How would you respond to this?

[Yorick]

What would your reaction be if a good friend of yours commented on the attractiveness of your partner?

Would you feel complimented for having 'good taste'?
Would you feel threatened and presume the friend is after your partner?
Would you think it great, and that your friend and your partner may get along better?
Would you wonder if your partner was better with your friend and so dump your partner?
Would you just not care? Everyone thinks your partner is attractive right? How could they not?

What would your reaction be? Would it be different if it were just once to if it occurred over a long period of time? Would the gender of your friend make a difference?

[johnny]

Having some problems Yorrick ? I'd say, it depends on WHO that friend is. I have a few friends that are trying to screw everything that gets in their way. A comment like that coming from them, would certainly alarm me. But then again, if you can't trust your friends on a matter like this, they're no friends to begin with.

[Paladin2000]

Originally posted by johnny: Having some problems Yorrick ? I'd say, it depends on WHO that friend is. I have a few friends that are trying to screw everything that gets in their way. A comment like that coming from them, would certainly alarm me. But then again, if you can't trust your friends on a matter like this, they're no friends to begin with.

Right on! If I have any *friend* who thinks that getting my partner to bed is some sort of an accomplishment, I will gladly kick his butt and stay away from him forever.

[The Hierophant]

Once would be a compliment. Twice would be a show of interest. Thrice would be a show of poor health, both in body and mind
In the end, a lady of character shall not respond to cheap innuendo and 'hitting on' efforts. If you are both good people and are secure in your mutual affection then no degree of outside distraction shall be able to shake your love-bonds.
As Johnny and Paladin2000 have already made clear, one who tries to distract your love away from you is no friend, merely an opportunistic hedon. The more you mull this over in your mind, the more distressing it shall become. Shrug it off, go catch a movie or get some dinner together.

[ 01-07-2003, 05:39 AM: Message edited by: The Hierophant ]

[Moiraine]

Bah, I suppose if someone was attracted to my partner, she would tell him he is attractive when I am not around !

[Sir Krustin]

It would depend a lot on what stage the relationship is in.

Firstly, if the relationship is still in the "friends" stage, I wouldn't feel threatened at all - she has every to associate with other men, should she choose.

Secondly, even if it was "serious", If I can't trust her I'd rather find out sooner than later.

Mostly, I'd view it as a compliment unless it was on a continuing basis. I have a healthy dose of self-confidence, anyways.

[Donut]

Originally posted by Moiraine: Bah, I suppose if someone was attracted to my partner, she would tell him he is attractive when I am not around !

I think he's very attractive! (for a Frenchman)

[The Hunter of Jahanna]

Once or twice is fine. Most people have similar tastes in parters as their friends.Also it is how its said. A simple "Wow! where did you meet her?" is fine. Going on for 2 hours about the virtues of my wife will get you off of my x-mas card list!! I dont think that it is a trust issue though. To me it is more of a respect issue. My wife would never cheat on me , but if you claim to be a friend , then you shouldnt go after her in the first place.

[Leonis]

I think it depends on who, how, and in what context.

One of those minute but highly complicated judgements we make everyday.

If your good friend happens to be in a solid relationship, and you also trust them, it can be a compliment - ettiquite then demands a similar response from you!

If you good friend happens to be your partner's best friend (apart from you ) There's probably little cause for concern, it's a friend thing.

If your good friend happens to be on top of your partner while saying this...there may a problem...

If it's just a 'mate' who's said this out of the blue...I'd probably be flattered and wary at the same time.

[johnny]

Originally posted by The Hunter of Jahanna: Once or twice is fine. Most people have similar tastes in parters as their friends.Also it is how its said. A simple "Wow! where did you meet her?" is fine. Going on for 2 hours about the virtues of my wife will get you off of my x-mas card list!! I dont think that it is a trust issue though. To me it is more of a respect issue. My wife would never cheat on me , but if you claim to be a friend , then you shouldnt go after her in the first place.

Wise words.