Castle. He needed to find that drain now.....he needed to puke....He quickened his pace...

Klunkitty klunk.klunkitty klunk.klunkitty klunk

He hopes he sees Lil soon. A slow fog descends. Oh CRIPES!!! He needs to puke fair enough...but now....oh no....Oh God NO. The involuntary clenching of the arsecheeks said it all. He quickened his pace...

Klunkittyklunkityyklunkittyklunkittyklunkitty

He hopped along now at fair pace grasping his arse and his wand, the towering but somewhat unenterable Creepy castle loomed...

Our paperless adventure needs an opening..

HE SEES A SHADOW IN THE DISTANCE, HIS PACE QUICKENS...

[ 03-07-2003, 10:48 PM: Message edited by: Charlie ]

[Downunda]

Lil' had goosebumps... she was also beggining to get a bit cold. The effects of the ale was wearing off and He was meant to have been at the drain a good half hour ago.
As she was contemplating whether or not He was worth it, Miss Harbour heard first a *hih...BLEEEEEAUGH* quickly followed by a noise that sounded not unlike a horse blowing raspberries. This second sound went on for a very long time. A very long time. "I smell an adventure" She exclaimed, drew her sword and proceeded to investigate...

[ 03-07-2003, 11:22 PM: Message edited by: Downunda ]

[Charlie]

The dark figure came slowly down the hillside...sillouhetted by the unforgiving moon. He watched and waited, tense now..

He crouched lower, body sprung and ready to let rip. The figure descended.
He could see the calculated steps, heard the steel sing as it was drawn from its scabbard.

Close now...can't make out male or female...but closer...sword, he can see the sword.

Closer now(**hushhhhhh**)..(**complete silence**)..He crouched lower, he strained...all ears strained..

NOW CLOSE..on top almost..(**HUssshhhh, hush...silence**) He crouches, he strains.

He can smell it, the smell of his assailant....(Shussssshhh)....PPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRUUU URRRRHGGHHFFTTT

He wishes he hadn't crouched or strained. Now every one can smell it...The birds have left the trees through the sonic boom...

As the water in his eyes clears...he looks up....He sees

[ 03-08-2003, 12:08 AM: Message edited by: Charlie ]

[/)eathKiller]

A sign bore into the ground on a wooden steak reading "Do not eat the yellow snow" written in a substance, either red paint... or blood... A parakeet flutters down from the sky and lands atop the sign... it opens its mouth to speak and says," ...

[Charlie]

it opens its mouth to speak and says," ...

"THAT STINKS......What have you eaten man?"

[Ladyzekke]

"Ahhh" says Ladyzekke, "Cavern Sniffer has come. This situation is more dire than I thought." Ladyzekke looks around at her rock cave sanctuary, thinks of the dragons, wonders if they would be able to stand up to the Cavern Sniffer without pissing themselves and running in fear and confusion. Hmmmm...

Still though, there remains the quandry of the yellow snow, does it have anything to do with this story I don't know, but there it is, and oh,.. don't eat it.

[WOLFGIR]

Suddenly there is a sob inside the cavern.. a long pained howl...
Soooohoooooooowllllllllooooooorrrryyy....... Hoooowlingagoooooony....

Inside the cavern sits flat on his ass a wolf and looks at his collection of a bottenbroken barrel. On the side of the barrel a "happy font" provclaims this barrel to be full of the finest Mexican beer Sol. The sun on the side doesn´t give away the color of the beer, but the trail leading into the cavern does...

MY BEEEEEEER IS ALL GONE!! *sob*

Suddenly the wolf hops up, chases his tail and do wolf/dog things, scratching behind ears that is..

Bah, where is my freind? The vodka gurgling Samurai? He was supposed to come here and party... :S

Hmm.. whozzat? I think I see a kungfu gal outside the cavern.. Slowly takes a peek outside..

Yikes.. it is cold outside, all this snow.. absentmindedly the wolf jumps out takes a deep dive into the snow and starts to chase snowflings.. er Hello there he say lokking up and watches the people gathered there..

What the heck is that smell??

[LordKathen]

**We see a large man walking up with a bunch of small hairy creatures running about at his side**

"Oh, thats just my gibbies, dont mind them. Hey are you ok in there, all that howling and all... Is there anything I can get for you?

[ 03-10-2003, 04:18 AM: Message edited by: LordKathen ]

[Charlie]

Originally posted by LordKathen: Is there anything I can get for you?

"Err, some toilet paper would be handy" came the meek answer.
"Nope, it's ok, I found a sturdy leaf, I'll use this".
He glanced up now at the parakeet that had watched his never ending motions. A deft flick and the startled parakeet flew in circles. The leaf had caught him perfectly on the side of the beak, the buttered side had stuck to him solid and the overhanging leaf obscured his vision. He flew in circles squawking and gagging and then...zzzzoooooooommmmmmm..BANG.

The light left him....

Some many hours later his thoughts returned, incoherent. Had he really dreamt of a shit billed parrot headbutting him at 60MPH?

Horror...the stinking feathers in his nose and the throbbing in his forehead told him he was the most unlucky man on the planet. Gingerly he looked at the reflection in his shield. Oh shite, this is baaad. This shite filled parakeet is going to have to be surgically removed. No tugging this one out.

How could he the mighty adventurer go trudging into town with a dead shite parrot stuck to his head? This was turning into a real shite day. Only thing for it is to seek out psycho the shaman....but where?

He threw the parrots dead carcass back over his CROWn, beak still embedded in his forehead. At least he now had a rather fetching Toucan looking haircut...no..Mohican he meant. A dead shite green mohican haircut....at least he could see.

Lucky no one else had seen he guessed. If anyone rumbled it was a parrot he was gonna tell em it was a kamikaze parrot and he wore it as a trophy.

Samurai, hmm, that word. And Sniffer and Lil....GOD where was Lil....and the big man offering bog paper...and the gibbies. Oh double cripes, don't say they all saw what went on with the shite parrot?

This day was pure shite. Best make his way to the unfound drain. The day couldn't get any worse.

He looks again at the yellow snow, hunger burns. Shakes the vision off, he pulls his jerkin close now and moves off......

"OHHHH SSHHIITTTTEE".

Our adventurer has just realised he's shite in his own boot of stealth.

The shout has been heard far and wide

[ 03-10-2003, 04:06 PM: Message edited by: Charlie ]