Poll: Giggling so hard, your missing the keys?

[Nanobyte]

That has a sickening sense of humor to it,

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[Dr.Orangutan]

the party is emerging from the town of Ishad N'ha when suddenly they are waylayed by a band of highland rogues "hand over your gold or you'll pay dearly"
barbarian "Did he just call me Deary?"
wizard "Fezzik , jug his memory!"
highland rogue " shut up,shut up!"
WHACK WHACK !
barbarian " I think i jug him to hard Inigo."

[slug]

"how dare you breathe fire at me? i am the chosen one. i am ukabu. i am...ok fine if that's how you want to be about it; i know somebody who's looking for you. follow me with with that pansy stove lighter you call a breath weapon. let's go. c'mon c'mon follow follow. hey, where you going you coward, oh, back so soon. hey torin look what i brought you."

"herro my friend"

"shoot!"

"have you learned anything new..."

"shoot, dum***s! i didn't trek that arrow all the way out here so you could scratch your **s with it. shooooooot!"

[adam warlock]

Adam "aw come on!"
TAOQ "no"
Adam "please?"
TAOQ "no, we are NOT going to kill the king!"
AZE "but we don't like him!"
TAOQ "I said NO!"
AZE "Look I know we got killed before but we can travel back in time before we decided to kill the king"
TAOQ "and what? Lose again?"

[Balgin]

"Elseravmavin!" Shouted Lisa, the Dragon slowly turned it's head toward her genaral direction."Alright,"Durin muttered," we've said the special word now give 'im the cloth.""There appears to be a slight problem with that," Shevine opined,"he's only eighteen foot up in the air." A hideous sucking noise began to swell in volume above them. Boldy Lisa shoved the Mavin Shroud as high as her arms would let her.The dragon began to assume an almost cross eyed look."Here, you dragon,"bellowed Carenis,"listen what she sayin', it's good."Lisa held the cloth aloft, both hands supporting it's meagre weight."It can't hold that breath forever." said Durin.Strange tendrils of smoky grey mist where wafting from the sides of the creatures jaw in an unencouraging way."Break!" Yelled Telar and the party scattered as a burst of flame destroyed the plant life where they had recently been standing.The great dragon turned it's head and began to fly away from them."Don't let him get away," screached Gertha,"you know how hard it was to find him the last three times!" And so the horse was grabbed and they set off in hot pursuit."Maybe Dwarfs have louder voices," suggested Shevine, teeth rattling from the impact of beating hoofs below,"I mean those battle cries are pretty impressive.""What and get that things attention all on me, no thanks"."Oh, come on,"grunted Telar as the horse skipped a low lying tree root," he's already ignored me and Lisa and Gertha,it's either you or carenis."He did not voice a common suposition that if the beast ignored the bearer of the shroud then it would ignore the rest of them too.The horse was pulled to a halt, almost unsettling Gertha's lightweight frame.Durinstood up doing his best to plant his feet well and truly on the saddle horn.Gripping the mane and head harness with both hands to steady himself he opened his throat and let loose the power of a heavy drinker and his voice."Khazad,Khazad ai menu! Turn vile beast of darkness and face thy doom oh great flaming belcher for I shall destroy thee!Prepare thyself for the end of thy days has cometh and thine children mourne thy loss.Here shalt I spill thy soul!For the glory of clan Stondraeg of Gondemar Hold I issue this challenge!"After a few seconds, punctuated only by the sound of a stunned squirrel dropping from it's perch in the nearby forest, Carenis spoke, "It's breathing in again.""Now what do we do?"asked Gertha."Don't panic!"screamed Shevine Callishan."Whose pannicing?"Inquired Telar."Think of S bends." Growled Durin."What?" Asked Telar and Shevine together."Look, give me the reins".The horse took off in a zig zag of curving lines, a path of searing flame licking at it's heels.****Later they tried shouting in unison,showing it the shroud and then shouting,shouting and then showing, dismounting and going through all of the above. Eventually I decided that he just wanted to ingore me (after all he's meant to be short sighted) and left him, disgruntled and singed but slightly wiser.



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Balgin, the Dwarf

[Traute]

Great thread! How about this one:

Just after finishing Boogre Prison everyone in my group took the Barbarian quest, which they wanted to complete before starting the Stout Mines. But though the spawn was at 'often', no monsters were showing up. So they went to Shurugeon castle sleeping quarters, everyone fired up Burning Haze, and started targeting rats and roaches. Twenty minutes later, six 9 lvl Ninjas entered the Weapons' Shop at Ishad N'Ha, and were recognized as Barbarians, fierce and proud ......

Or that I opened the chests in the room with the Mavin only in my third game, because I thought they were Erathsmedor's hoard.

Or the time Kreug's familiar and two serpent priests were crushed by the lift simultaneously.

Traute

[Elcid]

Just a little thing: While experimenting with the "summon undead" spell my party was fighting some mountain spiders. The message window read like this (I didn't write it down so I missed the spell):
Burgh swings katana
Burgh hits for 8 damage
Mountain Spider dies
Burgh gets xxx Exp
...
Spectre casts ??? at dead mountain spider
dead Mountain Spider gets deader

I had to laugh out loud. Now what happens if an undead monster is killed and hit again? Does it get "even more deader"? Or maybe "deadly dead"?

[This message has been edited by Elcid (edited 03-21-2001).]

[Mr-Eiz]

In Boogre Prison

party of Boogre's walk Barkeeper
he ask 'who am you'
Reply 'Boogres'
you want Boogre Beer 5 sinner thingess
pay 4005 for 1
Duuuuuh
hay dud how much was thaT?????????

then head thru the gauntlet no problem
walk thru door 'wham'
who hit um??
where um me??

cool got thru

then we all died when walk into a room
with those Mantrap thinges

ug run ug died you thinges
hay monk use Dragon Spell not fist!!!

to late we De...

[Knarfling]

I have always thought it funny that you had to study artifacts to be able to identify simple items. It seems that it is easier to tell what weapon is being used on you. Here is an example:

Graveyard Skeleton swings Rusted Long Sword.
Graveyard Skeleteon misses.
Dezmund swings Long Sword.
Graveyard Skeleton hit for 8 point.
Lauren casts Shock.
Graveyard Skeleton hit for 18 points.
Graveyard Skeleton dies.

Lauren picks up ?Sword?
(Tries to identify it and fails)

Dezmund: So is it worth anything?
Lauren: I can't tell. I am not sure what kind of sword it is.
Dezmund: What??!! You can't tell what kind of sword it is?
Lauren: No.
Dezmund: It was pretty easy to tell that it was a Rusted Long Sword while that think was swinging it at me! But now that it is dead you can't tell what kind of weapon it was using??
Lauren: Sorry. I have tried to get the guild to teach me how to identify items, but they won't teach me yet.
Dezmund: How about I start swinging it at you? Would that make it easier to identify??!!


Another time, after Lauren has the identify spell and is trying to identify something very obvious.

Dezmund: Ok, that was rough! Finally, Elyssia is dead! First that Naga and now Elyssia. I hope there is not some Giant Scoripion or Three-headed Hydra hiding around the next corner. Brumburg! We have some people that are poisoned, can you cast a couple of cures on us? Lauren, grab that Masque of Evil while Knarfling checks out these chests.
Brumburg: Sure Dezi.
Dezmund: Stop calling me that!
Lauren: Evil mask.
Dezmund: What?
Lauren: It is an evil mask.
Dezmund: That is what I said. Grab the Masque of Evil.
Lauren: You don't understand. I know that this is an evil mask, but I am not sure if this is the Masque of Evil.
Dezmund: What??!! You are not SURE???!!! How many evil masks could there possibly be??? Do you mean we are going to have to keep searching this light-forsaken temple looking for another Masque of Evil??
Aragwar ~stage whisper~: Better get your healing spells ready too, Brumburg. I think Dezi is going to blow a vein.
Dezmund: Stop it!! Lauren, are sure that this is NOT the masque we are looking for?
Lauren: No, I am almost sure that it IS, but I can't be positive. If only I could study at the guild a little more, I am sure that I could tell.
Dezmund: okay. We will go back to town and see if we can rest up and sell some of this junk. And Brumburg? Can you watch those big feet of yours next time? You almost trampled all over the stuff these priests dropped and I would like to sell some of it.
Brumburg: Hey, it is not my fault. There was a roach there almost as big as a mouse. And you know how I feel about mice.
Dezmund: Let me get this straight. We just got finished fighting giant spiders, large snakes, a huge Naga, and several priests with powerful spells and you are afraid of MICE??!!
Brumburg: I can't help it! All omphaz are afraid of mice. It is a racial thing? And you didn't help matters making me go through that crypt with all those rats running around.
Dezmund: Never mind. Just watch what you are trampling next time. Let's get back to town.

~hours later, back in town~

Lauren: Great news! I have finished the class at the temple and I can tell you that it this is definately the Masque of Evil!
Dezmund: And?
Lauren: And what?
Dezmund: Can you tell us any more about it? Those Oracles were not very clear about what this Masque of Evil is used for.
Lauren: umm.... well, it has an AC of 2.
Dezmund: That is it???!! Are you telling me that we just spent 10,000 gp so that you could tell me that this was the Masque of Evil?
Lauren: And that it has an AC of 2.
Dezmund: I don't CARE what AC it has. I am not going to be wearing it! And I knew it was the mask we were looking for back at the temple!!!
Knarfling: ~Stage whisper~ Dezi is not wearing it? I thought for sure he was already wearing it.
Aragwar: ~Stage whisper~ Nah, I can tell when he is not wearing it. He would look much better if he put it on.
Dezmund: Why me? I think I could do better if I had picked Boogres for this party.
Knarfling: Look, Dezi. Why don't we get a drink at the tavern. You will feel better.
Aragwar: Umm... I am a bit broke. Dezi, can I borrow a couple of gold? I will buy you a drink with it.
Knarfling: Don't worry Aragwar. I already borrowed some gold from him without him knowing about it. I will loan you some of Dezi's gold.
Dezmund: Why me? Why me?


Knarfling

[Davros]

Great tales Knarfling, now I got a couple of lengthy iron thingys that have some ornagey red flakes coming off them - can I get Lauren to take a look at them for me?

Regards
Davros