It's Not Fair!!!!!!!!

[Nanaki3]

OK,

Yesterday at the end of school I was going to go to the NEX (Navy Exchange). I called my parents about 15 times and the phone was always busy. So I went to the NEX and called again another 5 times. The phone rang but it kept ringing and the answering machine never picked up. So I went over to /)deathkillers house. I called again and my mother picks up the phone. I tell her where I am and she says that I wasn't supposed to ever do that and told me to get home. She had to go somewhere so I got /)eathkillers mother to drive me and DeathSythe home. I got home and all the doors were locked. I then went back to school and waited till 6:00 when the meeting my mom went to was over and then I went home. My parents were back home and they got so mad at me.

I am now grounded for two months. The rest of the time i'm in Gitmo. So I can't go see my friends or play anymore. Is that fair? To me it is definitly unfair.

[Evil Al]

Damn that is unfair. At least your still allowed to use the internet (or are you? )
When my folks used to ground me i wasn't allowed any contact with the outside world... and the box they locked me in wasn't exactly roomie. Ah them are the days... now it my parents that are in the boxes in... under the back garden. MUHAHAHAHA!

[Nanaki3]

I am alowed but i'm at school

[Black Knight]

That sucks...did you tell your parents that you tried to call?

BK

[Nanaki3]

Yes

[Redblueflare]

*Points and laughs* That sucks! I'm J/K Jeff. Don't worry about it. When parents say you're grounded until we leave that means, you're grounded until we get tired of having you around. You're parents seem nice, they wouldn't do that to you. Right?

[Nanaki3]

My parents have been getting a lot stricter since i've got into high school but I guess thats to be expected.

[Bruce The Aussie]

Why is that to be expected? my parents say go where you want as long as you call first. and if i couldn't get though and i explaned i tried to call first they'ed be fine. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Redblueflare]

Originally posted by Nanaki3: My parents have been getting a lot stricter since i've got into high school but I guess thats to be expected.

No it isn't. Usually parents get less strict and allow you to do more as you get older. Not the other way around. Your parents have a strange habit of blaming you for stuff that really isn't your fault. Remember what happened with your brother?

[Ryanamur]

You're right, this is unfair... and I can tell you this as a parent. [img]smile.gif[/img] Now, since you are in Cuba, my guess is that one of your parent is in the Military. So, here's what you want to emphasize:
Responsibility, Discipline, Autonomy, Accountability, Innitiative.

Do you have any witnesses who can attest that you've phoned home so many times? If you do. Sit your parents down and tell them your story (which can be verified). Tell it calmly and just point out your position. Emphasize the fact that you where trying to be a responsible teen. When you didn't get a hold of them, you took a decision (you show innitiative and autonomy) but that you now recognize that it was the wrong one (accountable and responsible). As such, you accept and will abide by their decision to punish you (Responsible).

Now, bring to their attention that since you tried to get a hold of them and that they weren't available that they let you down (don't be agressive, just point out that they weren't there for you when you needed them) and that you don't want it to present itself in the future (you see a problem). Bring to their attention that if you are to let them know ahead of time where you're supposed to be, that you request that the phone lines be kept opened from now on when you are done school (this is constructive criticism - problem solving). Not only that, but also that if you are required to be somewhere at a specific time, that they tell you instead of keeping it to themselves.

For the conclusion, you want to close with something like this:

"Mom, Dad, I know that you are trying to make of me a responsible young man and I really appreciate it. However, I cannot achieve this if you do not allow me to live and take some decision by myself. Now, I did try to contact you and tell you where I was going but you weren't available. As you didn't tell me that I was required to be back at a specific time, I took it upon myself to go and visit my friends (from where I repeatedly tried to call you again but to no avail). I made a mistake and accept it. However, do you really think that being grounded for 2 months will solve or prove anything except preventing me from proving to you that I'm responsible, disciplined, accountable and that I can take innitiative while still respecting your rules?."

Good luck

Phil,
Dad and Military Officer [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 04-26-2002, 07:03 PM: Message edited by: Ryanamur ]