Funniest Gaming Events (feel free to add to it)

[Sazerac]

Man, those stories are HILARIOUS! [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] I agree, Cerek, this is the kind of thread that is a delight to read.

My own personal contribution to the hotch-pot is this:

I was running an AD&D (1st edition, YEARS ago) campaign with some players that were, well, let's just say rather neurotic, being kind about it and all. The most neurotic one was playing a Psionic with Telekinesis ability, and, being a munchkin to boot, had pumped up his TK score to where he was setting off all traps with his TK powers without getting close to them.

Okaaaay...so I decided to take him down a peg or two, knowing how freakin' PARANOID he was. Their party encounters a large, marble-tiled room in this castle with strange looking basins and even stranger apparati hanging on the walls over the basins. I describe this in detail, and, of course, "Mr. Paranoid Psionicist" begins to use his TK powers to maneuver the lever under the apparatus furthest away from him. Well, since TK abilities decrease at an inverse square proportion to distance, nothing happened, so he began using more and more charges. Finally, when he had all but drained his Psionic points, the lever on the apparatus moved, and pink pearlescent goo began to pour slowly out of the bottom of the container and puddle on the counter near the basin. You see, the party had encountered the Insane Mage's bathroom, and the PC had used almost every one of his TK points manipulating the wizard's liquid hand soap and lotion dispenser. [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Naturally, I had them run into a *wandering* monster as soon as they left the bathroom, that would have been a LOT easier to take out had "Mr. Paranoid Munchkin-head" not used all of his TK points maneuvering a freakin' SOAP dispenser. The party survived, just barely, and the rest of the players ganged up on the munchkin to where he learned his lesson and reserved his abilities for important things after that.

Cheers,

[Jorath Calar]

Once while fighting a pack of orcs I made a horrible fumble... I was playing a Axewielding fighter human and I got 2 on a d100... then to see how bad the fumble was I rolled another d100 and got 94... basicly what happened was I swung the axe... slipped and cut of my dwarfen buddie's head of... Oh I was so unpopular that day [img]smile.gif[/img]

Just a little side note, once I was playing the game Doom, and listening to Siamese Dreams by Smashing pumpkins, a song called SilverF... (you know, that word that gets you banned). Anyway, I was walking in a hallway when one of the brown imps came up to me and I pumped him with a shotgun and just as he fell to the floor the singer in the song goes "Bang Bang your dead, holding your hand"... it was so appropiate [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Cerek the Barbaric]

You're taking me right down Memory Lane, Saz.
I am also a 1st Edition gamer. (Didn't care much for 2nd Edition, but 3rd Edition sounds pretty cool.)

And we also had a player that was a major "buttmunch" whenever ANYTHING bad happened to his character. He was also extremely paranoid, but would usually just wait for someone else to go first.

As our gaming careers began to wind down, I designed a "Relic Dungeon" just for him. I allowed his ranger to Quest for a specific relic. He chose the Invulnerable Coat of Arnd. HOWEVER, instead of doing a solo quest, this guy took 2 extra characters (one of whom was a cleric) along as back-up. Of course, I had anticipated something along this line.

He finally reaches the dungeon and enters a circular room 100' in diameter. On the far side of the room was a Mithril Golem wearing the armor and carrying a butt-whupping sword. The Golem leaped 50' through the air to land right in front of the character....unleashed a flurry of attacks....and then leaped backwards 30' to avoid the rangers attacks.

My buddy went crazy and charged at max speed towards the Golem.....and "SANK" STRAIGHT INTO THE FLOOR!!! There was a 20' wide trench that stretched across the middle of the room and was filled with micro-grain sand that LOOKED just like the rest of the floor but was no more solid than water!!!

MUCH weeping, wailing, and griping ensued.

"My cleric had cast Detect Traps and Snares! He would have warned the ranger before he fell in." he complained.

"First of all", I said "it was NOT a trap nor a snare...it was a pond that looked solid. A simple dose of caution would've have prevented your character from falling in."

"Secondly, you're ranger CHARGED the golem at max speed. EVEN if I allowed your cleric to Detect the trap, the only thing he could've done was yell 'HEY, LOOK OUT FOR THAT........trap'".

Then I suggested that he quit complaining and start thinking of a way to rescue his character before he drowned.

[Sazerac]

Ah, yes, getting the best of a antagonistic player...the sweet smell of victory!

Traps, traps...oh the devious things we can come up with. That was a great one, BTW...an optical illusion rather than a magical illusion, thus it can't be dispelled nor detected. One of my dungeons I designed way back when was filled with optical illusions. It about drove the players bonkers. I wish I could remember some of the better optical effects; they would do great in a campaign even now.

Cheers,

[Sazerac]

Here are some more hilarious accounts from WebRPG:

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While during a tournement AD&D game GMed by a British fellow, we strolled into a large cave with a fountain in the center. The party nervously looked around, and the GM announced that the fountain had a "leak" in it.

To his suprise, no one reacted. No one except the thief's player who declared that he was sticking his finger in the "leak".

The GM was dumbfounded and shaking his head he said, "Ok, it casts a 20th level fire ball at you."

"WHAT??!?!", the players yelled. The thief was the loudest of those yelling.

"Yes, this "leak" is 20th level, so he can throw 20d6 fire balls," the GM explained.

"A 20th level 'leak'?" the players asked, "What's that?"

"A 'leak', a 'leak', you know, an undead wizard..." the GM explained.

The player's suddenly realized what the GM was talking about - the fountain had a liche, not a leak, in it.

"Liche?! Ah, a liche!" the players yelled and quickly went into action.

Talk about your language barriers! [img]smile.gif[/img]

(comment mine): I wonder just where that DM thought the thief stuck his finger in the Liche? [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

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One of my friend's first experiences in AD&D was the following: he finds himself with a beautiful woman, and sees that half her face is peeling off, and she's been trying to kill him all night with poisoned drinks, and (only-just!) missed back-stabs. Eventually, he sees the half-peeling face, the poisoned knife she's wielding, and the ungodly Charm of Fiery Destruction around her neck.

DM: She stabs at you with her knife!

My friend: She's evil, right?

Oi Vey.

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In an AD&D campaign I ran awhile ago, there were three brave adventurers (Valcor the Fighter, Radix the Bard, and Simon Pirate, mage-fighter) and one sneaky bastard (Silk the "adventurer"- he told me later he took the character straight from some fantasy novel). The players of Valcor and Radix were greenhorns when it came to fantasy RPGs. It would never even occur to them that a fellow party member would steal from them. Only Simon was wise to Silk, but he could never find any direct evidence of Silk's wrongdoing (Silk was real good at covering his tracks).

The dungeon delving routine became: Silk would scout ahead of the party (with strong protests from Simon) to see if there were any ambushes being laid for our heroes. Silk would then look around for the easiest obtainable treasure, pocket it, and report back to the party on everything he saw (except for the goods, of course). I would lay out all kinds of traps and monsters to nab Silk, because his party was so clueless, but Silk always managed to avoid them. Often, if he enountered a monster, he'd nab what treasure he could, and then come screaming back to the party! It got to the point that the players were blaming *me* for my adventures being so magic poor! Meanwhile, Silk carried a magical armory on him, thanks to the multiple bags of holding he had accumulated.

It all came to a head about a year (real time) into the campaign. The party were wandering through some underground caverns, when they came face to face with a half-demon, something none of them had ever encountered before. The half-demon looked in their direction with his glowing red searchlight-like eyes. Silk, in a moment of weakness (I guess he had never felt outclassed before), quickly donned a cloak of invisibility (the party had a paltry few +1 weapons between them, thanks to Silk, and a cloak of invisibility was a pipe-dream to them). Silk's player then turns to me and says, "I put on my invisibility cloak- can he still see me?" Whereupon Valcor's player turns to us, his face bright red, and shouts, "You WHAT?! Where did you get that?!".

Simon's player had an amazing combination of anger and smugness on his face. I ruled that Valcor saw Silk putting on the cloak and vanishing bit by bit. Silk, seeing the jig was up, dived into a strange pool that lay nearby, with the rest of the party giving chase (the half-demon long forgotten). When I wrote the adventure, that pool was a gate to the surface, so all four of the party reappeared in a lake next to a town. Silk took off running.

Valcor was so mad that he just stood there, screaming insults. Simon, however, gave chase. For every spell Simon cast, Silk was able to pull out an ill-gotten magic item to get him out of the fix- slow spell countered by a haste potion, web spell countered by a sword of flames, and so on. And every item Silk pulled out just made the party madder- "When did he find all those potions?! Where did he get a flaming sword?! Where did he find those boots of jumping?!" and so.

Eventually, the town guard were able to catch both Silk and Simon, after both adventurers had exhausted all their spells and magic items. After hearing the tale, Silk was senetenced to death (although he escaped).

Simon had the final word, however. Earlier, he used his familiar (a raven), to follow Silk to his thieves' guild (one of the most notorius in the world). After the above incident, Simon told an order of knights everything he knew about the guild (which was a lot). Two weeks later, Silk's guild was a smoking ruin, and all the thieves put to death. The crime rate dropped to zero in the surrounding kingdoms.

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Cheers,

[Cerek the Barbaric]

Those were hilarious, Saz.

I hope there's no limit to the number of Posts that can be made by one member...because talking about PnP experiences is one of my FAVORITE pasttimes (in an appropriate forum, of course).

I played a halfling thief one time that did something similar to the example stated above. I was playing him in a dungeon along with my buddy that taught me how to play the game. He was playing his thief also and was more experienced than me. We got inside the fortress that we were supposed to attack and quickly began "scouting" ahead of the party. Actually, we would run ahead, check for traps, go through a door, and then LOCK it back behind us. The party started falling farther and farther behind...since they had to break down every door they came to.
We didn't get to steal that much loot and we actually ended up saving the entire party by running ahead. The guards caught up to - and captured - the rest of our party. My friend had to leave the game before it was finished, so that left my thief ALL ALONE, to wander through this fortress and find my buddies. I Hid in a LOT of Shadows and snuck past any guards I met until I finally found and rescued the rest of the party.
If I hadn't run ahead of them, the entire party would've been captured and killed that night.


The DM for that game had created his own Game World where the dungeon took place. I had also created a character to play in his campaign on this world. It was a half-orc assassin (my one try at being evil).

This Game World had a serious shortage of magical items. Any item that was openly displayed would be confiscated by a group that resembled the Cowled Wizards (only this was back in 1986)!

In an early adventure, our group killed some kinda monster in a cave that had very "icky" green blood with little "white splotches" in it. Being an aspiring assassin, I scooped up some of this blood in a metal flask and scratched "X-Heal" on the side of it.

Several games later, we were scoping out a mage in his tower. The DM cautioned us that we shouldn't really try to attack this guy....so naturally, that's what we did.
We got inside the tower only to be attacked by a Flesh Golem. This thing was beating us senseless. After all, we were ONLY 4th-5th level and had very little magic. One of the few items we had was a magical tapestry that we could use to "Teleport" to our home base of operations, which was well populated with other adventurers.
As this golem kept pounding on us, I got an idea. I got the tapestry from the guy that carried it and unrolled it on the floor behind the golem. Then, I got down on all fours behind the golems legs and the fighters launched a team assault. IT WORKED! and the golem tumbled into - and through - the tapestry.
Whew! OK, now that we solved THAT problem, we decided to continue searching for the mage. That's when somebody in the group suddenly stopped and said "Heeeeey....waitaminute. Just HOW powerful does a mage have to be to create a golem?" Collective light-bulbs "blinked" above all of our heads and we decided to beat a hasty retreat. Unfortunately, the mage had been "monitoring" us the entire time and the door leading outside was now magically sealed.
Then the mage and his bodyguard (a 7th-9th level fighter) showed up with some henchmen an attacked. We fought well, but to no avail. We DID manage to take out the mage, but the fighter made pretty short work of us.
As the DM was gathering his stuff together, he burst out laughing and told me he had a "surprise" for me. He had suddenly remembered that little metal flask I was carrying. The fighter had searched our bodies after dispatching us and found my "potion". The mage was badly hurt, but not dead (yet), so the fighter poured the potion down his throat. It turns out that the "white splotches" in the ichor were actually rot grubs, so I got FULL experience for assassinating a 16th level wizard!!!
The fact that I was dead didn't matter. Our fellow adventurers back at the base had managed to find us and my character was resurrected. He came back as a half-ogre!! THAT was a fun campaign.

[Cerek the Barbaric]

Like I said before, this is one of my favorite topics...so I just HAD to BUMP this thread back up to the front with another story.

Tonights Episode -

THE KILLER DM!!!

Did you ever have a DM that considered every game a PERSONAL contest between himself and the players....we certainly did! Ironically enough, our "killer DM" was named Jason (no lie).

Any time your character missed an attack, you had to roll percentile dice to see if your weapon broke....and there was about a 75% chance that it WOULD break. You never saw so many broken swords, axes, and bows (not the string - the actual bow itself) in your life.

In one game, it took my character 3 rounds to activate a Figurine of Wondrous Power - 1 round to pull it out of my pouch, 1 round to set it on the ground, and 1 round to say the Command Word. Of course, the monsters suffered no such penalty and happily beat on my helpless butt while I tried to activate the thing.

But the BEST game we ever had under Jason occurred when we were sent to a small town to "investigate strange disappearances of townsfolk". Our merry band arrived in town and talked to the mayor. He needed us to break into the local castle and see what was going on. We scouted the castle and got decimated by archer fire....just for looking around. One little catch to this game was that our clerics WERE NOT allowed to choose their own spells. Instead, Jason "rolled randomly" to see which spells our Dieties felt we should have that day. Interestingly enough, the dieties for BOTH clerics "randomly" decided to grant Invisibility to Undead each day (even though we hadn't met any yet)...but they REFUSED to grant ANY healing spells. So we just had to hide out long enough to regain our 1hp/day until we were back at full strength (good thing we were only around 3rd lvl).

While we were recovering, one of my best friends got an idea. He realized that the entire party was either Chaotic Neutral or slightly Evil in alignment, so we decided to "elect" ourselves as the new Security Force for the town. We started "checking locks" every night. We would "Pick" the ones that were actually locked and loot the houses.

Well, Jason wasn't at all pleased with this unforeseen development and he forced us to start attacking the castle again. This led to a comedic series of events. We would storm the castle, fight it out with the guards, take heavy damage, and retreat. We would then REST for 2 weeks to regain our full hit points and repeat the process. It took 4 successive tries before we even breached the wall. Once we actually got into the courtyard for the first time, we unloaded everything we had at the guards. Flasks of oil were used to burn down the barracks and trip ropes were placed at the door to catch anybody that ran out.

We eventually made it into the castle itself. We encountered some skeletons (FINALLY got to use that Invisibility to Undead spell) and killed them. After that, it was too late in the Real World to continue the game.

Most of us just took our characters and never returned to the game, but my roommate and a couple of others DID go back to try to finish the dungeon. They eventually followed the villain into a marsh where he unleashed a 12th level Fireball on a 3rd level party....killing the entire group!!!

Another Victory (albeit a belated one) for Jason, the Killer DM!

[ 03-07-2002: Message edited by: Cerek the Barbaric ]

[WOLFGIR]

Hehe! Very funny Saz! I like that one with the cat LOL!

Don´t have that many of my own but once when we played Cult, we felt a bit poor, and the sanity balance of the gang (yep, that matters in that game, you end up being afraid of things, being alcoholic superheroes and such! ) during this robbery the bad guys showed up and a shoot out was the next stage. My character then tried to bring a fellow down so he wouldn´t be caught in the crossfire. He was well, pretty nice a fella so he kicked the guy on the leg and my GM asked for the rolls since it was an act of adrenaline influencies.. I rolled and ended up kicking the poor fellas leg to smitherines and the guy almost died of bloodloss, and the semi-kind action gave my character a couple of negative points as a thank you...

APart from that the only fun thing to mention was during an Ad&D 2:ed game when a character should cast a stinking cloud, he kind lay a real one as a bonus and we had to flee the little hobby house in disgust, and the DM just said: "There you all see how my poor monsters feel when you things like that. No wonder they want to kill you!".

At least we had a good laugh...

[Sazerac]

One of my favorite devices in a game that I used was "Snow cookies" and "Fire cookies", found by an adventuring party in the kitchen of a mage's demesne. The party found these boxes stashed on a pantry shelf, and opened one to find (amazingly still fresh) ginger-snap-like cookies with sparkling red sugar crystals on them.

Not thinking overmuch (he had a WIS of 6), the party's thief popped one in his mouth. I described the effect as, "You feel as if you've just ingested about 50,000 cinammon red-hots." The thief was momentarily incapacitated while he choked and gasped and stumbled around in all directions, then opened his mouth to roar and a 3rd-level fireball (3d6) came roaring out. Being one of the nicer DM's, I rolled for the direction he was facing and he basically toasted the kitchen door and singed the armhair on the party's barbarian.

Needless to say, the PC's grabbed up as many boxes as they could tote (the Snow cookies had white powdered sugar on them that had a slight magical glow, and produced a 4th level Cone of Cold). I had to admire the fact that they did use them effectively, even though I did put in a slight percentage chance that they would lose control and blast something other than their target with them. It was an interesting play on breath weapons, and they really had fun with them.

Cheers,

[Sir ReGiN]

ROFLMAO! [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]
These are great Saz and Cerek!
Keep 'em comin' [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]