WARNING!! Really BAD Puns... painful even.....

[Beaumanoir]

I Just Re-Read That One...

10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show
you A-flat minor

Ohhh, That Really Cracked Me Up!!

[Lady Blue03]

Those were most excellent!
If you wannna read sumthing that is nothing but puns, read Piers Anthony's Xanth series, those are so hilarious!

[dizzy]

hehe oh man!

[Alexander]

Those weren't very punny at all.

[Charean]

Originally posted by Lady Blue03: Those were most excellent! If you wannna read sumthing that is nothing but puns, read Piers Anthony's Xanth series, those are so hilarious!

Read those long ago... loved the series....

Also Robert Aspirin with the MYTH series... GREAT stuff!!

[Charean]

Animals (big puns.com)
Original Puns:

* You'll never be able to make a kite by tying flippers to your Cabbage Patch Kid. Everyone knows that doll fins can't fly.
* In order to build the epidermic outhouse, the snake had to shed it's skin.
* Listening to a bear shuffle through one's belongings can be an in tents experience.
* The two-tailed whale was just a fluke.
* One craftsman specializes in the production of patches bearing the likeness of burrowing carnivorous animals. He's quite a badger.
* I was decidedly leery of the area of land set aside to house the bovines. Cow wards never accomplish anything.
* Two farmers had been fighting over a prized chicken for years. After the hen's death, both men agreed to bury the hatch it.
* The cooperative fur traders beat up a deer. They didn’t want to pelt a member of an endangered species.
* The cow was unable to lactate—she stood in udder disbelief.
* The pain of losing the grizzlies was just unbearable.
* The park ranger, caught in the jaws of a giant grizzly, said, "I'm sorry folks, but you'll just have to bear with me."
* The farmer's new pig enclosure lacked a horizontal piece of wood below the window. The architect really should have drawn the blue prints with a pen-sill.
* How did I know that the small furry animal was not a groundhog? Why, I had to inferret it, of course.

Submitted Puns:

* Q: Why are prawns the least popular animals in the ocean?
A: They're so shellfish.
—Steve Portwine

* A three-legged dog walked into a saloon, went up to the counter, and said to the bartender, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
—Jake Peterson

* My lizard's name is "Tiny." You see, he's my newt.
—Lin Richardson

* Q: What will happen if a cat swallows some coins?
A: There will be some money in the kitty.
—Donald Frazier

* Q: How do wingless ants fly?
A: They use anty aircraft, of course.
—Petershop

* The octopus eight another fish.
—Josh Amunrud

* I used to have straw in my shoes until my calves went down and ate it.
—Billy Hayden

* Three friends were driving home one evening. The first friend saw something move on the road.
"Look! There's a rabbit!" he exclaimed.
"Yeah! There's two of them!" said the second friend.
"No there's not," said the third friend. "Don't go splitting hares!"
—Linda McGinn

* Q: Why is Superman always seen with a chicken?
A: He never goes anywhere without his cape on.
—Kathy T.

* Stamp out racehorse doping. Just say 'Neigh'.
—David Early

* . . . of course, an impotent snake has a reptile dysfunction.
—R.S.G.

* A pack of hungry wolves had suronded the skunk family. Mother skunk said, "Let us spray."
—Donald Frazier

* A family of dolphins walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Hey we don't serve dolphins at this establishment." One of the dolphins replied, "You're doing this on porpoise, aren't you?"
—Bryan Howe

* A rabbit was crossing a meadow: Defeat went over defence before detail.
—Donald Frazier

* Two fishermen were doing their job when one of them caught a great-white shark. Placing the shark on their boat deck, they decided to cut it open to find out what it had eaten. Inside was a pair of pants full of money. One of the fishermen immediately exclaimed, "Hey look, we found a fishful of dollars!"
—Beowulf45

* Q: Why do we call a dollar a buck?
A: It's doe.
—Sally Carreras

* Did you hear that NASA just recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the heard shot round the world.
—Sharii Ann

* When he returned home, the man noticed that all his birds were gone. He suspected fowl play.
—Malte

* The rabbit was trapped in the jaws of a wolf. It was a hairy situation.
—Brian Powell

* When I kicked the dolphin, my friend asked me if it was on poirpose.
—Matt Radigan

* When the farmer finished feeding the cows, he said, "Hay!"
—Squeaks

[Bahamut]

LOL!!! BUt I like the first one still better [img]smile.gif[/img]