Ass

Yorick · 05-30-2002, 10:14 PM

Charean, so help me, I couldn't resist. I loved your post, but before I read it, before I knew what it was about I saw the correlation between a donkey and an ass and just had to have a thread with that title. Then I read the story a second time and just had to post this spoof. Check it out

[img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img]

-------------------------------------
One day a farmer's ass fell into an abandoned well. The animal cried
piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it just wasn't worth it to him to try to retrieve the ass.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. Realizing what was happening, the ass at first cried and wailed horribly. Then, a few shovelfuls later, he quieted down completely.

The farmer leaned into the hole, peered down into the well and was astounded by what he saw.

With every shovelful of dirt that hit his back, the ass was doing
something amazing. He would shake it off, lay a grogan and take a step up on the new layer of dirt and poo. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off, do a toby, and take a step up. Pretty soon, the ass stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off, to the shock, astonishment and horror of all the nasally assaulted neighbors!

Now they had a well full of dirt and poo.

You may have the oportunity to shovel dirt on an ass-hole, all kinds of dirt. But remember, they will leave you with muddy poo water.

Remember the four simple rules to be unstinky:

Avoid assholes.
Don't be an asshole.
Don't be an ass.
Learn to recycle.

johnny · 05-30-2002, 10:18 PM

ROFL what a smelly post.

Evil Al · 05-30-2002, 10:21 PM

Well done Yorick. You win the award for making me laugh at three o'clock in th morning! Once more i'm sober and i really need a smoke. You should be proud.

Cloudbringer · 05-30-2002, 11:05 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHA! OH that was a good one, Yorick! LOL 'smell poo water' [img]graemlins/reallyroll.gif[/img] blech!

Charean · 05-31-2002, 12:48 AM

I am impressed, Yorick! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

It has so many different connotations now that were never there before! The depths that are apparent now that are uncovered in your version... sheer masterpiece...

Good one. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Yorick · 05-31-2002, 10:30 AM

Well I'm glad you guys enjoyed. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Sazerac · 05-31-2002, 10:58 AM

Very impressive philosophy, Sir Yorick!

However, I'm most impressed with the colorful metaphors "lay a grogan" and "do a toby". [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] That's the first time I've ever heard of those! I'll have to work those into my repertoire somehow.

Thanks,
-Sazerac

05-31-2002, 11:08 AM

ROTFL too too funny dude, gotta love those colourful metaphors [img]smile.gif[/img] lay a grogan and do a toby!!! hehehehe

EDIT: PS guess who learned how to do colors [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 05-31-2002, 11:09 AM: Message edited by: MagiK ]

caleb · 05-31-2002, 11:48 AM

On a farm, one time, a horse and a goat were friends and although the goat never said anything he always felt upset he wasn't as well endowed as the Horse. one day the horse went walking on the farm and saw some just hatched chickens that had fallen in a ditch. The horse decided he could use his tail for them to jump on to and get them out, but horses can't bend down so it didn't work. Just when all hope was lost the goat came around. Goats can sit down and so he did and the chicks were saved!

The moral of the story: You don't have to be hung like a horse to pick up chicks.

Moiraine · 05-31-2002, 05:34 PM

Great one, Yozza. [img]smile.gif[/img] I'm learning new English every day !

05-30-2002, 10:14 PM	#1
Yorick Very Mad Bird Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam) Age: 52 Posts: 9,246	Charean, so help me, I couldn't resist. I loved your post, but before I read it, before I knew what it was about I saw the correlation between a donkey and an ass and just had to have a thread with that title. Then I read the story a second time and just had to post this spoof. Check it out [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] ------------------------------------- One day a farmer's ass fell into an abandoned well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it just wasn't worth it to him to try to retrieve the ass. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. Realizing what was happening, the ass at first cried and wailed horribly. Then, a few shovelfuls later, he quieted down completely. The farmer leaned into the hole, peered down into the well and was astounded by what he saw. With every shovelful of dirt that hit his back, the ass was doing something amazing. He would shake it off, lay a grogan and take a step up on the new layer of dirt and poo. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off, do a toby, and take a step up. Pretty soon, the ass stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off, to the shock, astonishment and horror of all the nasally assaulted neighbors! Now they had a well full of dirt and poo. You may have the oportunity to shovel dirt on an ass-hole, all kinds of dirt. But remember, they will leave you with muddy poo water. Remember the four simple rules to be unstinky: Avoid assholes. Don't be an asshole. Don't be an ass. Learn to recycle. __________________ http://www.hughwilson.com

05-30-2002, 10:18 PM	#2
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	ROFL what a smelly post. __________________

05-30-2002, 10:21 PM	#3
Evil Al Drow Warrior Join Date: October 5, 2001 Location: Aberdeen, United Kingdom Age: 38 Posts: 292	Well done Yorick. You win the award for making me laugh at three o'clock in th morning! Once more i'm sober and i really need a smoke. You should be proud. __________________ I\'m not bigheaded but go here and tell me just how sexy i am [url]\"http://www.faceparty.com/al_the_drunkard\" target=\"_blank\">www.faceparty.com/al_the_drunkard</a><br /><br />War in iraq? Not in my name!<br /><br />Disarm America.

05-30-2002, 11:05 PM	#4
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	HAHAHAHAHAHA! OH that was a good one, Yorick! LOL 'smell poo water' [img]graemlins/reallyroll.gif[/img] blech! __________________ "Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace)

05-31-2002, 12:48 AM	#5
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 60 Posts: 2,201	I am impressed, Yorick! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] It has so many different connotations now that were never there before! The depths that are apparent now that are uncovered in your version... sheer masterpiece... Good one. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] __________________ And then there were 6.

05-31-2002, 10:30 AM	#6
Yorick Very Mad Bird Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam) Age: 52 Posts: 9,246	Well I'm glad you guys enjoyed. [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ http://www.hughwilson.com

05-31-2002, 10:58 AM	#7
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 60 Posts: 7,387	Very impressive philosophy, Sir Yorick! However, I'm most impressed with the colorful metaphors "lay a grogan" and "do a toby". [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] That's the first time I've ever heard of those! I'll have to work those into my repertoire somehow. Thanks, -Sazerac __________________ "And all my days are trances, and all my nightly dreams, Are where thy grey eye glances, and where thy footstep gleams, In what ethereal dances, by what eternal streams..."

05-31-2002, 11:08 AM	#8
MagiK Guest Posts: n/a	ROTFL too too funny dude, gotta love those colourful metaphors [img]smile.gif[/img] lay a grogan and do a toby!!! hehehehe EDIT: PS guess who learned how to do colors [img]smile.gif[/img] [ 05-31-2002, 11:09 AM: Message edited by: MagiK ]

05-31-2002, 11:48 AM	#9
caleb Horus - Egyptian Sky God Join Date: April 10, 2001 Location: Tacoma, WA, U.S.A. Age: 39 Posts: 2,615	On a farm, one time, a horse and a goat were friends and although the goat never said anything he always felt upset he wasn't as well endowed as the Horse. one day the horse went walking on the farm and saw some just hatched chickens that had fallen in a ditch. The horse decided he could use his tail for them to jump on to and get them out, but horses can't bend down so it didn't work. Just when all hope was lost the goat came around. Goats can sit down and so he did and the chicks were saved! The moral of the story: You don't have to be hung like a horse to pick up chicks.

05-31-2002, 05:34 PM	#10
Moiraine Anubis Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Up in the Freedomland Alps Age: 59 Posts: 2,474	Great one, Yozza. [img]smile.gif[/img] I'm learning new English every day ! __________________ [img]\"http://grumble.free.fr/img/romuald.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br /><br />The missing link between ape and man is us.

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