Why Santa shouldn't give coal and rocks to naughty kids!

Sir Kenyth · 12-11-2001, 02:39 PM

Why shouldn't Santa give coal and rocks to naughty kids? Traditonally, naughty kids stay up late, AND have slingshots!

Here's what could happen!

BLACK BOX RECORD
---------------------------------
12/25/01 00:13:00

PILOT: K. Kringle
CO-PILOT: Bernie Elf

On Dancer, on Prancer, on *WHACK!*

What the? Oh, god! Prancer's down! Prancer's down!
Bernie! Get out on the deer and see what you can do!
Bernie! Put down that paratrooper GI JOE! Bernie don't bail!
Come back!

*WHACK!*

COMET!!! Oh s#!t, we're losing altitude! Mayday! Mayday!

*WHACK!*

Holy f$%k! RUDOLPH! Not on the nose! I'm flying blind!

I've lost the main reins! Damn jingle bells are flying everywhere!
The sleigh runners won't deploy!

God help us! We're going down!

We're breaking up!
We're breaking up!

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*SPLAT*

END RECORD

Sir ReGiN · 12-11-2001, 03:05 PM

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Ronn_Bman · 12-11-2001, 03:06 PM

Too Funny!

Harkoliar · 12-12-2001, 11:15 AM

nice one [img]smile.gif[/img] !!

Grojlach · 12-12-2001, 01:36 PM

If Santa answered his mail honestly...

Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer
Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

Yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.
How about I send you a f....... book so you can learn
to read and write?
I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At
least HE can spell!

Santa
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the
only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd
like for my mommy and daddy to get
back together. Please see what you can do.

Love,Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen
door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up
to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass
constantly? It's time to give up that dream.
Let me get you some nice Legos instead.

Santa
----------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train,
some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays?
I bet you're retarded .

Santa
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the
tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside
the back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make
the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh.
You want to do me a favour? Leave me a
bottle of scotch.

Santa
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the
year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas,
where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno
films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the
asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps
table. Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you
really know when we're awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck
in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.

Santa
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please
please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy

Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your
folks, but that crap doesn't work with me.
You're getting a sweater again.

Santa
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house,
how do you get into our home?

Love, Marky

Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why
you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second,
you don't live ina house, you live in a low-rent apartment
complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like
all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams, Santa

12-11-2001, 02:39 PM	#1
Sir Kenyth Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: August 30, 2001 Location: somewhere Age: 54 Posts: 1,785	Why shouldn't Santa give coal and rocks to naughty kids? Traditonally, naughty kids stay up late, AND have slingshots! Here's what could happen! BLACK BOX RECORD --------------------------------- 12/25/01 00:13:00 PILOT: K. Kringle CO-PILOT: Bernie Elf On Dancer, on Prancer, on WHACK! What the? Oh, god! Prancer's down! Prancer's down! Bernie! Get out on the deer and see what you can do! Bernie! Put down that paratrooper GI JOE! Bernie don't bail! Come back! WHACK! COMET!!! Oh s#!t, we're losing altitude! Mayday! Mayday! WHACK! Holy f$%k! RUDOLPH! Not on the nose! I'm flying blind! I've lost the main reins! Damn jingle bells are flying everywhere! The sleigh runners won't deploy! God help us! We're going down! We're breaking up! We're breaking up! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPLAT END RECORD __________________ Master Barbsman and wielder of the razor wit!<br /><br />There are dark angels among us. They present themselves in shining raiment but there is, in their hearts, the blackness of the abyss.

12-11-2001, 03:06 PM	#3
Ronn_Bman Zartan Join Date: March 11, 2001 Location: North Carolina USA Age: 57 Posts: 5,177	Too Funny! __________________ [img]\"http://home.carolina.rr.com/orthanc/pics/Spinning%20Hammer%20Sig%20Pic.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

12-12-2001, 11:15 AM	#4
Harkoliar Jack Burton Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney Age: 41 Posts: 5,556	nice one [img]smile.gif[/img] !! __________________ Catch me if you can..

12-12-2001, 01:36 PM	#5
Grojlach Zartan Join Date: May 2, 2001 Location: Ulpia Noviomagus Batavorum Age: 43 Posts: 5,281	If Santa answered his mail honestly... Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a f....... book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love,Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa ---------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're retarded . Santa ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favour? Leave me a bottle of scotch. Santa ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live ina house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa __________________ [url]\"http://www.audioscrobbler.com/user/Grobbel/\" target=\"_blank\"> [img]\"http://www.denness.net/rpi/username/Grobbel\" alt=\" - \" /></a>

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12-11-2001, 03:05 PM	#2
Sir ReGiN Gold Dragon Join Date: August 11, 2001 Location: The land of blonde virgins Age: 42 Posts: 2,563	[img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh3.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

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