The Lady Exec.

Arvon · 07-02-2002, 10:44 AM

Executive Decision

A hardworking female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, "You've shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell."

"I don't know!" she flounders.

"Tell you what," St. Peter says, "You can have 24 hours in heaven and 24 hours in hell. Then you have to decide where to spend eternity."

"Okay then," she says. "I'll start with heaven since I'm here already."

She goes in the pearly gates and makes some acquaintances. They have a nice walk among beautiful gardens. They have a nice quiet lunch. They have a nice stroll along a pristine, white, sandy beach looking out on brilliant blue ocean. At the end of the day she is shown to a nice room, and has a quiet meal on the balcony, looking out over the setting sun and the ocean. She marvels at the scenic beauty of heaven.

The next morning, St. Peter takes her to the fiery gates of hell and hands her off to Satan.

Satan takes her to a power breakfast given in her honor. Then she is escorted to a tennis club where she is greeted by her old boss, some co-workers, and previous business acquaintances. She plays a few sets of tennis and catches up on the gossip. At lunchtime her old boss takes her to a gourmet restaurant and she has an excellent meal with vintage wine.

After lunch he takes her to an exclusive golf course and they play 18 holes of golf. She runs into other business acquaintances and catches up on news and gossip.

After golf, he drops her at a spa where she is pampered and spoiled by beauty and body treatments. When she is finished at the spa, an acquaintance takes her shopping at designer stores. She picks out a fabulous evening gown, and Satan himself takes her to a huge party with drinking, dancing, gourmet food, and famous people.

At the end of the evening, a stretch limo drops her off at a five-star hotel. As she soaks in the Jacuzzi tub, and sips the complimentary champagne, she ponders eternity.

The next morning, she meets St. Peter at the pearly gates.

"Well, have you made your decision?" He asks.

"I've decided on hell," she announces.

"So be it." St Peter waves goodbye and she reappears before the fiery gates of hell.

Once inside she is teamed up with her old boss again, only this time everyone is wearing rags. They are filthy, diseased, malnourished, and living in a barren desert. They have to scrounge for food, water, clothing, even shade.

"What happened!?!" She exclaimed.

"Well," said her boss, "Yesterday you were a recruit. Today you are staff."

Sir Goulum · 07-02-2002, 01:57 PM

I don't get it. Can you explain?

WillowIX · 07-02-2002, 02:01 PM

LOL! Is that how you were recruited? lol

Dundee Slaytern · 07-02-2002, 02:02 PM

New employees usually have easy first days, until they learn the ropes so to speak.

Thus, easy-going on the first day, hell for the rest of your occupation life.

You got to have work experience to appreciate it. Heh... ...

[ 07-02-2002, 02:03 PM: Message edited by: Dundee Slaytern ]

Sir Goulum · 07-02-2002, 02:05 PM

Ah well, whatever. I'm still only 13 years old so I got a ways to go before I experiance the hell!

SomeGuy · 07-02-2002, 02:08 PM

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well atleast when you are in Hell you choose your torture right?

/)eathKiller · 07-02-2002, 02:47 PM

I've heard this same joke retold in many differint ways, the best one was with BIll Gates being told by St Peter: "oh, well that was just the Demo" and then being sent on an elevator to hell [img]tongue.gif[/img]

07-02-2002, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SomeGuy:
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well atleast when you are in Hell you choose your torture right?

If you did, it wouldn't be hell now would it? [img]smile.gif[/img]

07-02-2002, 10:44 AM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Executive Decision A hardworking female executive dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, "You've shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell." "I don't know!" she flounders. "Tell you what," St. Peter says, "You can have 24 hours in heaven and 24 hours in hell. Then you have to decide where to spend eternity." "Okay then," she says. "I'll start with heaven since I'm here already." She goes in the pearly gates and makes some acquaintances. They have a nice walk among beautiful gardens. They have a nice quiet lunch. They have a nice stroll along a pristine, white, sandy beach looking out on brilliant blue ocean. At the end of the day she is shown to a nice room, and has a quiet meal on the balcony, looking out over the setting sun and the ocean. She marvels at the scenic beauty of heaven. The next morning, St. Peter takes her to the fiery gates of hell and hands her off to Satan. Satan takes her to a power breakfast given in her honor. Then she is escorted to a tennis club where she is greeted by her old boss, some co-workers, and previous business acquaintances. She plays a few sets of tennis and catches up on the gossip. At lunchtime her old boss takes her to a gourmet restaurant and she has an excellent meal with vintage wine. After lunch he takes her to an exclusive golf course and they play 18 holes of golf. She runs into other business acquaintances and catches up on news and gossip. After golf, he drops her at a spa where she is pampered and spoiled by beauty and body treatments. When she is finished at the spa, an acquaintance takes her shopping at designer stores. She picks out a fabulous evening gown, and Satan himself takes her to a huge party with drinking, dancing, gourmet food, and famous people. At the end of the evening, a stretch limo drops her off at a five-star hotel. As she soaks in the Jacuzzi tub, and sips the complimentary champagne, she ponders eternity. The next morning, she meets St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Well, have you made your decision?" He asks. "I've decided on hell," she announces. "So be it." St Peter waves goodbye and she reappears before the fiery gates of hell. Once inside she is teamed up with her old boss again, only this time everyone is wearing rags. They are filthy, diseased, malnourished, and living in a barren desert. They have to scrounge for food, water, clothing, even shade. "What happened!?!" She exclaimed. "Well," said her boss, "Yesterday you were a recruit. Today you are staff." __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

07-02-2002, 02:01 PM	#3
WillowIX Apophis Join Date: July 10, 2001 Location: By a big blue lake, Canada Age: 50 Posts: 4,628	LOL! Is that how you were recruited? lol __________________ Confuzzled by nature.

07-02-2002, 02:08 PM	#6
SomeGuy Unicorn Join Date: May 14, 2002 Location: Oklahoma, USA Age: 33 Posts: 4,238	Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well atleast when you are in Hell you choose your torture right? __________________ \"I firmly believe that any man\'s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.\"<br />-Vince Lombardi

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07-02-2002, 01:57 PM	#2
Sir Goulum John Locke Join Date: February 7, 2002 Location: Edmonton, Canada Age: 35 Posts: 8,985	I don't get it. Can you explain?

07-02-2002, 02:02 PM	#4
Dundee Slaytern Ironworks Moderator Join Date: June 10, 2001 Location: Pasir Ris, Singapore Age: 41 Posts: 11,063	New employees usually have easy first days, until they learn the ropes so to speak. Thus, easy-going on the first day, hell for the rest of your occupation life. You got to have work experience to appreciate it. Heh... ... [ 07-02-2002, 02:03 PM: Message edited by: Dundee Slaytern ]

07-02-2002, 02:05 PM	#5
Sir Goulum John Locke Join Date: February 7, 2002 Location: Edmonton, Canada Age: 35 Posts: 8,985	Ah well, whatever. I'm still only 13 years old so I got a ways to go before I experiance the hell!

07-02-2002, 02:47 PM	#7
/)eathKiller Dracolisk Join Date: January 5, 2002 Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Age: 38 Posts: 6,043	I've heard this same joke retold in many differint ways, the best one was with BIll Gates being told by St Peter: "oh, well that was just the Demo" and then being sent on an elevator to hell [img]tongue.gif[/img]

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