Hivetyrant wants to see YOU

[Ilander]

erm...Thanks, LordKathen! I edited the pictures using awe-inspiring graphics programs like...windows paint...lol

[LordKathen]

Beyond me man...

[Aelia Jusa]

Originally posted by silencer: quote: Originally posted by Melusine: [...]Why oh why is it a faux pas to say anything about obesity but apparently still totally OK to make remarks about skinniness?[...]

The typical women's response to a remark about weight - completely overblowing the issue and making it seem like a personal attack. If you would stop and think a second, you would note it was not said in an insulting manner at all, and that using "heavy" in place of would probably not insult a heavy-set person (none I know at least, and neigher would I be). Even the smile at the end undorscores this tenfold. [/QUOTE]Sorry, but I can't agree. In the context, I think Mel's response was justified. She had previously been told she looked like she was pregnant - i.e., her stomach was sticking out. As much as she laughed it off, and good on her for doing so, she should be rightly insulted by that comment. Skinny is also not interchangeable with slim or slender - skinny has negative connotations and it is not flattering to be called skinny. You may not realise this, and that's okay, but pay attention to the media and this will be become very apparant. Female celebrities who are being accused of being anorexic are called 'skinny', not slender. There has been a noticeable shift in how the media deals with weight - no longer are overweight celebrities derided for their size (which is good), they are called 'real women'. Those who are not overweight are, by definition, not 'real' and it is open season to criticise them. Similarly, it is considered okay to say to someone 'you are so lucky you can eat whatever you want and still stay so skinny', or 'you are so skinny, are you anorexic', and this is not considered rude and tactless. On the other hand, if one were to say 'you are so fat, have you considered dieting' would not be acceptable. The double standard about how weight is dealt with in the media and in society is real and unfair.

And I can't for one minute agree that if someone put their picture up and a response came back 'well, don't you look heavy' that they would not be offended. The point of putting pictures up is not so others can make remarks about how they look, but so we can see what people look like because we are supposed to be friends. I think any comment about how a person looks, unless it is specifically a compliment, is completely inappropriate.

And in the spirit of the thread, here's a recent picture of me, on my trip to Europe. Yes, it was summer
[img]http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0VwDjAnUZskqkqbB7vxQvvLTXNHjuj6L6vfTrA7d6!aIKs6ewJ Q1j1mDhs!h!aoI3!E0KZ3IFjie7N4KRd9wObc1iu*qhs7RsSHq Om1pAi4xxiZpyvckQTDHZ*8loSO4U/9th%20London%20DSCF0136.JPG?dc=4675493510922844721[/img]

[LordKathen]

Well said Aelia Jusa.

[silencer]

Originally posted by Aelia Jusa: Sorry, but I can't agree. [blah ...]

No, this is due to a typical misunderstandment of men by women. In men's terms, "skinny" and "slender" are in effect the same exact thing when labeled to a woman. Most men compare the person in question to other men, so it's quite natural for most 110-130lb women to be labeled skinny while they would not necessarily be called so by other women. This also means calling a man skinny IS offensive, because it's not "the norm," if you wish. I think one key point you are missing here is that men do not make a huge issue about weight over women, and hence are free with words.

edit2: As for the media aspect ... come on, I live in the real world, not some abominable reality that cares about hyped opinions and celebrities.

Originally posted by Aelia Jusa: And I can't for one minute agree that if someone put their picture up and a response came back 'well, don't you look heavy' that they would not be offended. The point of putting pictures up is not so others can make remarks about how they look, but so we can see what people look like because we are supposed to be friends. I think any comment about how a person looks, unless it is specifically a compliment, is completely inappropriate.

Again, you are taking this out of context. Nobody said "you look skinny." What was said was being skinny, or "slim" if you will, wouldn't show a pregnancy as much - something I would see as a compliment.

edit: As much as I would really like to contribute to this thread (not that I'm very active here), I don't have a picture on my computer - so I'll stop derailing this thread! [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 10-16-2004, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: silencer ]

[LordKathen]

A fine example of the dangers of a picture thread.

[aleph_null1]

Originally posted by silencer: This also means calling a man skinny IS offensive, because it's not "the norm," if you wish.

We of the 125 lb club would take offense You've obviously never wrestled, boxed, rowed lightweight crew, or sailed college dinghies. We skinny men are a... uuummm... small but proud group.

Originally posted by Aelia Jusa: I think any comment about how a person looks, unless it is specifically a compliment, is completely inappropriate.

On that note, you look lovely in the pic -- where was it taken?

[Dron_Cah]

LOL, Aleph, I was 125, once. I don't know if it would be possible, now though. Well, probably, but I'd have to lose a lot of muscle, too. Bleh! Anyways, I'm still skinny, but I must have thick skin, or something, cause I dont mind being caled skinny. Or fat, for that matter, on the very rare occasion I'm called that, as well.

[silencer]

Originally posted by aleph_null1: We of the 125 lb club would take offense You've obviously never wrestled, boxed, rowed lightweight crew, or sailed college dinghies. We skinny men are a... uuummm... small but proud group.

Another misunderstanding (though this was mostly my fault). I meant skinny in mens terms such as in emaciated, or extraordinarily thin with no muscular structure. Active activities is obviously the bane of this. If you term it that way, you could call me skinny as well - I work out often and I snowboard over 130 (edit: 200 was an exaguration ) times a year most winter seasons (which does great work on the midsection).

[ 10-16-2004, 06:58 PM: Message edited by: silencer ]

[Aelia Jusa]

Originally posted by aleph_null1: quote: Originally posted by Aelia Jusa: I think any comment about how a person looks, unless it is specifically a compliment, is completely inappropriate.

On that note, you look lovely in the pic -- where was it taken? [/QUOTE]Thank you! It was outside the Tower of London. London in July... ah