on the lighter side, chamber of laughter is back.....

[250]

George W. Bush ran into Colin Powell`s office exclaiming, "Dick Cheney hanged himself in his bathroom!"
Colin Powell says "Oh, No! Did you cut him down?"

"Cut him down?" asks George W. "How could I cut him down? He wasn`t dead yet!"

[250]

Clinton's sons

Chelsea had the most exciting news. She burst into the room shouting, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news! Nick asked me to marry him. He is like the biggest hunk in Washington. We are supposed to get married next month.
Bill took Chelsea in the back and said, "Chelsea, you're mother, although an ideal administrator and public speaker, has never had much to offer in the sack, so, as you might have heard, I have been known to fool around with other ladies on occassion. Your boyfriend Nick happens to be the product of one of my love making sessions. He is my son and thusly, he is your half-brother."

Chelsea ran out of the office screaming, "Not another brother!"

She rushed to her mother's side, telling her about her all about dad's shameful behavior and how every man she dated turns out to be one of her father's illegitimate sons.

Hillary began to laugh and said, "Don't pay any attention to him. He isn't really your father anyway."

[250]

Gary Condit looks up from his desk to see one of his aides nervously approach him. "What is it?" yells the Congressman.
"It's this abortion bill, Mr. Condit. What do you want to do about it?" the aide asks.

"Just go ahead and pay it," responds the Congressman.

[250]

Things Found Only In America

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

[250]

White House Synonyms

George W. Bush is the President
Dick Cheney is Vice President

Colin Powell is the Secretary of Defense

We have a bush, dick and a colon in office so we're bound to get screwed somewhere along the line.

[250]

http://www.thecomedylab.com/crapola/...s/fullmilk.jpg

http://www.thecomedylab.com/crapola/...ctric_full.jpg

[250]

bump for everyone

[J.J.]

Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality,
goes to
consult a psychic about the date of his death.

Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future, she
finds the answer. "You will die on an American holiday."

"Which one?" Osama bin Laden asks nervously.

"It doesn't matter," replies the psychic. "Whenever you die, it will be
an
American holiday!"



------------------
Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To

Official Pin-Up Girl Evaluator/Massager of the O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. Clan
To Err is Human To Forgive Divine, However Neither is U.S. Marine Corps Policy.

[Ace Flashheart]

*Cracks knuckles*

I have finally found a home.

************************************************** ******************************


A ventriloquist and his dummy are performing on stage in a club in front of a large audience; the ventriloquist is running through his repertoire of jokes ending the evening with a few light-hearted blonde jokes.

Halfway through this a blond woman in a very sharp suit wearing glasses stands up in the third row and calls for him to stop. Looking extremely annoyed she takes off her glasses and proceeds to silence the whole room by tapping her glass.

"This must stop now. Your jokes are extremely offensive and very insensitive, the comments you have made about blondes are not only derogatory to me but all women, I am an educated, intelligent women who constantly suffers persecution because of something as superficial as the colour of my hair.

I think it's disgraceful that in the twentieth century we can still be falling back on these crass stereotypes, and it's just as bad that any audience could be encouraging this by humouring this man.

You have spit in the eye of all the sacrifices and hardships endured by women over the many hundreds of years that we have fought to gain equality and I think you owe me an apology."

Looking very agitated and nervous the ventriloquist replied to the blond women.

"I'm very sorry I have offended you I didn't mean to cause such offence, my jokes were made with the intention...."

Before he could finish the blond women interrupted the ventriloquist.

"Not you, the small jerk sitting on your knee."

[Ace Flashheart]

Due to my blatant display of chauvinism in my last joke here's a small one for the ladies...

Q: 'Why are women so bad at parking?'

A: 'Because men keep on telling them this

I------------------------------------------------I

is six inches