Things That Women Say... :)

Charean · 06-10-2001, 08:31 PM

Bright Women (and apparently one bright man or a woman named John - ker)

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another
country. ~Elayne Boosler

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. ~ Helen Hayes
(at 73)

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. ~
Janette Barber

Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm
supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. ~Jan King

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. ~ Lily Tomlin

You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman?
It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears. ~ Geri
Jewell

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. ~Carrie
Snow

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. ~
Laurie Kuslansky

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head
on the top bunk bed until I faint. ~ Erma Bombeck

Old age ain't no place for sissies. ~ Bette Davis

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. ~
Rhonda Hansome

The phrase "working mother" is redundant. ~ Jane Sellman

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. ~ Charlotte Whitton

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
once. ~ Jennifer Unlimited

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
warning. ~Catherine Aird

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years
before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
~ Kathy Buckley

Behind every successful woman . . . is a substantial amount of coffee. ~
Stephanie Piro

Behind every successful woman . . . . . . is a basket of dirty laundry. ~
Sally Forth

There are some days I practice positive thinking, and other days I'm not
positive I am thinking. ~ John M. Eades

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart
woman with a dumb guy. ~ Erica Jong

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me
she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels
good for 36 hours. ~ Rita Rudner

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. ~ Wendy Liebman

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. ~ Erma Bombeck

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. ~ Sue
Grafton

I think -- therefore I'm single. ~ Lizz Winstead

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. ~ Maryon Pearson

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. ~ Gilda Radner

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man - if you want anything
done, ask a woman. ~ Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career. ~ Gloria Steinem

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. ~ Gloria Steinem

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which
answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning,
a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every
night. ~ Marie Crelli

Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. ~ Baroness Edith Summerskil

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

------------------

Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... rolling under the table!!
Noticing that the Light has gotten further down a Dark Tunnel than expected... Time to get the Lantern... Knowing sooner or later - I will get to the End of this Tunnel to the Open Air once again...

RudeDawg · 06-10-2001, 08:34 PM

ROTFLMAO !!!

hey, wait.

Am I supposed to be here?

Don't hurt me !

------------------

[This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 06-10-2001).]

Charean · 06-10-2001, 08:35 PM

Hee hee... well you should know what is in our heads...after all, forwarned is forarmed!!

------------------

Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... rolling under the table!!
Noticing that the Light has gotten further down a Dark Tunnel than expected... Time to get the Lantern... Knowing sooner or later - I will get to the End of this Tunnel to the Open Air once again...

DawnChaser · 06-10-2001, 08:41 PM

I like that...

"Hey, that's why your smart friends won't go out with me."

------------------
DawnChaser aka Thanatos (Dispositioner of Souls)

Larry_OHF · 06-10-2001, 08:54 PM

We can always depend on you for a good posting! My wife enjoyed that one!

------------------

Loyal guardian of the OHF
Devoted member of the Ironworks
Only member of the Elite Bodyguard to Rikard (the fool that takes the bullet)
Ertai's back-up
Memnoch's chief look-out
Member of the Ancients club
Witness of the 4,000th post by Cloudposter

Charean · 06-10-2001, 10:29 PM

"We haven't come a long way, we've come a short way. If we hadn't come a short way, no one would be calling us 'baby.'"
- Elizabeth Janeway

"There is no female mind. The brain is not an organ of sex. Might as well speak of a female liver."
- Charlotte Perkins Gillman

"To be meek, patient, tactful, modest, honorable, brave, is not to be either manly or womanly; it is to be humane."
- Jane Harrison

"Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way myself."
- Rita Mae Brown

"Instant gratification takes too long."
- Carrie Fisher

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

"When we talk to God we are praying; when God talks to us, we are schizophrenic."
- Lily Tomlin

"Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies."
- Adrienne Gusoff

"All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific."
- Jane Wagner / Lily Tomlin

"Normal is in the eye of the beholder."
- Whoopi Goldberg

"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."
- Katharine Hepburn

"Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often."
- Mae West

"My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said 'Just wait.'"
- Judy Tenuta

"I think, therefore I'm single."
- Liz Winstead

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
- August Strindberg

"Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels."
- Faith Whittlesey

"I never know how much of what I say is true."
- Bette Midler

"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people."
- Cheris Kramare and Paula Treichler

"I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat."
- Rebecca West

"Feminism is not a doctrine that seeks to confine us but rather a quest we continually define."
- Caroline Soriosis

"My idea of feminism is self-determination, and it's very open-ended: every woman has the right to become herself, and do whatever she needs to do."
- Ani DiFranco

"Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less."
- Susan B. Anthony & Elizabeth Cady Stanton (motto of The Revolution newspaper)

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood."
- Marie Curie

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass."
- Maya Angelou

"I want to walk through life instead of being dragged through it."
- Alanis Morissette

"Nature provides exceptions to every rule."
- Margaret Fuller

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."
- Angela Monet

"Since when do we have to agree with people to defend them from injustice?"
- Lillian Hellman

"Taken out of context I must seem so strange."
- Ani DiFranco, "Fire Door"

"As a woman, I have no country. As a woman my country is the world."
- Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own

"Don't tolerate me as different. Accept me as part of the spectrum of normalcy."
- Ann Northrop

"There is not one female comedian who was beautiful as a little girl."
- Joan Rivers

"Woman must not accept; she must challenge. She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression."
- Margaret Sanger

"Conventionality is not morality."
- Charlotte Brontë

"Any measurement must take into account the position of the observer. There is no such thing as measurement absolute, there is only measurement relative."
- Jeanette Winterson

"If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive."
- Audre Lorde

"Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the president's spouse. I wish him well!"
- Barbara Bush

"Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from."
- Jodie Foster

"You know, I think I could have the cure to AIDS or cancer in my head, but that brain cell is filled instead with old dialogue from the Brady Bunch."
- Mary Newton

"I've never had a humble opinion. If you've got an opinion, why be humble about it?"
- Joan Baez

"Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes."
- Tori Amos

"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."
- Shirley Temple

"They sicken of the calm who know the storm."
- Dorothy Parker

"Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself."
- Doris Lessing

"I am thirty two flavors and then some
and I'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might wanna turn your head
'cause some day you might find you are starving
and eating all of the words that you said."
- Ani DiFranco, "Thirty-Two Flavours"

"There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do."
- Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin

"Women must understand that simply attacking or hating men is just another form of disempowerment. A woman has to realize that when she makes a man crawl it doesn't give her power."
- Tori Amos

------------------

Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... rolling under the table!!
Noticing that the Light has gotten further down a Dark Tunnel than expected... Time to get the Lantern... Knowing sooner or later - I will get to the End of this Tunnel to the Open Air once again...

06-10-2001, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Charean:
Bright Women (and apparently one bright man or a woman named John - ker)

Who are you refering to with this one.

------------------
Do you TIRE of MORTAL LIFE so much that you SEEK to end it at the HANDS of

http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/evermeet

AzureWolf · 06-10-2001, 10:54 PM

I denounce this thread and declare it heretical!!!

So spake the overlord

------------------

"I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..."

"I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go. For all this theres only one thing you should know....."

Charean · 06-10-2001, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BladeMaster:
Who are you refering to with this one.

To be honest, I am not sure - this was forwarded to me and too good not to share. There are times that there are limits to my knowledge, but if you repeat that, I will deny it

------------------

Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... rolling under the table!!
Noticing that the Light has gotten further down a Dark Tunnel than expected... Time to get the Lantern... Knowing sooner or later - I will get to the End of this Tunnel to the Open Air once again...

06-10-2001, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Charean:
To be honest, I am not sure - this was forwarded to me and too good not to share. There are times that there are limits to my knowledge, but if you repeat that, I will deny it

The reason I was asking is because my first names is John and that I had posted an Apology to everyone of this board for the way I was acting.

------------------
Do you TIRE of MORTAL LIFE so much that you SEEK to end it at the HANDS of

http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/evermeet

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06-10-2001, 08:31 PM	#1
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 60 Posts: 2,201	Bright Women (and apparently one bright man or a woman named John - ker) When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. ~Elayne Boosler The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. ~ Helen Hayes (at 73) I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. ~ Janette Barber Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. ~Jan King Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. ~ Lily Tomlin You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears. ~ Geri Jewell A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. ~Carrie Snow Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. ~ Laurie Kuslansky My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. ~ Erma Bombeck Old age ain't no place for sissies. ~ Bette Davis A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. ~ Rhonda Hansome The phrase "working mother" is redundant. ~ Jane Sellman Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. ~ Charlotte Whitton I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. ~ Jennifer Unlimited If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. ~Catherine Aird When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! ~ Kathy Buckley Behind every successful woman . . . is a substantial amount of coffee. ~ Stephanie Piro Behind every successful woman . . . . . . is a basket of dirty laundry. ~ Sally Forth There are some days I practice positive thinking, and other days I'm not positive I am thinking. ~ John M. Eades You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. ~ Erica Jong I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. ~ Rita Rudner I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. ~ Wendy Liebman Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. ~ Erma Bombeck If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. ~ Sue Grafton I think -- therefore I'm single. ~ Lizz Winstead Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. ~ Maryon Pearson I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. ~ Gilda Radner In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man - if you want anything done, ask a woman. ~ Margaret Thatcher I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. ~ Gloria Steinem Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. ~ Gloria Steinem I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night. ~ Marie Crelli Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. ~ Baroness Edith Summerskil I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. ~Eleanor Roosevelt ------------------ Defender for the Light - Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!? Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... rolling under the table!! Noticing that the Light has gotten further down a Dark Tunnel than expected... Time to get the Lantern... Knowing sooner or later - I will get to the End of this Tunnel to the Open Air once again...

06-10-2001, 08:34 PM	#2
RudeDawg 20th Level Warrior Join Date: April 9, 2001 Location: Dallas, Tx, USA Age: 55 Posts: 2,830	ROTFLMAO !!! hey, wait. Am I supposed to be here? Don't hurt me ! ------------------ [This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 06-10-2001).]

06-10-2001, 08:35 PM	#3
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 60 Posts: 2,201	Hee hee... well you should know what is in our heads...after all, forwarned is forarmed!! ------------------ Defender for the Light - Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!? Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... rolling under the table!! Noticing that the Light has gotten further down a Dark Tunnel than expected... Time to get the Lantern... Knowing sooner or later - I will get to the End of this Tunnel to the Open Air once again...

06-10-2001, 08:41 PM	#4
DawnChaser Zhentarim Guard Join Date: June 4, 2001 Location: Los Angeles, CA USA Posts: 340	I like that... "Hey, that's why your smart friends won't go out with me." ------------------ DawnChaser aka Thanatos (Dispositioner of Souls)

06-10-2001, 08:54 PM	#5
Larry_OHF Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Midlands, South Carolina Age: 48 Posts: 14,759	We can always depend on you for a good posting! My wife enjoyed that one! ------------------ Loyal guardian of the OHF Devoted member of the Ironworks Only member of the Elite Bodyguard to Rikard (the fool that takes the bullet) Ertai's back-up Memnoch's chief look-out Member of the Ancients club Witness of the 4,000th post by Cloudposter

06-10-2001, 10:29 PM	#6
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 60 Posts: 2,201	"We haven't come a long way, we've come a short way. If we hadn't come a short way, no one would be calling us 'baby.'" - Elizabeth Janeway "There is no female mind. The brain is not an organ of sex. Might as well speak of a female liver." - Charlotte Perkins Gillman "To be meek, patient, tactful, modest, honorable, brave, is not to be either manly or womanly; it is to be humane." - Jane Harrison "Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way myself." - Rita Mae Brown "Instant gratification takes too long." - Carrie Fisher "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me." - Alice Roosevelt Longworth "When we talk to God we are praying; when God talks to us, we are schizophrenic." - Lily Tomlin "Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies." - Adrienne Gusoff "All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific." - Jane Wagner / Lily Tomlin "Normal is in the eye of the beholder." - Whoopi Goldberg "If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun." - Katharine Hepburn "Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often." - Mae West "My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said 'Just wait.'" - Judy Tenuta "I think, therefore I'm single." - Liz Winstead "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." - August Strindberg "Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels." - Faith Whittlesey "I never know how much of what I say is true." - Bette Midler "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people." - Cheris Kramare and Paula Treichler "I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat." - Rebecca West "Feminism is not a doctrine that seeks to confine us but rather a quest we continually define." - Caroline Soriosis "My idea of feminism is self-determination, and it's very open-ended: every woman has the right to become herself, and do whatever she needs to do." - Ani DiFranco "Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less." - Susan B. Anthony & Elizabeth Cady Stanton (motto of The Revolution newspaper) "Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood." - Marie Curie "I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." - Maya Angelou "I want to walk through life instead of being dragged through it." - Alanis Morissette "Nature provides exceptions to every rule." - Margaret Fuller "Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music." - Angela Monet "Since when do we have to agree with people to defend them from injustice?" - Lillian Hellman "Taken out of context I must seem so strange." - Ani DiFranco, "Fire Door" "As a woman, I have no country. As a woman my country is the world." - Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own "Don't tolerate me as different. Accept me as part of the spectrum of normalcy." - Ann Northrop "There is not one female comedian who was beautiful as a little girl." - Joan Rivers "Woman must not accept; she must challenge. She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression." - Margaret Sanger "Conventionality is not morality." - Charlotte Brontë "Any measurement must take into account the position of the observer. There is no such thing as measurement absolute, there is only measurement relative." - Jeanette Winterson "If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive." - Audre Lorde "Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the president's spouse. I wish him well!" - Barbara Bush "Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from." - Jodie Foster "You know, I think I could have the cure to AIDS or cancer in my head, but that brain cell is filled instead with old dialogue from the Brady Bunch." - Mary Newton "I've never had a humble opinion. If you've got an opinion, why be humble about it?" - Joan Baez "Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes." - Tori Amos "I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph." - Shirley Temple "They sicken of the calm who know the storm." - Dorothy Parker "Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself." - Doris Lessing "I am thirty two flavors and then some and I'm beyond your peripheral vision so you might wanna turn your head 'cause some day you might find you are starving and eating all of the words that you said." - Ani DiFranco, "Thirty-Two Flavours" "There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do." - Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin "Women must understand that simply attacking or hating men is just another form of disempowerment. A woman has to realize that when she makes a man crawl it doesn't give her power." - Tori Amos ------------------ Defender for the Light - Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!? Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... rolling under the table!! Noticing that the Light has gotten further down a Dark Tunnel than expected... Time to get the Lantern... Knowing sooner or later - I will get to the End of this Tunnel to the Open Air once again...

06-10-2001, 10:54 PM	#8
AzureWolf 20th Level Warrior Join Date: May 3, 2001 Location: . Age: 40 Posts: 2,762	I denounce this thread and declare it heretical!!! So spake the overlord ------------------ "I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..." "I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go. For all this theres only one thing you should know....."

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