Children......"I hope you have 2 kids just like you"...mom's threat growing up..

[J.J.]

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our
own,
grandchildren, nieces and nephews, here is something to make you
chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control or they are driving your nuts,
you
can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not
extend
to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was, "Don't."

"Don't what ?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the apples, it is the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve, we have forbidden
fruit
here !"

"No way !"

"Yes, way !"

"Do NOT eat the apples, it is forbidden fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so !" God replied, (wondering why
he
hadn't stopped Creation after making the elephants after hearing his
children's bickering).

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and was
He
was really ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the apples, the forbidden fruit?" God, as
our
first parent, asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then, why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it !" Adam said,

"Did not !"

"Did too !"

"DID NOT !"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and
Eve
should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has
never changed! But there is reassurance in this story.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
they
haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble
raising
children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?


Advice for the day:

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
"Take two Aspirin" and "Keep away from children."

A FEW ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ! ...

CHILDREN: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to
walk
and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and
shut-up.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that
there are children more awful than your own.

We child-proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

[J.J.]

Thanks to my Uncle Danny for this one, and alot of the goodies in the chamber of laughter, as well
Father Bronze, are you neck-deep in all the alternate story lines in ToB, have not seen you in a while, must be spending too much time on that computer in the classroom you installed the game on...